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Joined: 28 Oct 2007
Age: 49
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,190
Location: Southeast Texas

14 Apr 2009, 7:00 pm

Back story: On another forum, there's this nice person I've talked to briefly in the past. Who, after a few emails, told me that it felt akward, so I something like "Okay, no problem, just don't answer" and didn't bother them anymore. Then, today, I think it's all cool by now, and emailed a question. Leaving out the question part, this is what I got back:

Quote:

finally, to be blunt, as you so seem to want me to be, i've found you creepier since our initial conversation, whereas in that i just though you a bit unstable. your sudden outburst at me and nuking the conversation where it lay just made me a bit wary, whereas lately that setback has felt more justified. i've been biting my tongue, but since you brought it up, frankly, your comments make me uncomfortable. you never said anything when i was talking to you in PM that made me feel you were hitting on me, but your comments have felt a bit invasive at times. i've tried to be a good sport, but i feel like you oogle me a little and the vibes i get are just... uncomfortable ones. i can't help how you may feel or view me, but whereas i feel others comment jokingly, yours somehow don't seem to be. i can't change how you may view me, or how you see me, but i would like to request that when commenting, err on the side of caution. regardless of whether or not you do, or intended to seem such, it makes me feel like you have some sort of fantasy involving me that isn't terribly obscured. i've had other ***** note this in passing conversation as well, so i'm pretty sure it's not just me.

I can think of nothing I've said that would be taken this way. And no, I have absolutely no interest in this person at all. I certainly don't fantasize about them.

I've been all depressed all day because of this, even though (at least some of) the other people there seem to like me.
Just one of those f*****g AS BS, how am I ever supposed to learn days.

Lex_Talionias
Hummingbird

Joined: 11 Apr 2009
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 18

14 Apr 2009, 7:43 pm

i go to pains to avoid that kinda s**t, people can be so stupid it make my eyes bleed to see the stuff they do. basically ur best course of action is to be really offended, tell them they got it all wrong and you are hurt deeply. if they don't know already tell them about ur condition and explain to them u have trouble socialising. I'm assuming that your presence here means u have a mental condtion.

In this situation you are obviously talking to a person who is "mainstream" your not and that freaks them out as they aren't use to that. They have imagined that you have imagined that there is something between you two. so being nice might make them think you are trying to salvage the imaginary romance that they imagined in the first place, being aggressive might make them think you think there was something and are angry coz it ended. Your best course is to be really hurt, which should be easy because you already seem to be.

this seems to have all come from the other person trying to read in-between the lines and you not actually having anything in-between the lines.

zghost
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Joined: 28 Oct 2007
Age: 49
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,190
Location: Southeast Texas

14 Apr 2009, 7:54 pm

Quote:

this seems to have all come from the other person trying to read in-between the lines and you not actually having anything in-between the lines.

Damn, that is like the best way to put it that I've ever seen. Exactly.

Yeah, I'm trying to hang with the normal people. Can't explain their thought process though.

AgentCROCODILE
Blue Jay

Joined: 16 Sep 2008
Age: 136
Gender: Male
Posts: 94

14 Apr 2009, 8:31 pm

Aww man! That's gotta suck mate! I think many who have autism have a problem where we say things that are true, or say it in a way others find rude.

I have that problem a lot and it sucks.

Perhaps you can find some AS friends - I have had more success with high functioning autism and Asperger syndrome people because they don't care how I say it - they are only worried about what I am saying.

I am like that. Someone told me that neurotypicals worry about how things are said as well as what is being said.

Even though I am not too good at thinking like this I hope it helps you.

zghost
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Joined: 28 Oct 2007
Age: 49
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,190
Location: Southeast Texas

14 Apr 2009, 8:35 pm

I get what you mean, thanks.
I just had to come b***h to the people who understand.
I try, damnit, I try.

AgentCROCODILE
Blue Jay

Joined: 16 Sep 2008
Age: 136
Gender: Male
Posts: 94

14 Apr 2009, 8:37 pm

zghost wrote:

I get what you mean, thanks.
I just had to come b***h to the people who understand.
I try, damnit, I try.

That's a good habit if it works for you. Unfortunately it doesn't work for me.

But the point is it works for you. That's a good thing. Better than not bitching about it mate. If you don't b***h about things than nothing gets solved.

richardbenson
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Joined: 30 Oct 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,553
Location: Leave only a footprint behind

14 Apr 2009, 10:09 pm

rule #1 if its a girl your talking to shes just flirting online wich means shes seeing how many guys she can bag. if you would like to meet someone craigslist is the way to go. meeting in real life is alot better than online, also while this might be good advice its untested because ive never done it :lol:

_________________
Winds of clarity. a universal understanding come and go, I've seen though the Darkness to understand the bounty of Light

AgentCROCODILE
Blue Jay

Joined: 16 Sep 2008
Age: 136
Gender: Male
Posts: 94

14 Apr 2009, 10:16 pm

richardbenson wrote:

That does seem quite logical though :lol:

zghost
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Joined: 28 Oct 2007
Age: 49
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,190
Location: Southeast Texas

15 Apr 2009, 11:09 am

Honestly, I'm not even positive what sex this person is. I think it's a guy, but not 100% sure.

Normally I'd deal with this better, but I have a lot of other stuff on my mind right now taking up all my "ability to deal", so this just hit me really hard. Overload, I guess.

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