Why did she ask me this? I don't understand! Why!?

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protest_the_hero
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12 Dec 2008, 6:23 pm

blablabla...
Me- I have autism
Brandi- Really? No you don't!
Me- Well, I have asperger's syndrome. It's like I'm slightly autistic.
Brandi- Okay... We're still friends right?
Me- Ya...



Fidget
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12 Dec 2008, 6:39 pm

Umm.... that's an interesting response...



Moop
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12 Dec 2008, 7:11 pm

I don't understand why she would've questioned your friendship.



LeeAnderson
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12 Dec 2008, 7:16 pm

Eh, that's NTs for you...



Garrett
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12 Dec 2008, 7:58 pm

To be honest there's probably like millions of reason why she might have asked you that, so it beats me.



12 Dec 2008, 8:10 pm

You can ask her why.



Ticker
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12 Dec 2008, 8:21 pm

Perhaps the remark came from the context in which the conversation started? What were you saying to her before what you told us?

Its ironic though because ususally its the Aspie that would worry about whether you could still be friends after telling someone they have ASD.

Have you considered also that she might be an Aspie? Seriously looking back on my childhood and early adulthood I now see that nearly every friend I had and person I dated may have been on the spectrum as they were so much like me. Maybe she is a closet Aspie?



protest_the_hero
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12 Dec 2008, 8:26 pm

I'm not asking her why I'm asking you why lol. And she's the opposite of aspie in too many ways to be aspie. And what were we talking about before? This guy her friend likes who everyone thinks is really weird and I suspected was autistic for many good reasons.



mikebw
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12 Dec 2008, 8:50 pm

She may have thought you could be mad at her for talking badly about the guy her friend likes(For saying he's weird), because it looks like you are coming to his defense(By sympathizing with him).


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EnglishLulu
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12 Dec 2008, 9:11 pm

Well, NTs are quite intuitive.

Aspies come across lots of things that they don't compute, like NT behaviour, non-verbal communication, body language and facial expression and so on.

Aspies, generally speaking, are more used to being very straightforward and expressing things verbally, as opposed to through non-verbal communication.

As a result, I think, sometimes NTs can equally be a bit 'does not compute' about Aspie behaviour, what Aspies say. They may be used to more subtle communication, and may not be used to Aspies who just say stuff straight out.

I think maybe she's an NT who was a bit confused by what was said. You saying something very blunt and straightforward (which maybe she interpreted as you saying something negative). She seemingly wasn't quite sure how to react, and maybe thought you were trying to tell her something negative about you, maybe she thought you were trying to reject her or push her away and tell her that you didn't want to be friends or something.

I think it's probably more about confusion on her part, how to react, than anything else.



pakled
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12 Dec 2008, 9:13 pm

sounds like she really doesn't understand that well, and she's stalling for time. Maybe if you patiently explain. Don't sweat it.



ForsakenEagle
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13 Dec 2008, 12:41 am

mikebw wrote:
She may have thought you could be mad at her for talking badly about the guy her friend likes(For saying he's weird), because it looks like you are coming to his defense(By sympathizing with him).


Yes, she probably thought because you two are supposedly similar that she offended you indirectly. Perhaps a small apology about her confusion to help reassure her no harm done. :)



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14 Dec 2008, 12:38 pm

maybe this person was just baffled by what you said, and didn't know what too say, if she said she still wants to be friends it simply means she likes you even if you are who you are


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aspergian_mutant
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14 Dec 2008, 12:44 pm

protest_the_hero wrote:
blablabla...
Me- I have autism
Brandi- Really? No you don't!
Me- Well, I have asperger's syndrome. It's like I'm slightly autistic.
Brandi- Okay... We're still friends right?
Me- Ya...


she was making light of your autism comment, she seemed to be shrugging it off,
she did not really know what to say but it seems it does not bother her as long at you do not try and make a big issue of it.
at least this is how I am reading it.



aspergian_mutant
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14 Dec 2008, 1:10 pm

protest_the_hero wrote:
blablabla...
Me- I have autism
Brandi- Really? No you don't!
Me- Well, I have asperger's syndrome. It's like I'm slightly autistic.
Brandi- Okay... We're still friends right?
Me- Ya...


Brake down

Me- I have autism
I am feeling a bit insecure, will you accept me because of this or will you reject me, this is why I am a bit odd.

Brandi- Really? No you don't!
I accept you as you are for who you are not your label,

Me- Well, I have asperger's syndrome. It's like I'm slightly autistic.
I do not think you understand, I am still insecure and want to be sure you understand and accept me regardless of my condition.


Brandi- Okay... We're still friends right?

Yes I accept you you fool, now shut up about it and lets stop being so serious and go have some fun.

Me- Ya..
Confused, her response was not what I expected and I am having a hard time understanding her social response and ques.
-----------------------
shut up about it and accept the answer and her for who she is as she seems to want to do with you,
OR
get her some literature to read on the subject and say nothing and let her ask things when she is ready.

just try not to make a big issue of it.
making a big issue of it could drive her away when she may not be interested in the label just your companionship.