It DOES get better...

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Joined: 20 Jul 2010
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18 Mar 2011, 1:25 am

I didn't even realize I was an Aspie until my early 30s (although I am a textbook case). But I read here that a lot of younger Aspies have a lot of trouble with reading expressions, social habits, holding jobs, etc.

I just wanted to say that my ability to function in NT society has gone up about 1000% in the last 18 months since I realized I was an Aspie and began to to take steps to consciously counteract my negative tendencies. It isn't easy, but by watching the NTs around you and formulating rules based on their habits, you can fit in. At least enough to hold a job, at any rate.

Just think of yourself as an alien anthropologist, stationed on earth.

dunbots
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18 Mar 2011, 1:56 am

It doesn't get better if you don't want to (or can't) "fit in" and "improve yourself".

Last edited by dunbots on 18 Mar 2011, 2:31 am, edited 1 time in total.

League_Girl
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18 Mar 2011, 2:13 am

I struggled when I was a kid and was reminded everyday I was different because of the other kids. Now as an adult, I can easily forget about it because it did get better after I finished high school. My dad used to tell me as a teen "You learn as you get older" 'You keep learning from experience" "It gets better when you're older" and he was right. I wonder if that was his experience as well.

I think I only got better thanks to being on the internet because I learn so much about other people and their experience.

cubedemon6073
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18 Mar 2011, 12:45 pm

League_Girl wrote:

I do alot of reading as well. One social skill I've learned is to use I statements never "you" statements or global statements. It puts people on the defensive.

cammyyy
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12 Apr 2011, 7:49 pm

I used to hate school because I didn't fit in, now I realize how unimportant the bunch of stupid hicks at my school is.

Starlight-Supernova
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13 Apr 2011, 7:37 am

I'd say I've gotten WORSE since I have gotten older....

I mean...back at my school days I felt normal compared to people who had other conditions...I still did the things I do but I actually didn't care what people think of it....but then I went to college and one guy really effected me by what he said and ever since I have been very withdrawn and stuff....I wish I could of smacked him where the sun don't shine just for a reference of what he's put me though.

aspie48
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16 Apr 2011, 12:48 pm

it got better for me when i learned how to be agressive without getting caught and how to mess with people. i like manipulating nt's to get what i want.

melly-belly
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09 May 2011, 7:11 am

dunbots wrote:

It doesn't get better if you don't want to (or can't) "fit in" and "improve yourself".

Well let me ask you this....i want it to get better so much but for me if anything its gotten worse. Im so sick of people saying "it will get better" because everyones different and for some of us it wont. Ive tryed not being negative about it but i have given up. I know my life is going to be crappy but im just going to have to live with it. Ive tried to fix it but i cant, this is the way i am. Not everyones horrible life can be fixed, even if u have the most posotive outlook on it.

Fudo
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09 May 2011, 7:22 am

melly-belly wrote:

dunbots wrote:

It doesn't get better if you don't want to (or can't) "fit in" and "improve yourself".

is there a question in there? :lol:

just teasing..

it can get better or worse, IMO it's largely down to what one does or does not do to change.. almost anything's possible, believe it or not, but it seems many people are 'comfortably miserable'.. not that i'm judging them, just observing.
alas, you can't change the world, only yourself.

TenPencePiece
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09 May 2011, 10:46 am

melly-belly wrote:

Well it got better for me from being in an absolutely dire situation with no clear way out, and it took 2 years. How long have you felt like this?

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melly-belly
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09 May 2011, 9:30 pm

Alot longer then 2 years :cry:

TenPencePiece
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10 May 2011, 8:50 am

If your age is correct though, there is still plenty of time for things to get better.
If you believe things will never get better, it's likely that they won't, but in the same breath it's very hard to find the belief or motivation that is often key to elevating yourself out of low periods.

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melly-belly
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10 May 2011, 9:06 am

Yes i am the age that it says. And i agree about the motivation bit. Thats what i am finding so hard about it as i dont know how i can get better.

melly-belly
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10 May 2011, 9:16 am

Also if you wondered about my age because i may sound older or something then u r probably forgetting that most of us here are aspies. And aspies r usualy mature for there age!

TenPencePiece
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10 May 2011, 9:35 am

melly-belly wrote:

Also if you wondered about my age because i may sound older or something then u r probably forgetting that most of us here are aspies. And aspies r usualy mature for there age!

Yeah I know that, I was just making sure. I remember once posting a few times on another forum to do with one of my then-interests when I was 11 or 12 and I don't think they believed me with the way I came across!
But as I said there's plenty of time in your life to make things better, and sometimes you can't rush it. However, being open about it on a forum like this is one step in the right direction.

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SammichEater
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10 May 2011, 3:26 pm

I do actually think I've gotten worse, although I don't think it's my fault. I had a few friends in elementary school, but ever since then I haven't really made any new ones. I'm too different from NT's my age to be friends with them.

And btw, this thread reminds me of this:

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