Time for Divorce #2

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You're absolutely stunning. And your son loves you. You have a job. Sounds like in the end you'll be a lot happier than your husband. Just don't let LEARNED HELPLESSNESS get in your wonderful way.

Hi Alone, I'm on my third husband and am very glad I did leave the other two. The first turned out to be an alcoholic as*hole. The second was a decent guy, but very judgemental about me. The third....well, he's perfect for me. Very kind and accepting. Loves all the warts of my Asperger's along with the beauty marks.

I had a small child when I left husbands #1 (her father) and #2, and it was difficult and scary to be on my own, but far and away the best decision. I know life seems insane right now, and you're hurting badly, but if I may be so frank, I think divorce is the right thing for you to do. Your husband isn't any good for you. I really do believe that you (we all) are better off alone than with someone who undermines us.

Overall I just want to give you some sense of support...as another 40-something autistic woman, and an example of going through a number of frogs to find that prince, who didn't mind that I already had a history and a child. (He was a better father to her than her biological dad ever was.) And of surviving single motherhood. I think you're right that the freedom from trying to please your partner will be very exhilarating.

Thank you Saja, Greentea and Praetor2379 for your input. This is my 2nd marriage. My first became addicted to Meth and was sleeping around. I married him at 17. I married the 2nd at the age of 27. I do spend have the moral support of my neurotypical coworkers...even my boss. What worries me most is that I have been a diabetic since the age of 10, so my medical costs are quite high and I wouldn't have insurance since my income is less than 1500 per month....I am going to try to get SSI. Hopefully, I won't seem too high functioning. I have many limitations due to my Aspergers. I do not answer the phone, or the door unless I am expecting visitors, I only drive in the small town I live in, I can't work in an office setting, I can't do heavy lifting or fine motor type work because I have some damage to my spinal cord from a herniated disk. So maybe!

I have also been married twice and my second marriage broke down just over two years ago, although we lived in the same house for 4 months after agreeing to separate while I waited for somewhere else that I could go and live.

I decided to leave both marriages - my first husband turned out to be a compulsive liar and my second husband was verbally and emotionally abusive to me. The final straw in that marriage was when he, without any apparent reason, stopped talking to me. After almost a month of that I couldn't cope any more and confided in some friends and a minister. They helped me to see that I had value and didn't have to live my life walking on eggshells all the time.

Emotionally, I was all over the place for a long time. I was either really high or really low. I went to counselling once a week for about a year, and that was enormously helpful to me. I didn't want to keep making the same mistakes about men and marriage that I had in the past, and decided it was time to learn from my mistakes rather than repeat them.

I've been on my own for two years now and I enjoy my independence and being able to do what I want, when I want. I have got to know myself a lot better and to be more relaxed and confident in myself.

Take time and take care of yourself. It does sound as if you and your son will be much happier in the long run, and you have workmates who care about you.

Hugs!! !

Thank you Marcia,
I am feeling more confident after having so many wonderful replies to my posts!