19, turning 20, feeling like I wasted my teen years.

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Is this normal? I didn't do any of the stereotypical teenager stuff in media like going out with friends, dating and etc. I always chalked it up to hollywood hyping these things up and that it wasn't a realistic portrayal of teenagers but... People around me were going to parties, hanging out, getting girlfriends and I didn't do any of that. I stayed mostly at home and had a small group of "friends" who I barely talked with and only hanged out with due to the fear of being alone at school. I never got invited anywhere, didn't even have their contacts to begin with.

I honestly hate myself for not trying to meet new people in high school and sticking with the same group of people who clearly mocked and avoided me. I feel so detached from other people to begin with, and not having had a good time during my teenage years only makes me feel even more... detached. I also always wanted to do those things that are so romanticized as well, it's just that I was too insecure to meet new people. Did I genuinely waste my teen years? I recently got diagnosed with aspergers and it made me realise why I was the way I was and was unable to make the simplest of small talk. Aspergers and social anxiety make one hell of a pair.

It's normal to have such feelings. I am one year older than you and last year, I have been thinking about this a lot. Just like you, I have had just one friend in high school, I never went to parties or had a boyfriend. I can tell you for sure that if you really want to experience those things, you are not late! You still have at least 5 years.
However, you should consider if it's really worth it. Are you sure you would enjoy parties as aspie? For me, the loud music and so many people in one small space would be unbearable. Even spending time with many people for more than three hours would be very tiring. I think that having a bf or gf also requires many social skills, much more than having friends. That's why I don't regret not having normal teenager life that much. I think that spending time pursuing something you really like or talking to a good friend is even more fun than parties.

I think TV and media in general has given all of us an unrealistic expectation on how our lives are suppose to be. I agree with you there. Also 30 is young, I know it may not seem young when you're a kid but I assure it is (to the person who posted 30s being old) I don't know, everyone's lives different, also you never know what that person is really going through.

It's strange because as a teenager I never even thought much about going to parties. I found going to such things to be a bit pointless, They weren't enjoyable and not cognitively stimulating. Also, I realised that it wouldn't have worked out for me very well due to this discomfort in such setting, therefore I had no regrets about not being included in such places. Everytime I have has a taste of such social environments they have always been singularly disappointing, underwhelming and DEPRESSING!

It is always easy to think you might have wasted parts of your life. However, it is a waste of time to look back in regret at things and think 'what if' because most people on the autism spectrum do not adjust well to neurotypical environments anyway. The key to our discontent is probably creating a like-minded community among people on the spectrum whose communities and social groups are formed on the basis of their interests. Only then will we have some feeling of 'belonging'. Even then it will naturally be a bit hit and miss. Also, you may well be romanticising the things that you may perceive as missing out on because you are looking at it from the perspective of an outsider looking in. Except you don't really know all the messiness and banality of this so-called normative teenage environment.