Looking for some advice

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Hi I am a mom to a HFA 14 year old son that I have been homeschooling for almost 2 years now. I am finding it harder and harder to help him understand that he needs to try to learn to do things so that if the time comes he can live on his own. He is very forgetful and has a real hard time staying on task I fear that this is what will keep him from being able to hold a job & live on his own.
I need you all to tell me is this autistic type trates or teenage ones any and all advice is welcomed. I posted this in this forum becouse I want the info from people like him in age and maturety so tell me what you would like your parents to know so that I can be a better mother to my son.

Thank you

Hello to you.....) As a mother with 4 kids, 1 who is autistic with learning disabilities, and myself with strong asperger traits, may I please offer a few things that may help... Keep a constant routine going for him each hour of the day, from the time he gets up til he unwinds for bed.. Routine is essential for them, and when things are changed, there may be an upheaval... keep post it notes or signs to remind him to wash up, clean up, put back things, be close by for meals, etc... Keep organized with his paperwork in the same spot each day, so he knows it is routine...Keep the home calm, quiet, peaceful....Let him excercise daily .. These things I believe you are already doing, and I admire you for homeschooling him as well... Just keep your head up, praise him for the positive efforts, and be consistant with the routines.. Mt daughter just turned 18, and I am in the process of applying for guardianship, SSI, medicare, etc. so that she is prepared for the world( well, a group home) when the time is needed. It is so important to know they will be able to handle themselves when the time comes....Good luck to you, I really sense that you are on these things already, you must believe in yourself, and know that it is going to work for the two of you.....

thank you for your reply and you are right i do some of that already but I could become more consistent and organized than I am.

focus on his interests does he like movies then he might want to be an actor or director
anime or manga maybye he could become a mangaka remind him about due dates but give him time to relax and just have fun make sure to inclue topics he is interested in and be pationt and listen to him! i'm going to be a writer my mom encourages my writing and never expects me to do things i cant do in school i do well because its fun and i want to learn point out how learning will help him be whatever he wants to be in life make the schooling revolve around him not who books say he sould be if he will never do any work tell him he has too get it done before he does anything else but make it clear that your avalibe to help him if he needs you

He wants to be a wrighter too, So I am letting him play video games that I have gotten for him for this reson and than have him wright a story about what he did in the game, the story only has to be one page long and then he checkes his spelling and sentence structur as well as punctuation. Asfor the subjects that he would have learned in the public school if it is something that he dosen't want to learn and I think that he will probubly not use it we only do the basics of it and then if he finds that he wants to know it or needs to than we will go back and learn it then ( I beleave that you learn things better if you want to learn it or if you like it and it is fun).
Unfortunetly he dosn't want to do the work even the fun stuff he acts as if everything is a punishment and then I get frustrated and he ends up in trouble.
So how do I get him to understand that everyone has things that they need to do and that that is life ( FYI I have already had a talk about this with him some times we have to tell him this every week becouse he just dosen't want to work) ( and this goes for chores too he complanes about chores every day )

Thank you for trying to help

I don't think forgetfulness is really an autistic trait... as far as I'm concerned most autistics have a great memory.

hey i'm an adult on the spectrum (27) graduated from high school 8 years ago. So i hope my information is helpful, Does your son have a IEP setup? I'm suggesting this cause I was successful and did well up to the point of graduating from High School and even held down 2 jobs and self employment(ecommerce, internet) which was since 1994. The problems for me didn't kick in till i got the wrong job (in the grocery industry) as a cashier at age 20 and it was to much sensory overload from the pain of (grocery industry) I worked at a amusement park (game operator for 8 months) and then that led to he**. of course I did well working from home with my own internet business. But the other jobs and traumatic events, pretty much shut me down completely (PTSD,depression,Anxiety, etc) so i strongly suggest that you focus him on his interests and a job that doesnt require a lot of customer interaction. Anyway you may also want to apply to ssd and SSI, thats what I did couple years ago, i'm on it now too, which pretty much saved my life. anyway get your sons iep (make sure it's complete. Talk to an expert in ADHD,ADD and Autism and ask them if they no one of anyone who can help you get on social security disability. . cause usually you have to have more then just autism (gotta have the co-morpid conditions) to also get disability. You never know. Some people may not need it, but just incase the worst happens you have a 2nd support system in place... also thats a good idea about the video games and writing, I do quite a bit of writing myself. you can checkout my website which is in my profile.