Just trying to get my emotions out so I can feel better.

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I get depressed a lot- most of it's chemistry- and if something happens that upsets me, it ruins my entire day.

So I was at this college party (read: 16 stupid, drunk men crowding a about three women) and the only reason I'm staying is because I'm completely mesmerized by this one girl.

I know.

She acts kind, nice. I found that suspicious, since she obviously knows plenty about fashion and beauty. We share a class together.

At the party she is, in her own words, "drunk, not slammed". She dances sluttily; at times she is grinding with three men, usually two.

Of course I don't have the courage to dance with her. I'm not afraid of dancing, I like it, but here, it's not a prom. You don't "ask" to dance, you take what you want. I'm not cool with that.

And I'm making this completely sound like I'm in love with her. I'm not, it just didn't make sense. Could someone who has honed her sexuality to a point actually be compassionate? My better judgement said no.

Anyways, I'm watching her, and I'm thinking of things to say. I sort of "learned" how to make small talk today... sort of. But I know what I wanted to say. There's this kid in our class who seems real pissed with me, I don't know why. I was going to ask her if he hated me; of course I don't get the chance.

In retrospect, it seems that she went out of her way to not show affection to me- while she entertains and hits on extremely drunk guys she does not dance with me; as everyone was leaving she literally hugged every one in the room except me.

So, add this to the fact that I bumped into that guy who was inexplicably pissed at me after the party (yes, he was still pissed), whatever good memories I had of this Saturday have been clouded with strife and whining.

... reviewing this it looks like an essay, but I'm just venting. I'll see if it works.

Reasonable venting if you ask me, people can be two face like that. Publicly they are kind and nice, but once good ol alcohol kicks in they feel free to do whatever they want. Even be a dick. In terms of your judgement calls, I would say you were spot on. Not saying she is an very bad person but from what you are saying certainly not one to have a compassionate and romantic relationship with.

Heh reminds me of a girl I went to class with as well. She was pretty, knew the social ins and outs, but wouldn't ya know it she used her relationship with me to just hang in the course by covering for her while she went off and did Lord knows what. Then when she flunks the class she wonders WHY she got dropped, I said, " Well, you were gone for two weeks and the teacher specifically said that you will get dropped automatically if you are gone for that long."

After that I officially came to conclusion that my chances of a healthy relationship with a woman were next to none. If this is the majority of women you'd have to put up with just to find that ONE person, then &^%% that. Just not worth it to me at this point.

And people wonder why I don't want women even though I'm bi...

You guys should look for Aspie girls

lol

i had a friend like that once.

they just desire attention so they befriend everyone.

Problem there is that those can be even rarer when you consider Aspies nature. In other words because we all have strong interests in whatever we like to do, that would mean that in order for her to even bother hanging out with someone like me we would have to have common interests. Otherwise we either bore each other or its just awkward and uncomfortable, compounding the pre-dispition for not having great social skills.

Suffice to say, the whole idea of a "special someone" for everyone is a rarity even in Aspie circles. Of course I would like to be wrong, however I keep being proven right and that doesn't help change my stance.