How do I let my brother understand my POV?

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Hi guys,

I'm a neurotypical, and my older brother has Asperger's.

My brother asked to use my phone's Whatsapp (presumably to check if he was successful in blocking his account). However, I felt that this was a breach of my privacy (I had some confidential stuff on my phone that I really couldn't let him see), and refused to give him my phone.

This blew up rather quickly. Almost immediately, he accused me of showing attitude towards him, and kept insisting that I lend him my phone, threatening to divulge some of my secrets that I had confided in him if I did not do so.

As far as I can understand, he's mad at me because I immediately rejected his request, which he viewed as offensive. I've already tried explaining, without raising my voice or using an offensive tone, to him that there were confidential chats on my Whatsapp that I could only let my teachers and parents see, but he continued threatening me and insisting that I give him my phone. Honestly, I find his actions hypocritical as he closely guards his own stuff and insists on absolute privacy for himself, which I've adhered to for the past few months.

My question is, how do I let my brother understand that I cannot let him have my phone to protect my own privacy? He's already pulled off other stuff that I've had to endure, and I feel that this is the breaking point.

(Sorry if I offend anyone, I'm quite new to WrongPlanet and I'm not quite familiar with things around here)

I have Asphergers and would NEVER do this. He threatened you. That's not normal Asphergers or family behavior. You need to beat him. Restore your honor. If he wants to threaten you and you lay down and take what will he do then? Go on. Even if you loose he won't do that again. That's a messed up thing for a family member to do. I can't believe someone would DARE do this to flesh and blood.

op may not see this again, but the thread is bumped and here are my two cents anyway;

did you try explaining to your brother, the consequences of leaking your private WhatsApp messages, what bad could happen? if i was feeling particularly desperate, i would do that.

maybe there were other ways for him to check if his account was blocked. if there are (i am not familiar with WhatsApp, though my family uses it extensively), i think it would have been good to show him those alternative ways.

hypocrisy is indeed aggravating, and even more so is trying to reason with such people. did you ever find out who your secrets would have been leaked to?

as for the above guy, i wouldn't listen to his calls for beating him up. if anything, your bro seems like the guy who'd see that as an escalation of the conflict.

(and as i grow older, i learn more and more that 'flesh and blood" really doesn't mean anything...)



why did i respond to this??

if anything, your bro seems like the guy who'd see that as an escalation of the conflict.


I don't think you get it as a female. Women raise good kids men raise good adults. When someone acosts you physically and verbally that means they have no respect for you or anything you do. He's already escalated the situation. From man to young man you growing up. You have to do things to make results. I don't know why you haven't kick his bum(moderators are here) but if you asked any man or even boy if there brother crossed them this way they be knocked out. It'll take a little gutts because 13 y/o aren't oozing testasterone but ,man to man, if he does that again, punch him square on the nose. He'll cry, it won't happen again. He may be a little female dog afterwards but he'll never act like that again.

Veni,Vidi,Vici