I’m in a really tricky situation with some friends at school at the moment, whose names I won’t disclose so I’ll just call them A, B and C. This will probably be very long and complicated, so apologies in advance.
A and I have been quite good friends since the start of high school a couple of years ago. B and I were never really that close until recently. C and I have a long history of arguing a lot over the most ridiculous stuff. Anyway, this year A and I were drifting apart a little, which I didn’t like, but I started talking to B online a lot. Both of us have some pretty serious issues with mental health, but they were far worse than I was. Bordering on anorexia, has written suicide notes before, self harm, and that sort of thing. I was really worried about them, but they didn’t want me to tell anyone and I didn’t know what to do.
One time C and I were talking online (actually getting along pretty well for once), and with where the conversation went, I eventually ended up telling them about B. I was worried about how that would go, but we started talking about getting help for them and I figured it was probably for the best. The next day before school we told our English teacher about it, and it looked like they were finally going to get some help. It was a relief to get that off my shoulders. But then it all fell apart. And I’m still not sure.
Now B and C both completely hate me. B, I understand, because they’d asked me not to tell anyone, and I went against that. I still don’t like them hating me, but it makes sense. What I don’t really get is C, who was on my side with the whole thing at first but then just turned on me. From what I can figure out B told them that I’d been lying about the whole thing, but that doesn’t make sense because I swear C said B had shown them the cuts from her self-harm. It’s getting ridiculous, the way this whole thing is going. It also really hurts. I want my friends back. Sure, it was pretty volatile before this, but I still want them back.
On the brighter side, A and I reconnected a bit more recently. That felt so good. They’ve been so wonderful and supportive. I’ve told them everything, both about what I’m going through and the situation with everyone else. Neither of us really understand what’s going on, but that kind of helps me feel less like I’m the only one who’s confused.
Sorry for rambling on for so long. I haven’t quite fully explained everything, but I think I’ve got most of it across. Now I’m just trying to figure out what to do. I want to make sure that everyone’s going to be okay. And, if possible, although I doubt it, I want my friends back.
What do I do?
Rachel
16 Aug 2016, 8:55 am
