Do you/is it a good idea to tell family about a crush?

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E-FrameZenderblast
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05 Feb 2011, 4:55 am

I have held a crush on a girl at school for a long time, and it is becoming harder and harder to bear. I told two of my school friends (ones I can trust) which made me feel better. But would it be a good idea to tell my parents and/or brother?

My big brother has a girlfriend, and my parents are accepting of her (except that she tends to spoil my brother), and are usually understanding of my views. I am just not sure, since once I have told them I cannot take it back, and they may try to do something about it like contact her parents, give me advice, et cetera. Also I KNOW that they, especially my brother, will make jokes about it.

What do other people think?



Asp-Z
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05 Feb 2011, 4:58 am

I say you should be more concerned with telling your crush how you feel.



E-FrameZenderblast
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05 Feb 2011, 5:18 am

Quote:
I say you should be more concerned with telling your crush how you feel.


Well, my crush and I have had a history of almost not speaking to each other since we met over a year ago (for me from shyness, her I do not know, possibly the same), and so I do not know her well, despite many opportunities to talk to her. Currently I am trying to make up my mind as to what to say to her, and also whether her somewhat frequent glances at me indicate any interest. In any case, I doubt that any time soon we will get together (if ever :cry: ) and because I feel very stressed about my uncertainty I find it makes me feel better to talk to someone about it.



E-FrameZenderblast
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07 Feb 2011, 11:26 pm

Oog.

One of my friends told me that she acts more shyly than usual around me, which I have never noticed. Now I feel slightly more hopeful. 8O

I know that this is not really relevant, but I desperately needed to post this somewhere.



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08 Feb 2011, 12:00 am

In my experience, no. My sister in particular makes fun of me. Weigh the pros and cons - which is more important, confiding in your family or not being embarrassed and teased?



Asp-Z
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08 Feb 2011, 5:09 am

E-FrameZenderblast wrote:
Oog.

One of my friends told me that she acts more shyly than usual around me, which I have never noticed. Now I feel slightly more hopeful. 8O

I know that this is not really relevant, but I desperately needed to post this somewhere.


The girl I liked last told me that too, but she still rejected me. Not to piss on your parade or anything, but getting hung up on tiny details like that is pointless. Just ask her out and see what she says.



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08 Feb 2011, 2:13 pm

I say no, parents don't need to know, it's just embarrassing for you and they might tease you. (In my case my mother interrogated me when I said I liked somebody, threatening punishment until I gave up)



E-FrameZenderblast
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08 Feb 2011, 10:46 pm

Considering what people have said, I suppose I should not. Thanks for the advice, I almost have told them at times.

Quote:
The girl I liked last told me that too, but she still rejected me. Not to piss on your parade or anything, but getting hung up on tiny details like that is pointless. Just ask her out and see what she says.

That seems smart enough. Now I just have to end up in a situation with her where no one else is around or listening...



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08 Feb 2011, 11:11 pm

E-Frame, it's true, you needa tell her. If you don't it'll just continue to build inside you, the sooner you get accepted the happier you'll be. The sooner you get rejected the sooner you can move on.



E-FrameZenderblast
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08 Feb 2011, 11:46 pm

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E-Frame, it's true, you needa tell her. If you don't it'll just continue to build inside you, the sooner you get accepted the happier you'll be. The sooner you get rejected the sooner you can move on.

I know, I feel awful that I missed SO many opportunities last year. I am just not sure if I could stand embarrassing myself (and her) in front of lots of classmates and friends. I also feel scared because I have two years left of school and then I could never see her again (I know that is a lot of time, but I still feel scared).

Basically, I think I have a few choices:
1: Talk to her before school, this could be awkward because usually we are just walking past each other and do not say anything.
2: Talk to her before or after class, this could be embarrassing because there are people around. There is a small chance that we could be the only ones though.
3: Wait for an opportunity in class, like if the teacher makes us work together or seating arrangements change, this may never happen though.
4: Join her lunchtime group of friends, I do not feel comfortable doing this, even though I know some of the male ones (and a few females slightly).
5: Random chance event, e.g. meeting outside of school, a teacher tells me to take a message to her or something like that. I almost went to find her today when she was late for class...
6: See if I can ask one of her friends to find out her feelings (that would make me a lot more confident), though I am not sure who I can trust and when I could ask them.

There is not any 'perfect' way of doing it, is there?

Indecisiveness is my main problem, and fear of rejection. I think I could get through rejection, but I really cannot decide what to do...

Hang on a second, it is Valentine's Day on Monday, correct? I know it is just symbolic, but I cannot help but hope that maybe I could ask her then...



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09 Feb 2011, 12:20 am

Valentines Day works, just handle the rejection. She needs to know, don't be afraid. Fear can stop us doing so many things which can help us in one way or another. Just take a leap of faith and know that no matter what, you'll fly over the danger.



E-FrameZenderblast
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09 Feb 2011, 1:59 am

Okay, I was thinking over it, and decided that I would try to catch her before school starts. I have thought over what to say, and I know that my face will catch fire (in a manner of speaking) but I think I can do it. This relies on two factors:
1: I am early enough for school that the first bell has not gone and she has not yet come, so I can wait for her.
2: I can summon enough courage to say her name to her face in order to attract her attention.

:?



Or should I actually become a friend of hers first? Would asking her out seem weird or creepy otherwise? We have been a lot of the same classes and I think that we have the general idea of each other... at least I do of her. Then again, I have heard of people asking out complete strangers - I recall reading a thread somewhere here about a guy who worked in a supermarket got subtly asked out by a woman, and he did not comprehend her meaning until it was too late, and they were complete strangers.

So that should be all right?