Seriously whats wrong with looking at a girl?

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DailyPoutine1
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18 Feb 2016, 9:40 pm

I don't stare at her or stalk her or anything, just quick looks when heads are turned around. I fail to see how it is worse than being possessed by one guy who gets all the physical contact. I should at least get to enjoy the view of her.



kraftiekortie
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18 Feb 2016, 9:43 pm

There's nothing wrong with looking at a pretty girl.



LydiaMarie
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29 Feb 2016, 9:30 pm

I feel like it really depends on how you look at her. Like, for example, if a guy glances at me or even if he stares a little but smiles at me so that I know he's friendly and not creepy, I'm fine with it. But on the other hand, if he leers at me or stares at my boobs or something, then I get really uncomfortable. It makes me feel like I'm a sort of sexual object or something to him, and it creeps me out. I guess its all about intent. I hope that makes sense -- I'm not sure I explained it well.



Outrider
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05 Mar 2016, 4:01 am

Stealing a few glances at appropriate areas of their body is all good.

But prolonged staring or excessive glances is not.

Irregardless of gender.

Tip: If you've been detected and get a negative look back, you're looking too much as they've noticed. Stop immediately and carry about your day.



gnossienne
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18 Mar 2016, 2:26 am

Oh, that I wish I were a glove upon that hand, that I might touch that cheek.



Methodchess
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19 Mar 2016, 7:28 pm

I think it also depends on the situation and how they are dressed. If a girl is dressed in a way that flaunts certain areas of their body, I think it would be ironic if they complained about being looked at.

Parties and nightclubs gives you some license too imo. I personally hate attending any events where alcohol may be consumed, however, I have attended several parties and sometimes nightclubs when I was younger. I think it's finding the right balance between "having a look" and not coming across as a creep with a prolonged stair.

I'm not sure I would risk smiling unless you are an expert on the various kind of smiles. I would recommend having a look and trying to go undetected in doing so. If they catch you look away immediately, if they have friends with them and seem to speak to them after you looked at them, leave the event asap and go home.



Kiprobalhato
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15 Apr 2016, 12:50 am

i usually just look at girls because they look a lot like some of the characters i have created over the years, some that live in my head.

i look at them as if they have come to life, to this earth, but usually i am just coming off as a thirsty creep.


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16 Apr 2016, 10:01 pm

To be honest, I almost never actually pay any sort of attention to teenage girls my age, and am interested in very few of them.

I would approach if one were interested in me and gave me signs, and I was interested in her, but otherwise I don't want to approach a random female if she hasn't given any signs she's attracted to me.

I rarely get attention from them though, that or I may actually be missing signs simply due to the fact I almost never look directly at them.

Yesterday I was at an event, a 'zombie walk' where everyone dresses up as zombies or zombie hunters and has a fun walk through town.

These two teen girls, one I exchanged a bit of an eye contact game with and smiles, she and her friends waited just ahead of my family, but my family were still talking before joining the walk.

It's slightly possible, though unlikely, she was waiting on me to join the walk so she could talk to me.

Otherwise, they moved on.

But honestly, every teen girl I see I'm just not attracted to, or she already has a boyfriend. Ones I'm attracted to and are single are rare.



Kiprobalhato
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17 Apr 2016, 2:41 am

^ amen, brother.

still, my explanation of that mindset usually just leads to others deciding i am gay.


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Outrider
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18 Apr 2016, 5:48 am

We males aren't horndogs who are going to approach every female.

I personally don't want to approach a random girl if she hasn't expressed interest as that means I'd have to 'earn' her attention and time, and I also have to make the effort to find out if she finds my attractive or not.

A girl who thinks I'm physically good-looking from the get-go, that's half the work done.

Only issue is females who flirt 'just for fun' or those that admire your looks but aren't looking for a reationship or already in one. :|

But aren't/weren't you in a satisfying relationship Kip?

Other issues I always have are; when I'm out it's always with family, I don't have any friends close to me to actually go out and do things with, and there's not many fun things to do here alone.

I don't want to waste my time and money browsing bookstores and coffee cafes or the mall completely solo in the off-chance I'll come across someone my age.

I'm not in high school currently and not doing anything that would expose me frequently to people my own age (e.g. working, studying, etc.).

The place I volunteer, am the youngest, this all-male social group for people with disabilities, second-youngest is about 25.

It sucks...

But otherwise I don't stare, don't even really linger either, I keep to myself if solo.



Kiprobalhato
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19 Apr 2016, 12:32 am

Outrider wrote:
But aren't/weren't you in a satisfying relationship Kip?


i still am fortunately. nearly a year now. (christ!)

i was never a super "thirsty" guy to begin with but with her, all other girls might as well not exist, AFAIC.

i also know what it is like to go out with family, only. the last time i went out not with family or the GF was in june, with a limerent object.
not much else to complain there, my family is nice enough, and very very large even when i cannot understand half of what they are saying.

one event i remember cleanly was in the first year of middle school (when i was 12) in lunch, minding my own business when a gorgeous (to me) year girl a year older came and sat on my lap, arm around, for a reason i cannot comprehend. maybe they thought i was especially dorky and misfit and they decided to play a little prank.

naturally i started to follow her, etc. she did hug me again but then we forgot about each others existence the year later.

but that was an out of the ordinary case. otherwise i chase no one.


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19 Apr 2016, 7:15 am

I pursued girls in high school, have had two brief relationships, been on 7 dates.

Furthest have gotten is hug, kiss, and sleeping in the same bed as a girl. 8O

But otherwise I've got to move-up from pursuing girls in a 'forced-exposure' environment to talking to them in public.

I have agoraphobia unfortunately I need to overcome.

I want to do this by going out alone and exposing myself to outdoor and open-spaces until I become comfortable and confident with myself, but can't when there's no reason for me to really be out, and even when I do go out it's with a family member or friend.

Currently, I cannot go anywhere alone outside the house without feeling extreme anxiety, unless it's a very short distance away.

I don't rely on the other person, simply their prescence helps me feel safe.

But like I said, I can only expose myself to being out and about if I had anywhere to actually go solo.

If I was back in my old city (a tropical paradise and top tourist destination) there's a local pool with free entry. I would have went there all the time, went to the beach plenty of the time, caught the bus all the time, made solo treks to bars and clubs all the time, and otherwise find plenty of fun solo activities to fill my time, and because my friends are still there, would have went out with them all the time as well.

Otherwise where I live now I am cooped up and don't see that changing until i move back to the coast.

There really is nothing here. The only 'clubs and groups' are gardening, farmer's markets, sunday markets, 'country' stuff, parks, and churches. None of these are really good basis for getting out of the house and forcing yourself to be exposed to people.

I enjoy swimming, want to do it seriously, and the local pool at my old city was free. What more could a man ask for?! !!

You're lucky you at least secured a girlfriend who has remained to you after high school - mine broke up with me (for a valid reason) about a month after graduation. My social life in this city died that day. No friends from high school are interested anymore.



Earthling
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19 Apr 2016, 11:04 am

Outrider, you slept in the same bed with a girl but didn't have sex with her? Why? Did you not at all try?



Kiprobalhato
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20 Apr 2016, 12:55 am

i would be too nervous to.


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20 Apr 2016, 3:25 am

She was overly-religious and a 'good girl' - not easy to put-out, and besides, it was the first night we got back together and I slept at her house in a spontaneous move.

She broke up with me just a few days later again as she realized she wasn't attracted to me - :evil:

Even on the night I 'cuddled' with her in bed, aka touching many places I have never touched before to make her feel good, and my mum gave me condoms 'just in case', she wasn't interested in going that far, that soon.

And, I personally wasn't either.

I ended up accidentally pressuring her into taking her clothes off, not all of it, just she was in PJs and I wanted her in underwear. She didn't want that.



Kiprobalhato
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21 Apr 2016, 1:32 am

were the pjs cute at least? :o


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