Issues about college

Post Reply New Topic

Hey, guys. I know that I haven't been on this site in a while, but I just wanted to get some things off my chest that have been bothering me for a while.

So, I'm 19 now, and I've been out of high school for at least a year. I'm currently a sophomore in college, and college is going for quite well for me academically. I have A's and B's in my classes, and I have a pretty good GPA on top of it. My parents have been very proud of me for doing so well in college, and I can honestly say that I've adjusted really well to the whole college lifestyle. I haven't skipped any of my classes, have sought out help when I needed it and set up a schedule for myself in college.

However, I will honestly say this: I haven't had a great time in college so far. Frankly, a good portion of college has been rather "meh" for me, with some very s***** parts. I've noticed that in college, I don't really have big groups of friends, and some of the friends that I made in freshman year have drifted away from me in my sophomore year. I feel awkward, nervous and rather shy at times; it's as though I find it difficult to open up and reveal myself to people. I'm not sure why I developed this side of myself in college, and I don't think that I was like this in high school, even.

Additionally, I don't party (or even do fun things) in college that often. I can only hang out with my friends and do fun things with them about 1-2 times a week; even then, I find myself having to skip out on doing fun things because of schoolwork. It feels as though I have so much work to do for my classes that I'm very busy a lot of the time, and I don't have much time for fun things. I've joined some clubs, though, and I've made an effort to be more social this year; my friends have even noted that my communication has improved tremendously, which is a pretty big accomplishment for me. Unfortunately, I see people hanging out with friends, doing fun things and having the time of their lives in college, and it makes wonder (or even angers me) that I can't do those things as easily as other people.

Finally, here's another thing that I want to note: In high school, there was a LOT of stupidity, immaturity, and nonsense; from the ridiculous rules, to the repetitive nature of classes and constant harassment and meanness from fellow classmates, high school was honestly a rather average time in my life, and I'm happy that I got out of there. Oddly, though, I seemed to have a solid group of friends that I could rely on in high school; my friends and I had some fun moments that I will never forget, and the bull**** that I experienced in high school actually taught me how to treat people better, and not be a douche.

College is better in the sense that you get far more freedom, people are nicer, and the actual environment for learning is SOOO much better. You can talk to anybody in college, and it's a lot easier to find people who are into the same things as you. College does let you pursue things that you are interested in, and classes, as a whole, are considerably less repetitive (and more rewarding) than high school classes. In contrast, I feel as though it's MUCH easier to feel loneliness in college, and I have very little of those precious, character-defining moments that I got in high school. Most of my life in college is spent going to class, working on assignments, studying and occasional moments of free time, with not much time for being with friends or just enjoying life.

In conclusion, my time in college hasn't been the experience that I thought that it was going to be, and I wanted to share this, so that I could discuss it with you guys. Has anyone else been through the same thing as me? How did you guys get through it?

I'm also a sophomore in college, and I'm going through almost the EXACT same thing you are. The only difference is that I really liked high school. I actually had a group of friends for the first time in my life, and almost everyone was really nice to me, unlike in elementary school and junior high, when I went to school in Kansas (the high school is in Missouri). Now I'm back in Kansas for college, and I despise it. I don't know how to get the friends I had in high school, and it's worse because I live four hours away from these friends. I've joined clubs, because people say that's the best way to get friends, but I haven't gotten any. I do my best to initiate conversations with people, but they don't work. I'm always alone and looking longingly at the people with loads of comrades. I'm just hoping that things will get better once I transfer to a university.

Don't lose faith!! I know the exact feeling you're having now. I ended up not making a whole lot of friends when I first started college and the pain was unbearable. I not only felt close to the verge of tears but I also ended up getting myself motivated to atleast try. I ended up finally finding a club that looked like something interesting after failure due to losing a friendship with someone I had great respect for. I not only went to meetings but I did every bake sale, every field trip and volunteer opportunity, woke up at 3 in the morning just to get a tent for a rally and spent 300 dollars to help them win a competition at school. I not only did that but I asked them how they were doing, what they like to do, whether they wanted to do something over the weekend. Things such as that showed them I was very interested in who they were. Also when you do these things, you notice you begin to really care about them and it's one of the best feelings in the world. I promise you it gets better as you grow older. Also consider broadening your interests, as people might begin to think you are a interesting someone. One other thing you can do is take some acting and speech classes as it helps increase better communication skills. Finally go to asperger experts if you get the time and if you don't know just look up on the internet. Hope I have helped!!