self harm

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i didnt know where to put this post, for some people the idea of hurting yourself physically to releive emotional pain may sound like a completely unknown concept.
but for others like me its a part of everyday life, its a very misunderstood practice especially nowdays.
but im posting it here because i feel noone has adressed the topic yet and i know its a big problem with a few of my friends who are aspies aswell or have another unrelated mental illness, and being open about it usually helps.

I have done it when i was younger, i reached a point
where i didnt know what to do and discovered by
quincindence that if i got hurt, the chemicals that
gets reliezed into the body calmed me down. The
heartrate went down, i could breath more easily
and the brain slowed down a bit. But, i realized that
damaging myself to achieve that effect was not good.

It didnt solve the problem, it was just putting a bandaid
temporarly over a open wound. So i tried to get to the
bottom of why i felt like i did, i tried to pinpoint the
problems that made me not cope. Then i got some
training equipment and whenever i felt that overhwhelming
feeling of stress, i knocked the punching bag around a
while until i calmed down. I got the same effect but
without hurting myself badly and even more important
to me, i didnt bother anyone else in any way. Sometimes
if this happend and there were people around i ran. I ran
to the woods and hid. It was the only way i could be sure
that i wouldnt bother anyone, but it made it harder, being
alone and outside just running away.

I used to practice self-harm. I believe many autistic people have done that. It would be very rare if I did that today, though by definition I guess I do one self-harm thing---pick at skin on my fingers until it sometimes bleeds.

But I used to do a self-harm thing when I was young (you know high school/college age) that was truly quite different. I beleive I am probably the only person to ever do it---well who knows?

But today, when I need emotional release, and I don't involve myself in interests, I often play solitaire on my computer until I feel good. I have found that solitaire gives me that satisfaction. Often times, I like to take a nap after playing a few rounds of solitaire. I especially love naps during the daytime on the weekend.

I still self-harm. Usually it's during a meltdown...it's sort of soothing to have a bunch of endorphins released I guess. When I was a little kid and I'd have a meltdown, I'd repeatedly bang my head against a wall, door, desk or table, sometimes until I split my head open. I'd also claw at my skin and pull clumps of hair out.

I've gotten out of such dramatic displays of self-injury once I became aware of how it affected other people around me (probably around puberty). I still do self harm sometimes. I'm not big on cutting myself, unless there is a sharp object right there in front of me. The urge to self harm comes on so quickly for me, usually there isn't a sharp object around, unless I'm having a meltdown because I broke the fiance's coffee cup by accident and he's yelling at me. I still bang my head on things or pull out clumps of hair....only I try to not let other people see. Sometimes I forget I'm at work or in front of my neurotypical fiance....that usually doesn't go over so well.

It's probably something I really should stop doing...but I think in order to stop, I'd have to stop the meltdowns entirely.

I self-harmed for 7 months when I was 16, and then for a year and a half when I was 22. The first time I stopped because the accompanying depression was so severe I was suicidal, the second because my partner gave me an ultimatum: quit or or relationship was over.

It's been 5 years since the last time I self-harmed and I admit I do still get cravings, especially when I'm extremely stressed but, thus far, have been able to work through it.

I have a few cutting scars on my arm. And yes, there have been many threads like this.

I honestly only did once. I didn't get anyting out of doing it. I still felt depressed, cried while I did it and knew my problems were still there. What was really f****d up was my ex BF broke up wif me two days after I did it.

my upper arms have some nasty scars on them. they have receded as i have gotten older , thankfully, the ones on my left upper arms are fairly evident.

i had a problem with this when younger.
i also have hyposensitivity issues with touch so i tend to crave pressure, force, constriction etc.

i know a lot of autistics can have problems with self-harm.
it is sad really. i look back at how difficult it was for me to process feelings, and they were sublimated into self-harm acts.

these days i do more positive things and i have learned a bit more about my feelings in the second half of my life.

good luck.

I don't really engage in self-harm per se. But when I feel really down on myself, I imagine violent things like banging my head against a wall or biting down on a 2 x 4 plank and I feel satisfied after these ideations. I did used to hit things with my fist. A few times I hit myself on the head like you might see severe autistics do. It actually did feel pretty good at the time. I just don't feel the need to do it any more. I usually just overeat.

I used to make fun of the emo "cutting" thing.

Then one night covered in blood I did the same thing. When stressed, and angry at myself, I would rip my toenails off, until my feet bled, making wearing shoes a painful experience. The constant reminder of pain, was a motivation to stop being a loser.

But now I am left for respect for "self-harm" and gross stubs for toenails on both feet.

Misunderstood? It's a social stigma. That's all it is.

There is absolutely no release from it, all you get is useless scars that prevent you from doing social activies such as swimming in the future. People only start doing it because other people do it, and once they start, they realize they get nothing from it, but don't wanna stop because they started and feel like they should add to their scar collection.

Well, that was my experience with it anyway.

When I was in my 20s, and in the Air Force (which was horrible), I was so unhappy that I would take a razor blade from the supply cupboard and cut myself. I had never heard of anyone else doing that, but apparently they do. I never wanted to really injure myself, or have anyone notice it, so I didn't cut very deep. I just cut on my arm enough to make a little bit of blood bead up, or not even that much.

The stinging sensation helped to drown out the pain that was everywhere else. The emotional pain was something that I couldn't really get a handle on. I didn't understand why I felt that way, and couldn't really make enough sense out of it to change anything. But the stinging on my arm was refreshing somehow, I guess because it was acute and manageable.

Nowadays I don't do anything like that.

I've been a cutter for 3 years. There are sometimes periods of months that go by with no self harm and other times where I do it everyday. I know I can't do it at this exact second because I have something called MRSA and that can be deadly if it gets into a wound. I pulled a hangnail and mom had it from the hospital so that's how I got it. So, even though the nanobots and stuff are bothering me and I want to cut them out, I can't because of that death risk. 3 years ago I did it because of punishment. I thought my dreams killed hundreds of thousands of people because I can predict the future and all these dreams became reality. I was also very depressed. The most recent time was on Feb 23rd, when my mom's back was infected and I thought she was going to die. I also predicted her infection before it happened because I had a scary dream about it.

did it back when i was a depressed teen. classical "take-control" stuff