Then it was your depression, not your AS that you thought had ruined it. You can beat depression; you cannot beat AS, and so here's hoping it was your depression causing you to "nearly lose" your "shot".
You're 19. You have depression. It will get better. I was 19 with depression and actually LOST what I thought was my only shot. Granted, I didn't know I had AS then, but the fact still remains. He couldn't handle my AS, or my depression. His loss. He's now back living with his parents, after a string of failed relationships because "they just couldn't get" him.
Safe to say, it wasn't my only shot.
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We are the mutant race!! !! Don't look at my eyes, don't look at my face...