Omfg, I need help

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yes ladies and gentlemen, its that type of post that comes round every so often, prepared to be appauled

i am bisexual, and i dont know how to tell my parents, i know i know its very cliche, and many of you are saying "just tell them", but thats why im on wrongplanet.

i did have the idea of going on national television and telling them that way, or bring home someone but act like iv already told them.

but sieriously (damn spelling) i need some help, can any of your stories or ideas help me?

^^ Greetings tk5800. ^^ I am very sorry as I have not been present in ta similar situation as this and I believe this is a very sensitive matter indeed. ^^ I do see that you have stated that many individuals have advised you to "just tell them", and you are worried about this and with to try other matters. ^^ I must say initially however, that I believe it best that you do not use deceptive techniques, such as pretending that you have previously informed them about this.
^^ I believe there are many ways of informing them directly. ^^ Firstly, I believe you may gather your happy parents in a room and inform them or perhaps just mention this when you are already speaking. Also, if you would wish, you may write a letter for them. ^^ I believe this may be nice for you as this informs them directly and does not involve the happy anxiety pixies that informing them by speaking would do so.

^^ I do hope this is of help for you.

If your parents really love you no matter what or are not super religious, they wouldn't care. Sure its a touchy subject and if they get angry which i'm sure wouldn't happen, they aren't doing a good job as parents. Think about it, about what they're like, and if you feel they won't be angry, tell them, it'll take away your anxiety quickly. (i'm straight but im sure if you do this it'll work out ) But also are you sure your bisexual cuz you could just be bicurious which is a phase a few people go through.

I'm not sure I understand why you feel such a need to tell them anything. If you were gay, then it would have to come up eventually, else you could never bring a life-partner around. But if bi is simply a sexual orientation, why announce it? I don't regale my folks with my sexual activities and I'm sure they're quite glad of it. Unless you think you're likely to marry a same-sex partner at some point, what's it got to do with them?

i guess the thing i would do is just dont tell them until you get in a relationship and you have to tell them,

if they wont have any problem with it, then i think thats the best plan

I'm guessing you're straight.

Some reasons that people want to come out are that it is painful to feel like you are keeping a secret from your loved ones. Straight people are not expected to keep their sexuality a secret; feeling like you must keep quiet about your sexuality can be stressful and provoke anxiety inside of you. It can feel like you are wrestling with a part of yourself. It makes you feel ashamed. The worst part for me is that it can affect your ability to feel close with your family and friends if you feel like you are hiding something from them. It can be a big relief to get it all out in the open.

Frankly, to describe coming out of the closet as akin to "regaling your folks with your sexual activities" tells me that you're not familiar with the social and familial aspects of living with an LGBT identity. Coming out has nothing to do with forcing lurid sexual descriptions on the unwilling. Coming out is about being open and honest about who you are.

hi...
first of all you have to think about how is your parent's beliefs and behavior. If they are extremely religious, do not have an open mind or they tend to get upset very easy, i'd suggest that you tell them when you are already living by yourself. I mean, if there is any risk for you to loose your home or get fisically hurt then wait as long as possible. (it happened to a friend of mine)

if that's not your situation, I think the best you can do is wait until you have a relationship with someone and find support on that person so she/he will help you tell them about your sexual orientation. (at least that is what i'd do)

I hope my advice will help you...

Congratulations on coming out to yourself! It's great that you want to reach out to your loved ones.

One thing to consider when coming out is whether you have enough support. Does your school have a queer student alliance? Is there a queer youth group in your local area? I don't know what country you're in, but two groups to contact are PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) and GLSEN (Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network) - Google them. PFLAG has local chapters all over the United States, but even if you're outside the US, I bet they could help you find local resources. Even online support groups are better than nothing. Also check out BiNet USA and the Bisexual Resource Center, the latter is in Boston, MA, both have websites.

Another thing to consider is whether your parents will be accepting. If they are of a religion that forbids homosexuality, or if they seem phobic, it might be better to wait until you have moved out of their house or are no longer dependent on them, since some parents decide to punish their kids for being queer. It's wrong, but some do it. So only consider it if you are fairly sure they won't become hostile.

One way to "test the waters" is to bring up the topic of same-sex marriage if it comes up in the news again, or if some other LGBT topic appears in the news. Tell them you saw that story and see how they react. Or if you think you could "pull it off", tell them that a friend of yours told you that they were bisexual. Be ready to tell them that the friend swore you to secrecy and that you can't tell them who it is.

Let me know if I can be of any further assistance! When I came out, I just told my mom, and she was fine with it, but my mom's pretty chill about these things. Hope your parents are cool, too.

I don't think this is a good idea, for a few reasons.

One: it is stressful to stay in the closet! The person might have to wait a long time before they get into a same-sex relationship. Or worse, they might be too afraid to get into a same-sex relationship because they haven't told their family: not coming out can have a really negative impact.

Two: it's not fair to the other person to make them responsible for breaking news to the family. What if the family reacts badly? Why should someone else be exposed to that? This is why so many people say "I only want to be with someone who is comfortable with their sexuality". If coming out to the family is something the person needs to do in order to be comfortable, and they haven't done it yet, it puts the other partner in a bad situation.

Sometimes a family reacts badly at first, but then comes around. When there is a new partner, the family might blast the partner with their initial negativity. They might blame the partner for "turning our son gay!" because they equate the news about the gayness with the new partner. They might try to break up the relationship. It's really just better to come out if it's safe to do it, don't wait for a relationship because it only puts stress on it.

I don't know what kind of relationship you have with your parents, but I wouldn't tell them. If you get a same-sex partner, then they'll figure it out.

well i have told them

i told my mum thinking she would be understanding and help me to tell my dad, but when i told her she started to say things like "dont worry, your normal, your not gay, i wouldnt worry about it,

i know this is going to take some time, and not just blow over in one minute, but if my mum doesnt "tolerate" it, then she wont be able to help me tell my dad, has this or a similer thing happened to you?

also, is she going through the five stages, denial anger fear bargening acceptance, although the stages are for coping with loss or death, i think they can be applied here, what do you guys think?

Your mum is having a pretty typical response. Give it some time. Usually the main concern is that she doesn't want your life to be any harder than it has to be.

If you have a good, positive attitude about it, she'll probably come around.

A lot of times there's a role reversal, where the person 'coming out' is in the parent/grown-up role, and the parents are in the 'child' role. Be patient and kind.

If you think your dad will have problems with it, it's best to work it through with your mum first. But sometimes people surprise you, in good ways.

Good luck, and congratulations.