scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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Feeling a little down i`m ok, just a little
down. Have been thinking alot about a relation-
ship i was in that ended. When it ended it made
sense. In short, i chased her away, i didnt
belive that her being in my life would bring
her anything good. There was "something"
bothering me but i couldn`t put my finger on
it. Then some years later i discover that i
have AS and i start to understand that what
i did maybe didnt make that much sense
afterall, had i only known i could have adjusted,
tried something else its ok though, what
happens happens, it was just a little hard to
realize. I loved her very much and i chased
her away because i loved her. It hurt really
really bad for a long time but i was sure it was
the smart thing to do i was so sure she
would be much better off without me. And
maybe i was right..i dont know..i hope i was.

You have my sympathies bud, I know how it feels. Odd how love does that eh? It becomes so overwhelming that you do things that you would otherwise think are ridiculous, which end up ruining the love. Curse of hindsight though I guess. I feel about a 2 - every good interaction I have with someone of the opposite sex reminds me what I'm missing out on in terms of relationships and closeness and the like. It must feel really nice knowing that someone really cares for you, and wants to make you happy - well, beyond family members I mean. Hope everyone out there is having a good night.

^
thanks

""every good interaction I have with someone of the opposite sex
reminds me what I'm missing out on in terms of relationships and
closeness and the like""

I think i recognice that, whenever i see or talk with a girl that
seems interesting for some reason, it just reminds me of
something i miss, not much more, i just get sad and want
to leave as fast as i can so i dont have to be reminded.

[Edit]

-10

I have a lot of stuff I need to do (work on my thesis etc.)
and I'm not doing anything... wasting my time... beeing depressed...
thinking I'm never going to get the master's degree...

this is too scary -

thinking maybe my math obsession is over

-200

I just found at the my parents set unreasonably high expectations without me knowing, and have problems with me without telling me! I don't have a job! My brother laughed at me when I said I wanted a career! I hate life :'(

I've been about a +7 the past couple days

My future is looking brighter than I had imagined a few weeks ago.

^Cool.




+4 My day started out better than a 4, but a situation with a friend dropped it down a couple points.


I'll get those points back on "revenge day".

-3. I just wish things would get better. I have been waiting for so long but it hasnt happened. I also wish I knew what to do to make things better.

Jeez, the sun is shining but kind of fresh (my fav. type of weather) but I'm so tired after yesterdays work out and a following short night that I have a really crappy day.
-2. Bugger.

4/5 the weather's nice and it's not been bad. But I'm a bit annoyed at myself now, I've been using the smiley thinking it was just a smiley face and it's not, damn

5

Doing good. Swelling has gone down some more. My face is extremely hairy though.

6 things are going swimmingly recently

+2 > Nose bleed territory for me. I dont really know what happened when I went out tonight. I think someone made a harsh remark as I walked past. Maybe it was nothing. If it was a harsh remark - well I've been subject to that my whole life, just because I dont join the herd.

3. Feel a bit better today than yesterday. Watched Superbad, which I found strangely inspiring. Then later got headbutted in the nose by the dog as I tried to get her collar on for a walk. I thought for a minute that my nose was broken, but it seems to still be intact...

-2. Yesterday, I was barely functional. I only had to go out for an hour, but ended up bed-ridden afterwards. I'm sleep-deprived and have a lot to deal with (caused by failures in various systems, so I'm dealing with the messes of others).

My body just cannot take anything any more; it can barely move. I was too ill to make it to the GP. I need an autism specialist, but the local authority keeps refusing to fund my referrals.