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I need some words of encouragement.. (Updated!)

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HaliaTotheres
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05 Feb 2009, 1:19 pm

No no no, you're fine, no need to apologize :P You didn't do anything wrong. I just know that she's getting a lot of words of advice, even from me, about what to do :) You're just tryin' to help, I didn't mean what I said in a mean way :)



mitharatowen
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05 Feb 2009, 1:30 pm

Well like I said.. I don't want to bash him. I guess I just wanted to be told that I'm not a horrible person for wanting to leave and be happy. Because I feel like one. But if I am then I am and I need to hear it.



HaliaTotheres
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05 Feb 2009, 1:33 pm

You know this could be so much worse, you could have let it go 20 years and in those 20 years you felt you should have left him the whole time. If you want to give it a year or two, I think you're ok with that, but don't let it get to the point that it's ruining your life permanently. You're definately not a bad person, I like you a lot and you're someone I respect here on the forum. This is a huge decision for both of you, and whatever you do, you're in the right, you can't live unhappy forever, it's not fair to you, or him. There will be regrets and tears, but that's natural.



gina-ghettoprincess
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05 Feb 2009, 1:34 pm

Today, I read an article in UK Cosmo about getting divorced young and how it's nothing to be ashamed of and it's better to get out instead of staying when you don't want to. It made me think of this.


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anna-banana
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05 Feb 2009, 1:55 pm

mitharatowen wrote:
It's been many times and there's always been one last try..


if more than 3 then I say go ahead with the divorce. no point wasting your time on someone who doesn't learn by repetition. he's obviously not predisposed to be properly marriage-trained.


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bball
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05 Feb 2009, 2:23 pm

HaliaTotheres wrote:
You know this could be so much worse, you could have let it go 20 years and in those 20 years you felt you should have left him the whole time. If you want to give it a year or two, I think you're ok with that, but don't let it get to the point that it's ruining your life permanently. You're definately not a bad person, I like you a lot and you're someone I respect here on the forum. This is a huge decision for both of you, and whatever you do, you're in the right, you can't live unhappy forever, it's not fair to you, or him. There will be regrets and tears, but that's natural.

yes its a very huge decision! sometimes with big desicions like this its best to have some time if things might be better. sometimes i am too quick to decide things so i have to remember this! if he is not cheating on you or hitting you maybe you can work it out! i hate to see good people go through that! i dont think you're a jerk but i dont know what he does either. of course its up to you you know whats going on more than me! :)



MR_BOGAN
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05 Feb 2009, 4:27 pm

mitharatowen wrote:
Well like I said.. I don't want to bash him. I guess I just wanted to be told that I'm not a horrible person for wanting to leave and be happy. Because I feel like one. But if I am then I am and I need to hear it.


Your mind seems made up that you want to leave him and the only reason you are not doing it because of low self esteem. :?

I actually think you are more of a horrible person for dragging this out, all you are doing is making it more slow and painful.



mitharatowen
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05 Feb 2009, 4:38 pm

Awww :(

Well thanks alot bogan lol



MR_BOGAN
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05 Feb 2009, 5:35 pm

^I don't think you are a horrible person, because you feel bad about it you obviously care for him.

ok I'm keeping out of this.



ford_prefects_kid
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05 Feb 2009, 5:43 pm

It's always hard to break it off with someone you're close to and care about. It always takes me a few months at least- and those are just two-year relationships, not marriages. It's harder to think about what's beneficial for both of you in the long-term when you're confronted with the idea of the other person's immediate emotional reaction.

I don't think anyone can blame you for being hesitant about it. I don't know too much about your situation, but various posts you've made makes it seem like you're really not happy with him.



mitharatowen
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05 Feb 2009, 5:54 pm

MR_BOGAN wrote:
^I don't think you are a horrible person, because you feel bad about it you obviously care for him.

ok I'm keeping out of this.


Naaah I was just giving you a hard time :P . I appreciate any input, really. Thank you.