scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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5 which is excellent.
i went to an AS conference today and by the afternoon the carpet (which was leaf patterns) and all the fixtures and the burght lights in the conference room were playing havoc with me. my eyes just dart from pattern to pattern and i stim frantically in unfamiliar situations - back twits and shulder shrugs. i was terrified today - but i went and i kicked a goal.

i rarely leave my home except for art related matters, so this was a big deal for me.
i am exhausted but give myself a 5 because i am so glad i went and hear isabelle henault and her stuff on AS and sexuality.
i get a bit of exteem from breaking out of groundhog day here and there.

1

Okay but a little bummed out. My brother made me stay behind while he and his wife went to track our step-dad down and make him explain himself. I wanted to help. Plus, his oldest son and I have a score to settle and I woke up looking forward to shutting his big mouth myself. If I knew how to get there I would have went anyway.

-100000000000000

I found out that my friend stopped talking to me, and blocked me from instant messaging (which she never went on that much to begin with). And I got no explanation what I could have done, if I did anything at all, to cause her to do this. It just happened.

5, got my first uni acceptance.

^Sorry to hear that guys.



I almost feel guilty saying that I'm a +5 today, actually fairly close to a +6. It is what it is though, so it's cool.

-10

This whole thing with my step-dad leaving and the thought of possible violence erupting has turned me into a paranoid, nearly psychotic monster. I don't want that to happen. I need help.

9.9- Yesterday was awesome! The "Heroes for autism" show updated their site and it has my name on it! They call the artists, "the nation's most celebrated artists" basically calling me a famous artist. That's why when you click on my name on this site it says occupation Famous Artist and professional speaker in the making. Just remember I was accepted into a lot of other major shows that hundreds if not thousands of disabled artists apply to. Only a tiny few get in. Like the Heroes for autism site only 24 artists get in and autistic people from around the country tried to get it. It was a juried show, as are the other ones I got into. I didn't realize I was that good since its just colored pencil (well, mainly I do other mediums too but am the most experienced in colored pencil). I also found out that one of our friends has this contact that will get me into autism conferences nationwide and mental health conferences they pay your expenses and he said a lot of them pay $10,000 for a 30 minute speech. My mom gave me a great idea what to do with the money. Give up half of it (well, since I am becoming famous I will as a speaker as well so I'll be making $100 BILLION OK maybe not that much but a lot more than I'm making now on Social Security) to the conferences (like mental health organizations, autism organizations, and for my art I would like to donate money to different animal organizations). When all this becomes reality, I am also going to write a book about my experiences being autistic and schizophrenic and doing all these speeches and art shows. I want to inspire people and give them hope.

I also want to talk to teachers and schools about bullying and for them to change their policy. I want if its a physical attack on another student to be treated as a criminal case as assault. If they take bullying that seriously, then it should cut it down. When I was in junior high and high school I was constantly bullied and I don't want other people with disabilities to deal with that. That's mainly who they pick on. And whats sad, is when I was bullied the teachers blamed ME because I was "different" and I got suspended for crying or reacting to when someone physically hurt me. So, I am going to spread disability awareness at the schools so the teachers won't tell the disabled or "different" person that its their fault for being bullied.

The main thing I am down about is mom's health. Recently she had a near death experience and I predicted it before it happened. I feel responsible and guilty. I saw it in my dreams that her back was going to be severely infected after surgery. One of the doctors said that his mother just died of the same thing that my mom has which is MRSA. In fact my mom's infection was so bad, they had to do emergency surgery on her back. So that means she had 2 surgeries on her back.

4

Fighting another NASCAR driver 'attachment'

Oh, and David Ragan isn't doing so well in the race at Atlanta Motor Speedway right now.

3. My mother thinks I have a hormonal imbalance and I have just realised what it probably is and i looked it up on wiki and it matches my symptoms quite well. I guess the next thing to do is go to the doctor and tell her, perhaps she will put me on some pills. I dont know.

Around 2, which is ok, going to bed soon
The last couple of years have been so up and
down, its just been real hard being alone after a
long relationship, thats what started alot i think.
But finally things changed a little. I thought i was going
to just give up but i`ve made some changes and stuff
instead, and i`m slightly optimistic (thats crazy, i`m
usually never slightly optimistic ) that i wont get these
terrible lows that has come and gone on a regular basis.
Sure `ll i have good and bad days, but i`m slightly optimistic
when it comes to the terrible days

4

Feel alright for a change.

I'm around a 5, I just feel good now that the day's over

-2

Disappointed and confused.

2 It's raining it's pouring....

-

I'm really pissed off! I have been getting crap and abuse from people everywhere for no God dammed REASON! I get called "b***h" by people, just by them passing me by. Why? People around my apartment complex want to pick a fight or tease me, and I havn't met a dam one of them till then! Customers at work are more rude than ever! Some of them treat me like miss tardo of the universe, others act like cheated victims, and some just come by to cheew me out!

I'm tired of people acting like they are $#%^ victims, when I don't do s**t to them! I got bullied by fourteen people in world of warcraft trade chat! What's next?! Point a gun to my head and tell me how being gun pointed is my fault?! *Screams*