This illusion... Is mine?

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I've been hearing people calling out my name... I look around, and see no one around me. I hear people mumbling to each other, and I can't understand what they are saying... I feel like everything is an illusion that I created, and I am to blame for everything that happens. But I am not sure of anything existing. Everything is wavering, like this whole dream will burst at the seams, leaving behind the harsh black of non-existence. Something is controlling me, like I'm a marionette, controling my thoughts, making me do all these terrible things. Can I control this illusion, bending the fabric of existence? Or has it already been bent to what I expect it to be? Sometimes, I blink, and suddenly its an hour later, and I remember nothing... Is this more evidence that the dream is dying? Is time wavering, like everything else? Am I only a shell, hollow inside, being controlled by an outside source? Is this reality only a figment of who I perceive myself to be?

Could be.

well it's not my illusion.

Wow I love your post...it inspires me. Out of hundreds of billions of lifeless planets we are here to contemplate this vast emptiness. Sublime. Thank-you for your post and embrace your doubts.

Ummm, is this for real?

If so, get help. I only took a few psych classes in college, but I see disassociation, schizophrenia, and episodes of fugue.

If it's just creative writing? I like it. You've got some good stuff nailed there.

esse est percipi

I have auditory hallucinations from time to time, usually thinking someone is calling my name. I also have a lot of tintinitus which I can ignore most of the time.
You reached out to ask us questions so you hope we are real. I know I'm real. I choose to believe that you are more than pixels on a screen even though that is the only way I have to perceive you.

your not "bending the fabric of existence" thats for sure.

maybe you should look into it. take care