my son's social skills

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Hi, everyone. I'm a parent of a 9 year old boy with high functioning autism. He's doing terrific but has significant social trouble mostly when dealing with his peers. He becomes very anxious and agitated when forced to interact but tries so hard. I'm struggling with whether to concentrate on social skills development or to just allow him to be him. I'm curious as to what adults with autism and Asperger's think. Do you wish you had had more social skills training as a youngster? Do you feel it might have helped the difficulties (bullying, isolation, depression) or if you had significant social skills training, do you feel it was beneficial in your adult life? Or was it too painful with not much payoff?

Thanks.

Goodmom

What do you mean by 'social skill training'. My parents tried to 'fix' the problem by signing me up for every team sport they could think of, and it sucked horribly. Being forced to do group activities against your will doesn't make you more social, it makes you miserable.

However, if your son happens to have an interest in a certain topic, you could probably get him to sign up for a group that deals with that. Forcing your son to be on the soccer team wont help, but if he wants to play soccer, then go ahead and let him. Unfortunately, being 9 years old means that there aren't many groups available, other then little league sports. Other options might be things like boy scouts, or karate classes. But whatever you decide to do, make sure he agrees to do it without coercion.

Also, if your willing to pay 13$ per month, you can get him a subscription to a MMORPG. Thats basically an online game where thousands of people play together. Common ones include Second Life, World of Warcraft, Final Fantasy 11, or EVE Online. Those are generally aimed at the teen or older group, but if your son is mature, then it might be worth trying for a month. I Know I played Final Fantasy 11 for 3 years, and EVE online for 6 months. Its all about working together with other people in a cooperative manner in order to achieve your goals. So, you tend to develop alot of friendships and social skills by playing the game. Plus, its much easier to be open and friendly online. If somebody acts like a jerk you can simply mute them and ignore them. I wish that was a feature in real life. Plus, your son will get fixated on something, its an aspie trait. If its a MMORPG, then at least he will be fixated on something with a strong social component to it.