I should have been born in England. Okay...LONDON!

Post Reply New Topic

I find that the unsophisticated Grammar of Today makes me feel uneasy. Whenever a Family Member uses a "One Size Fits All" approach, while they speak to me, I find myself getting very antsy. The approach that I speak of, is the grating Valley Talk, the sickening sentences that end in Question Marks, and the work, "Totally" which causes me to have minor Flashbacks of things that happened to me in High School, and the girls who spoke the way that everybody speaks, today. I get jumpy, I start to fidget, than I run into my room, sit on my Bed beside my Night Chest, so that my Routemasters are in clear view in relation to where I'm sitting, I go on the Internet and I retreat into the Classic London of my Mind. If I don't retreat into my "Own Little World", as most Psycologists would state about people on the Spectrum, I retreat into the Canada of my Past. The Canada, where everybody spoke the Traditional Canadian Way, or spoke The Queen's English, but with North American words. Than I find little projects to work on, such as doing a bit of Scrap Booking, maybe typing some Short Stories or creating a little Doodle with my Gel Pens. I don't dare to bring it up, because I know that my Family Members will tell me that they will speak however they want to, and that it shouldn't make a difference. I've gathered up all of the Evidence. I was born in the wrong Country. I should have been born in England. Maybe that was a little Sugar-Coated. I should have been born in LONDON! If you want specifics, I should have been born within the sounds of the Bow Bells.

I can assure you that people born within the sound of Bow Bells do not speak the Queen's English, unless you mean a Pearly Queen? (Sorry ended a scentence with a question-mark.) My brother-in-law's a cockney and sometimes I find it easier to translate pure Glaswegian than what he says.

A man goes into a Glasgow baker's shop and says
"Is that a macaroon in the window or a meringue?"

The baker replies "No, it is a macaroon."

"Here y'are, Guv! Cheaper than stolen!"
(Whitecross street market, 1980)

Born Surrey, did my time in London, then Cambridge, now west Suffolk. You don't have to travel far in England to face a new accent and even some new vocabulary. A thirty-mile move east, and I had to learn some new phrases: "On the huh."

I think that I was having a bit of a Tantrum, this Morning.

Perhaps I'm experiencing the Winter Blues, and all the Fiascos that come with them.

It's okay if Non-Family Members speak to me in a young way. It confuses me, when Famliy Members do it. They know me better, than anybody else. I've even told my Mom that Valley Talk drives me crazy, and that I understand Traditional Canadian Grammar, better. She "got it" for a while, but now it's as though she's forgotten everything that I've told her. My Dad's the same way. He only does the Question Talk. It still gets under my Skin. The Bad Grammar of the Cockney sounds cute to me. The Bad Grammar of the Young NA North American sounds obnoxious to me.

Getting off my High-Horse, now...

Why do I find Cockney Grammar cute and Young Mainstream North American Grammar annoying?

I appologise for the little Hissy Fit that I threw, Yesterday. I really do feel like a Londoner trapped in a Canadian/North American Body. I can usually manage these feelings with Pizazz. I feel that I truly belong in London, or at least the London of the Recent Past, as it was, before Red Ken had screwed it up. I get hung up on little things, like Teen Grammar instead of the big things, like Nuculer War.

Was that a hissy fit? Doh <slaps head in realisation>

Seemed far to calm to be a hissy fit.

I know what you mean about feeling you belong in a particular place. I yearn for the mountains of Scotland (and some snow) whilst it's 35 degrees C here in sunny South Africa - the locals will drive for three hours just to see a smattering of snow

Do you have plans to go to London? Perhaps you could study there?

Hope you achieve it, it's a great city, if a little grimy. (Have to disagree over Red Ken though.)

I agree London has screwed up. I feel profoundly paranoid and self-conscious when I have to travel through it on the tube...but then that could just be the tube

Sod it the underground is one of London's few achievements that is worth enduring!

Self conscious on the tube? But nobody stares on the tube, it's like there's an implicit pact to ignore your fellow passengers as much as possible.

What a lot of non-UK people don't realise is that only 3% of people in England speak 'the Queen's English'. London isn't like that either. Maybe some parts, but most not. 'Received English' is mostly just learned by those who become higher up. Tony Blair didn't always speak like he does now, and I'm willing to bet a slew of BBC presenters just learn to use Received Pronunciation when they get the job

Thankyou for all of your responses. Sometimes I get turned off by today's North American Grammar. The Valley Talk and Up-turns turn me off greatly, because the girls who were in my High School spoke that way, and they had Attitude Problems. I assocate that Americanized Grammar with Attitude Problems, because of that. Maybe I'm the one with the Attitude, because I might be too stuffy, according to most Canadians.

I'm from near London and pretty much all the teens in London and the home counties now speak with the "up-turn" that you were talking about. I first heard an Australian speak this way about 13 years ago and it really got on my nerves! I know what you mean. I quite like that valley accent though - like Reese Witherspoon in Legally Blonde.

I wish you could get hold of a copy of the Catherine Tate show and you could see an example of cockneys with attitude.

Instead of 'retiring to your room' to pen some short stories, how about finding a Cockney penpal that you like the sound of?

You'll be able to learn loads about the accent and culture, within the context of traditional correspondence, and if you ever do get to go to London, you'll have somewhere to stay and an authentic tour guide.

(p.s - I know how you feel - I think that I was not white British, but Indian, in my previous life. I want to escape my world for every reason imaginable)