perplexed, and HURT

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7 of 9,

This unit is trying to function outside of it's field of ability. It has two roles, advocating for others, and playing the system to respond as needed.

As for being your advocate, the meeting without you is for the admission, I have no idea what to do, and seeking guidence from others who know you.

She is twice out of her mental range, and knows it, one is, not everyone is chemist/neuroscientist, The Lab Pet is quite a rare being, so for that part she is trying to let other chemist/neuroscientists lead.

I do not see, "If you cross me you fail." I see, "No one has any idea." She is the best they have, an older model near the end of it's service life. An older Diplomat rather than a newly minted type who perhaps took a class covering Autism.

you are the most important client they have ever had, the pride of University of Alaska.

yes, someone to understand you would be nice. The Inventor Loves The Lab Pet, but there are still gaps in understanding. Love does at least smooth over gaps. There is no Alaskan State Department of Love, and if there was, it would be a low bidder generic contract.

They are trying to do the best they can within the limits imposed, such as what it is possible for them to understand. That is compounded by stacks of forms that have to be correct and approved. This she can do, will do, everything that can be done, but unlike a good dog, who of course could fully understand the Lab Pet, they will never.

I understand that The Lab Pet is, and wants to be dealt with, but most fail to have the mind and eyes to see the space in which you live. your world is alien and invisable to them.

Even as you mention, proper behavior in dealing through the Department is alien to them. Dear Chairman, Dean, even Professor, but never Bob. Letters to Department heads should never be signed, Love and Kisses, Beth.

A dog would treat the Department Alpha with proper deferance.

We can never explain these things to the world, for it is not their world.

I feel your frustration with having to leave the lab, or home and cat, strange places, other people, no numbers clearly designating their function and role. We call them, most people. Repairs and upgrades have been on back order for longer than their service life.

The basic problem, you want a dog, they can help get one, but lack the ability to directly communicate with you.

Second problem is the Valproic Acid Project, a full time mind job, very important for the University.

Read the list, Not Good At Multitasking. The Advocate is not a support system, a dog is, too complex for The Lab Pet to do all at once, or at least well, without serial meltdowns.

I see a mis communication, Advocate sounds like someone to take your part, not so, for then they would also work on Valporic Acid, see? Impossible. Not to you, but for you to the hidden machinery of State. Goal, a piece of paper that turns into a dog.

I feel the same about a part for the Powis Model 31, odered and wrong part sent, new one, correct, on the way, but I wait, and whole systems sit, waiting for 4 grams of plastic.

Serial humans, local sales, order processing in California, UPS shipping, and I wait, petting a cold and lifeless machine, and thinking dark thoughts. I wanted joy, stolen, robbed! But they know nothing of my emotional life with machines, to them it is just a machine. Waiting.

It is by will alone I set my mind in motion to stop the illusion of time and be everywhere in an instant, then to create futures that will draw the Universe to that which already is, when time starts again.

A wise and wonderful dog you share life with, and what name calls your future friend?

Stories draw things into being.

We are not like them, but we can be kind.

Good luck with getting your service dog, I think that you should not get a service tarantula. I have horrible visions of the thing growing too large before chasing you and your cat out of the house and biting you when you try to get back inside.

If a service tarantula grows to the size of a German Shepherd dog and gets out of control, you might need a large rolled up newspaper or a pair of 1 meter long tongs to deal with it and keep it under control.

I once had a dream that I had a tarantula the size of a medium sized dog which I was walking on a dog lead. It did not frighten me it was just a bit odd.

Try to get the valproic acid project to work well, I think that you need to get yourself in print to help advance yourself. So try to get something which you can write up into a paper.

Just a guess: possibly she sees you as fundamentally incompetent to make decisions, and views your academic abilities as some isolated splinter skill that doesn't change her view, just like she wouldn't see you as competent if you could instantly tell whether a number was prime, but you couldn't go shopping or make a cup of tea.

I think you have to find out what she thinks her role is and what she thinks your capacity to make decisions is. If she thinks you don't understand, she won't tell you. Either your therapist or your friend who was invited to these sessions would have to ask.

What influence does this advocate have over your access to future support? Who employs her? Could you write a letter to her employer or supervisor? I propose being very nice, saying you only want to use as much of their resources as you absolutely need, so they can help others, and the advocate underestimates your abilities. But as an autistic person, you don't know how to tell her tactfully. You tried to tell her, it didn't work, and you worry if you insist, she will see it as rude.

Or you could tell your advocate that you want to use her help as little as possible, so she can help others as well. It is a polite lie not to tell her she is domineering, but if she retires soon anyway, and if she's worked like this until now, you probably can't change her anyway, and it's not worth the fight. So tell the polite lie, and see whether that gets her to do only what you ask her to do.

That would be unbelievably cool! And I'm into Neuroscience too, it's very interesting. To me it seems as though AS is very much tied in with the frontal lobes, although I'm probably very ignorant at this stage of my education.

I hope things sort themselves out soon

My experiences have been similar, I had 5 minutes of stupidity asking for help, found out they were very incompetant manipulative idiots then spent the next, now coming up for 4 years(!) trying to get away from them grr. Ive now had to hire a new advocate (autism outreach worker) to fight off the therapists

Lesson to learn: whatever happens we are better off trying to cope on our own and find solutions ourselves, we are not as incompetant as those around us and never ask for help.

7 of 9 reporting back to home planet. Thank you, inhabitants - aka: the voice of reason in the din of babble.

I wish for a Powis Model 31 to give to my friend and I'll barter: One slightly-overused advocate in exchange - fair trade?

I worked hard on my Valproic acid project - thank you, woodpecker. I know the powers of VPA and maybe someday someone will listen. But on the path to Valproic acid I found the antagonist, which is similiarly fascinating! Okadaic acid (which I still have difficulties spelling). Okadaic acid is a neurotoxin found in shellfish - the cure! Ok acid has the capacity to regenerate nerve fibers but the catch: it's toxic. I'll work out the details later.

Thank you, Gromit. Splinter skills, which equate to 'being gifted' are also like a pesky sliver in one's finger - need a band-aid. But I do try. Oh, advocate is in Spain and I'm miraculously doing just fine without her. Hmmm. lotusblossom: I totally know what you mean....almost harder to explain to them the dilemma than to deal with it all by yourself. One of those DIY jobs.

sunshower: Wow! Good your pursuing Neuroscience - there's at least 2 more on Wrong Planet who are. Look at mirror neurons for Autistic Spectrum Disorders.

I'm working on Project Service Dog....Guard Tarantula is looking good too. Don't know how tarantula would like Alaska, but I'll work out the details later. There would be one plus w/ the tarantula: In my laboratory building, 3rd floor, some of the neuroscientists use frogs for modeling. BUT....the just some of the crickets that feed the frogs escaped. And they're thriving. In the ladies room there are crickets chirping since there's always water source and crickets are resourceful.

Tarantulas eat crickets. Solves that problem. Good tarantula. Plus V8, my robot, needs a buddy.

Labpet, good to see you back,

Look after your self and do not let the work get on top of you.

I was rather shocked when I looked up Okadaic acid, in J. Am. Chem. Soc. 1997, vol 119, page 8381 there is a total synthesis for this carboxylic acid. It is so big and complex, please find a smaller molecule which has the same activity. I like my molecules to be cheaper and a little smaller.

Valproic acid is a nice sized thing, it looks like it should be easy to make in bulk.

I guess that you are having a holiday away from the advocate in spain, enjoy it ! Just hope and pray that she does not bring you any tacky holiday gifts like a straw donkey back for you.

Woodpecker

PS. I have avoided eating too much chocolate this easter, I have had less than most years.

Hi LabPet

I had to post just to say your advocate is a menace and should be locked up. Have you read The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo? I wouldn't go quite far as she does (your advocate isn't actually a deliberate abuser, just an accidental one), but these people can be monsters.

You're obviously so intelligent, funny and interesting, she should be paying *you* for your company. I wish I knew you.

Been feeling my loneliness acutely today but you've cheered me up. I was a scientist once, then I moved to Cornwall (UK) where reason is banned.

Pauline

Thank you, Pauline555 from Cornwall. Wrong Planet inhabitants ought to ban that loneliness!

Okadaic acid is my new 'thing.' It's as a reciprocal to Valproic acid and has potential in the Neurosciences and can act, among other properties, as a nerve growth factor. However, it's a neuro-toxin - side-effect. I'll work out the details later.

Lab Pet is doing quite well, but BUSY....too busy. Upcoming finals and working in the lab. I'll be back to (ab)normal soon enough.