I found myself in a dilemma

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Hi, there!
EDIT: I forgot to say i am a new member. Hello!

An attempt to explain my situation:

• I want to make new friends because i have 3 whom i only see 1~2 time(s) per month, and to be fair only one of them is a person whom i can be genuinely myself.
  However, i lack the energy to do so (not to mention that i am in a depressed period, therefore it seems a bad idea to cope with social rejection once again).
• As someone in his early 17's cautious about his future, i want to study for the entrance exam of a very prestigious university in my country (not a university, exactly... but just as prestigious as one!), which will require myself to study for long periods of time each day during a year (or even more!)...
• Well, the problem is... i am already isolated, and that's driving me even more depressed! This isolation of mine started since March of this year and it really felt good at the beginning, but eventually it turns into a burdensome...
• As i said before, i have 3 friends but rarely got to see them. I barely go to school (maybe 2~3 times per month) and also don't know any place to go in order to make new friends, it's really a burdensome...

In summary:

I don't know what the hell i am supposed to do!

• Either i choose to stay isolated and continue to go trough long periods of time without seeing anyone other than my mom, but that's going to destroy my productivity and happiness.
• Or, i choose to go out in the wild to fight with every small talk and endure lots of social rejections... which would probably destroy my productivity and happiness even more, but there's a small chance of success...
• Hmmm... The latter seemed more reasonable while i was typing it...

Making friends is hard, but maintaining the friendship is even more...
Whenever i got lucky enough to find a friend, they just evaporated some time after, probably due to the slow vanishing of masking...
When i got the brilliant idea of "nothing masking at all", then people just assumed i have mental problems or either that i am "pretending"... It wouldn't be too bad if they weren't too loud about it, which probably lowered my chances of making friends even more...

A "mixed" attempt seems my way to go this time... (Basically masking less instead of not masking at all)
What do you guys (and girls) think?

I have never used this website before but I have a similar dilemma. Especially since I’m soon gonna graduate and I have very few friends. I found it near impossible to make new friends so I have to cling onto my current ones. Though I’m still lonely, it’s nice to know im not the only one with this struggle. I hope you feel better soon. Yeah.

Hi Gustavo, and welcome to WP

I love that phrase.
It takes me back to when a fraction of a year meant something.


Not sure of your causality, but evaporating friends is kind of soul destroying.
It accelerates with depression, so there's a feedback loop to contend with.

I wish you luck with both your studies and your quest for friends.