you have to fit in, and also be an individual

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is it better to fit in or be an individual
better to fit in 14%  14%  [ 3 ]
better to be an individual 86%  86%  [ 18 ]
Total votes : 21

tk5800
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15 Oct 2009, 10:36 pm

in school most of the time you are told to fit in, they encourage people to fit in, at the same time, for example, at my school they gave a speech about being an individual, so my question to you is which is better

fitting in

or being an individual
please give your response



X_Parasite
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15 Oct 2009, 11:11 pm

Everyone is supposed to be an individual, just like everyone else. Therefore, by being an individual, they fit in.
If that sounds illogical, then that's because it doesn't work that way.



dossa
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16 Oct 2009, 12:16 am

When my son was in fifth grade we were called in for a conference with his teacher about a book report that he turned in. The teacher was concerned about our son because he either missed the whole 'obvious' point of the book or 'rebelled' against the books message and the teacher thought it was insubordination because our son is great with reading comprehension. The book was about this outcast type boy who wore different clothes, listened to different music, had long hair, a facial piercing... things like that. Throughout the book everyone fought to change him and he resisted. At this point in the conferee, I was interested in this story... kind of liking the charater... he was, in my opinion, a neat artsy type (much like my son). The teacher then showed us the end of the book. The character was wearing short hair, no face jewelry, some uniform looking outfit... standing in a group of kids who were simply carbon copies of him, planning to play football. The teacher went on about fitting in being important. I asked if it important enough to kill the spirit and personality of a child so that they can be what you want them to be. But what do I know... I think the world is crazy and I think most people are dreadful. Why would I want to be a part of that? Being an individual is, me thinks, the way to go.



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16 Oct 2009, 12:33 am

Am I the only one that's being different in the entire wrongplanet?
I've browse through some similar threads and they all said that they were all being individualistic &doesnt care what other ppl think of them.

I am naturally an individual, but i've been through a tough middle school and saw all the mean things they've done to kids that doesnt fit in.

So lately i am trying to fit with the other kids although i'm not really comfortable with it


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tk5800
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16 Oct 2009, 12:35 am

Quote:
When my son was in fifth grade we were called in for a conference with his teacher about a book report that he turned in. The teacher was concerned about our son because he either missed the whole 'obvious' point of the book or 'rebelled' against the books message and the teacher thought it was insubordination because our son is great with reading comprehension. The book was about this outcast type boy who wore different clothes, listened to different music, had long hair, a facial piercing... things like that. Throughout the book everyone fought to change him and he resisted. At this point in the conferee, I was interested in this story... kind of liking the charater... he was, in my opinion, a neat artsy type (much like my son). The teacher then showed us the end of the book. The character was wearing short hair, no face jewelry, some uniform looking outfit... standing in a group of kids who were simply carbon copies of him, planning to play football. The teacher went on about fitting in being important. I asked if it important enough to kill the spirit and personality of a child so that they can be what you want them to be. But what do I know... I think the world is crazy and I think most people are dreadful. Why would I want to be a part of that? Being an individual is, me thinks, the way to go.


you raise a good point, this character, although considered an outcast, might be the smartest of all the characters, and by the group changing him he looses this, you son is very smart, (i take it he is say, 10, 11) he is already commenting on our, or your society.

you say that being an individual is the way to go, i agree, but what i dont agree with is most schools having this oxymoron, fit in AND be an in dividual.

also, i dont understand how your son expressing himself through a book was "rebeling", although he may have been questioning what the teacher told him to do, i dont think it was insubordination.

p.s. thanks for replying



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23 Oct 2009, 7:01 am

Catch 22-ism at its worst.


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23 Oct 2009, 3:38 pm

Many people would love to say individual but in reality would never want to seem weird.



JamesTheCat
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31 Oct 2009, 5:00 am

I'm gonna be honest and say fitting in. Being an individual draws too much attention and I'm not ready for that.



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01 Nov 2009, 10:11 am

Well, the way I see it, I've been trying to fit in for years and it hasn't worked, so I might as well be an individual seeing as how I don't have any other choice (if that makes sense)



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01 Nov 2009, 10:58 am

No contradiction. "You are a unique human being. Just like everyone else on the planet." Being an individual does not mean you have to reject any and all social conventions. Nor does fitting in mean being a clone. The majority of social interactions can be reduced to a dozen or so rituals. Learning and using those rituals are all there is to fitting in. The cost to you as an individual is small. The immediate reward is being able to function in most situations without any real effort beyond evaluating what ritual is required.The major reward is you can then be an individual about important things.



anasthasia
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11 Nov 2009, 4:48 pm

---------- wrote:
Well, the way I see it, I've been trying to fit in for years and it hasn't worked, so I might as well be an individual seeing as how I don't have any other choice (if that makes sense)


Just like me.
Usually, I stand out. Either I am hardly trying to fit in, I do not, I can't, it's really hard. Then I am not me, and I can't not being me, anyway.
Sometimes I fit in, but usually only with "different people", or people who have similar interests as I do.
But still, I don't perfectly fit in, I do always stand out a bit, but I just can't do it other way.
When I really fit in, it's when I am with Autism group.

So...I say it's better to be an individual.


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19 Feb 2010, 6:33 pm

If you're an aspie it will be impossible to fit in and be an individual. NTs are near enough identical so they can do both. Aspies/Autistics can only fit in with those who have their particular type of autism.



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21 Feb 2010, 12:20 am

i don't want to be like people around me but i don't want to be noticed. so i guess my answer is both.


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21 Feb 2010, 6:20 am

dossa wrote:
When my son was in fifth grade we were called in for a conference with his teacher about a book report that he turned in. The teacher was concerned about our son because he either missed the whole 'obvious' point of the book or 'rebelled' against the books message and the teacher thought it was insubordination because our son is great with reading comprehension. The book was about this outcast type boy who wore different clothes, listened to different music, had long hair, a facial piercing... things like that. Throughout the book everyone fought to change him and he resisted. At this point in the conferee, I was interested in this story... kind of liking the charater... he was, in my opinion, a neat artsy type (much like my son). The teacher then showed us the end of the book. The character was wearing short hair, no face jewelry, some uniform looking outfit... standing in a group of kids who were simply carbon copies of him, planning to play football. The teacher went on about fitting in being important. I asked if it important enough to kill the spirit and personality of a child so that they can be what you want them to be. But what do I know... I think the world is crazy and I think most people are dreadful. Why would I want to be a part of that? Being an individual is, me thinks, the way to go.


Quite honestly, I would have said the same thing. We are all conformed to fit in to society. This moral of fitting in is even in some cases considered to be more important than education, and that truly angers me. Through that book, they're trying to teach that to fit in, you must be willing to change your entire appearance and personality... What is the good in that? If it was a purely educational benefit, then maybe I would say otherwise, but because it's telling people how they should live their lives in order to make friends, I am appalled that a school would allow such a thing. I am truly speechless at the moment, and my support goes out to you and anyone else who rebels against that message.