Insults

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If you ever recieve an insult, do you tend to take it personally, or just tend to wash it off and find an excuse for it that separates you from the insult in question? Does this differ for you online as opposed to real life?

Humour is often used to convey a serious message, but in an ambiguous way which cannot (normally) cause offence. It can also be a means of self-defence e.g. self-depreciation to remove any traces of competitiveness, or surrealism or overkill to point out extremism and nullify its consequences.

The Scots are masters of the subtle put-down: being "damned with faint praise". I think this is a direct result of the aggression and alcohol found in Scottish culture - it is a safety valve which prevents direct confrontation.

So: it all comes down to a). who is speaking, b). how serious (and therefore threatening) they sound, c). the situation, and d). the history of relations between the two parties involved.

Two people could say exactly the same thing to me and one would make me laugh while the other, on a bad day, might earn a fat lip.

I think the independent variable is how involved I am with the insulter. If my wife insulted me, it could hurt. If you, for example, insulted me, well hell, I don't even know you.

I'm the exact opposite. A friend can say what they like, cos I'll know when it's meant in jest and when they're trying to tell me something but in a humourous way. Strangers, on the other hand, do not automaticallly have my understanding or respect and therefore need to be more considerate unless they wish to make an enemy.

I'm incredibly oversensitive and take everything personally, so I get hurt all the time. I wish I could change that, but I can't. I envy people who don't seem to be bothered by anything and just do what they want, but only because they seem not to ever get hurt (which is hard to believe and may be an act to some extent). They also tend to be extremely self-centered and selfish, though, and I don't envy that.

I just wish people could be more courteous and care a bit about others. I hate the "in your face" macho bully attitude of our present culture.

Cruelty is not a sign of strength.

I get my feelings hurt alot by .....people.It doesnt matter if the insult is true or if I like the person or dont but it isnt as bad when its an insult from someone I have no respect for.

Insults reflect poorly on the person doing the insulting rather than the victim. I've seen it this way since primary school.

I do get realy upset though, when the insult is intended to shame or defame me infront of other people. These kinds of insults hit my weak spot: the inability to immediatley and accurately counter the attack infront of numerous onlookers. Even some of the most inaccurate and unfair insults can change the onlooker's perception of the victim if they fumble the defense. It's just not right.

When I am insulted by someone(rarely happens) I do nothing. I do not ignore them, because that to them is just as much of a response as actually trying to retort, I just look at them, smile and laugh a little, scratch my nose etc. Say nothing, but acknowledging that they're there usually makes them leave.

Only if they insult meerkats, then they have it coming to them.

Insults are a way of a small, pitifull fool, repeating lines that have been said many times, they are not smart enough to find there own "Style" So they mock people that are clearly cooler, smarter, and just plain better than them. There insecure, and hopeless little fools that have no second opinions, just ignore what they say. They will die long before you.

rip them back, if they rip you

On the outside I brush it off, but on the inside... rarely, but sometimes, insults have given me valuable advice in an awkward manner. Regardless, I'm becoming more self-confident every day and know when to listen and when not to.

I used to just laugh in thier face and walk away shaking my head. Sometimes I still do that,but nowadays I do things like: give them a menacing look,threaten them,do something generally creepy,etc.

It really depends on the nature of the insult and who is saying it whether I am really offended or it just amuses me.


-SpaceCase

There's a whole world of difference between a light-hearted insult and something intended to cause hurt because a bully gets their kicks out of it.

In many cases a gentle tease with an element of truth is a far nicer way of finding out how somebody feels about you than a direct and detailed critique would be.

Humour is deeply contextual which is why Aspies have a hard time with it. I don't condone nastiness, but I do think that subtle insults amongst friends can be a very useful social tool. A witty insult can defuse a potentially serious situation, for example.

Isn't an insult just information that the receiver doesn't appreciate? In the end, what is offensive is clearly subjective and the more things that can offend us, the less stoic our existence becomes.

Now, people tried to purposefully hurt my feelings at some points, I could call them insults but that would be a dismissal tactic to keep me from examining the worth of the information they relayed to me. Recently, I'm beginning to feel that reacting with destructive/violent anger is probably the most counterproductive measure to letting the other party know that you don't appreciate their information.

The most recent comment (or insult if I were to perceive it that way) I received was information regarding my sexual practices and intelligence all in one nice package. I examined the information and found it be inaccurate, I don't quite fit the criteria for being "ret*d" and I haven't performed the sexual stimulation in question. Since there wasn't anything potentially useful about the information, I had to figure out why did this person give that kind of information to me. So, instead of firing off a similar load of inaccurate information or reacting with destructive behaviour, I took the inaccurate information and turned it into a little joke. I'm glad I decided on this because I found out later the person who did this to me was in a great deal of pain and wasn't in his right mind due to taking painkillers that affected his judgement.

I don't know if it'll work for others, but I feel that not having strong emotional attachments or taking things so seriously that it will delude you into resorting to destructive degenerate behaviour will lead to less misery and suffering.

So to summarise, I'm trying to teach myself to analyse information and figure out ways to deal with it peacefully without compromising or submitting myself to their destructive patterns. =)

I tend to take things personally on the internet, not in real life. Odd...................................

But I agree with Solid; you should DEFINATELY fight back.