Parents don't believe me

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I have been researching the symptoms of autism for months now and I am sure that I have Asperger syndrome. I have so many of the symptoms that the evidence is astounding. I have brought it up with my parents as I want to be diagnosed, but they don't believe me. They say that if I really had it I would have been diagnosed when I was younger. Aren't there lots of people that are diagnosed later on in life?

Any advice on what to do would be appreciated.

Can I ask your age and how you believe a diagnosis will be of benefit to you? Just piece of mind in a way?

I'm 17. Getting a diagnosis would give me peace of mind, yes. Of course learning that I may have asperger's already feels like that to a degree, but a diagnosis would remove any doubt and give me complete peace of mind.

I got diagnosed at age 57. It was useful. I use it as a reference point to work out a decent life for myself. You are at an age when you are doing education and/or employment. I think it would be useful to know.

You could tell your parents that Asperger's was only "discovered" by the psychiatrists in 1994 - 20 years ago. I don't they had everything up and running as fast as it would have had to have been to have caught you at an early age. Today they can catch a child at age three and help a lot but they've had 20 years to get a system going.

I would like to mention that it might be best to get a private diagnosis, so that you don't have to wear it like a label for all the world to see. It should be up to you whether to tell people. That's why I'd stay away from school counsellors etc. Maybe get your family doctor to refer you.

How official do you need the Dx to be? I got mine in writing from a psychiatrist. I find everybody and their brother feels entitled to have an opinion about my Asperger's - until I tell them about my "official" Dx. I don't want to spend the rest of my life proving I have Asperger's. I want to be building a life that fits me.

All my very best to you.

I was diagnosed earlier, at the age of 3 but I have heard of people not being diagnosed until their teens or even their 20s. So it happens sometimes.

Yeah, I thought that'd be the answer. I only asked because I would be able to give better advice if something else that was directly related to possible AS was playing out (problems in/with school and such). I'm not sure how you'd reapproach this, because sometimes parents are either in denial or just happen to remember the better times of childhood. It's easy to convince yourself that everything was normal if you have one memory of something that was typical and one of something that was atypical. "Everybody has a few quirks!"

Maybe you could try to go back through your childhood with them casually and relate things that you remember and AS traits. I wouldn't mention the AS again until you get a vibe of whether or not they agreed with some of the oddities. Then maybe lead up with how you're affected by it still and that it's something you just want to look into because you don't want to end up dealing with issues down the road that could have been resolved just by being aware.

Best of luck

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should i get diagnosed too? i am in same case with you.. but, i am on my own. maybe i should get money by working first then, get diagnosed and prepared. but, until this day, asperger is uncurable right?

I wouldn't say it's incurable as that implies there us something wrong with us that has to be fixed. But yes, you can't 'get rid' of Asperger's.

It's not that big a deal if you don't get diagnosed; is it? Cuz my mom knows I'm kind of an aspie but I don't think I'll ever get diagnosed. I never planned on getting diagnosed... O_O

so, they're implying that they would have been completely ready to take you to a counselor or psychiatrist for a dx if you 'really had' it? i don't buy it.
it seems like they may have a more specific, or at least, different picture of aspergers.
i agree 100% with calstar, i think it's a nice idea to go through your past and try and couple events that happened to you, or what you did, and AS traits. that could be something.


peace of mind is a wonderful thing to me, i really just hate uncertainty, or limbo. even when a future outcome is negative or contrary to what i may have wanted, i would still like to be certain so i may prepare for it appropriately or 'make amends' if need be.

anyway, yes, while a dx via school counselors could open doors to opportunities/programs that you may or may not need/want, if YOU knowing that you really do have it is all you need a private, one-on-one is best, if you can find it. (like via family doctor as calstar mentioned) my school counselors have gotten ahold of my dx, and every year my teachers are notified of it apparently.

That would most likely be their own coping mechanism, since it has such a stigma and would make them feel like failed parents. I'm so sick of parents trying make their children feel like they're gifted or something. Start making demands about it, tell them that people can and do fall through the cracks of the system sometimes. I was diagnosed in late 2012 a little after I turned 18, my father was instantly against it, but my mother was supportive enough to take me seriously enough to get checked.

Same here, got diagnosed when I was 16. Not everyone gets diagnosed at the age of 3.

I heard that some parents will pretend not to believe that their kids, especially adolescents has autism (I'm sorry if I'm wrong.) because they think their kids will give "reasons" over their behavior, like: You can't scold me for having a D- in maths! I have autism, remember!? (Even though I think we won't do that, right? maybe?)

Yeah, same here. I was diagnosed when I was a toddler and I really REALLY want to re-check again.

well, some people definitely do that...i don't see it as something to look up to, just laziness/excuses. i was diagnosed when i was 4, according to my parents he was a total dick, did it in like, an hour, at home, and mom and pop eventually made him leave. later they took me to another place where it was said it was "impossible" i was autistic, then it was "some autistic traits"...clearly some dubiousness there. they went to all this trouble to get me checked out for something, and when the verdict came they denied it! for years i think.

definitely. nobody is better than anyone else, we all excel at something and totally suck at something else. keep telling your kid se's perfect and soon se won't want to try hard and actually work at anything.

I had a friend who was diagnosed at 17, and even without a diagnosis, if the shoe fits, it fits, eh? You're here and you're accepted, when you're 18 you can talk to a psychiatrist if you feel a medical diagnosis would really get you some closure, and even if by some tiny microscopic chance you were wrong, you still have similar feelings that deserve to be respected and acknowledged regardless.