scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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Well I know for me yesterday was actually a pretty decent day, largely because I got to spend a lot of time at work talking to the coworker that I have a crush on. That was nice.

- 4. Now I am worried because my dog is unwell again.

-5. i'm sad about certain circumstances in my life. I'm really feeling alone too. I just wish I could be surrounded by someone who truly loves me, and I love back...

I am furious.

If someone has a problem with me, they need to bring it up with me. I let it go the first time, but I'm not going to this time. To call my parents and tell them things I haven't even been doing, all the while pretending everything is fine when around me, is not going to work.

How f*****g dare he! I asked a week ago and he said everything was fine and that he had no complaints about it, and oh, stay longer, you don't need to move out so soon. But he's calling my father and telling him I'm such a slob and everything is a mess. I've done more cleaning than he ever has.

Of course, my parents believe him over me; he's older, and they've always blamed me of being irresposible and stupid and this was just all it took to bring it to fruitation. They've withdrawn any and all support.

That bloody stupid ignorant f*****g bastard. I'm so angry. And if I go back to the house and say something, I'll just get into even more trouble.

I have moved from surprised to ticked to sobbing hysterically to the point where I'm at now, which is complete anger. I don't normally get all the way here.

He's no godfather. He's a worthless excuse. f**k it; if I get into more trouble, I do, but he deserves to be chewed out.

1 right now I'm a one my husband left me at home with Jake who's sick and won't stop crying to go to hooters. I hope he finds a girlfriend while he's out right now I don't think i'll let him back in.

about 5

Nothing really special happened today so...ehh...I'm just bored and suffer from acid reflux...I guess I'm feeling ...average

-10 like usual. Yes, there are times where I am very happy, almost manic when I am with my friends but that is once a week at the most. But here is the reality. I caused someone's downfall today. It was the art gallery that I was in. This is the only real gallery that I was in and the nicest one by far. I got in around August of last year (or maybe the year before, all I know it was August) and since then the gallery has been going downhill right down to the second to when I entered. It was doing great before this time, how do I know you ask? The gallery owner told me to my face how well he was doing back then (when I first was part of it) and my mom and I occasionally went into the gallery to see how I was doing and how business was in general. Each month it progressively got worse, down to a crawl. We were great friends with the gallery owner. See, that is not that big of an event by itself when you have a lot going for you and have a job and a life. That doesn't describe me at all. That was my whole life (besides my family). Art is my only talent and 99.99% of artists starve to death and end up on the streets. I am totally useless as a person and I bet a million dollars that you all are tired of hearing about how depressed I am because I say similar things each time. Don't you think I wish that I have better news to tell you? More crap continues. I had an art auction last weekend, and I didn't sell a single picture while many others did. I met someone from this board at that auction as well (which is good news) it was an autism/ Asperger's Syndrome art auction in Eugene OR. I have failed time and time again, with only one recent success. The success was at the art show at Princeton University which I did sell a picture. That was the first and only picture this ENTIRE year! I mean you can't live on $140 a year. NOT $140k but $140 dollars. Homeless people who are begging for money make more than that! I am worthless. Hopeless. My dad will retire in 5 years maximum and we will lose 70% of our money. We will have to leave the "good life" behind and even in this life we struggle desperately from time to time. We will lose our great home and everything else. My business is a joke, I bet yall remembers that I was saying that I will be rich because of my "business" and that is what it looked like in my business plan. Me ENTIRE business made no more than $1,000 MAXIMUM for the entire 2009! The ONLY reason why that much in the first place was I made a lot at 2 autism conferences that I spoke at and sold my stuff at. My business made $600 of that $1,000 on those 2 days. According to my estimates along with those of several others which DID think this was possible and not some delusion was in the business plan we were going to gross (not net) $260,000 this year alone. This was because of how many zoos, pet stores, galleries, etc. I was going to be in nationwide. Not as selling original pictures because the money isn't in that as we found out, but rather selling gift items. And I had a selection that no one else had and had animals and breeds of dogs that no one has really thought of drawing. There also was a story to go with the art, my autism and how it helps me connect to the world. I was so hopeful last year that I was incredibly happy. I also have been doing this business for 10 years even though I just wrote the business plan last year. Normally it takes 2 years to see some kind of profit. 10+ years and all losses. I have to make considerable money in less than 5 years (at least what my dad is currently making, around $100k a year sometimes it doesn't look like we make that much because of the huge bills we must pay) or else we lose EVERYTHING. I don't contribute to society in anyway, shape, or form. I am just a crazy person with no future. My brother as mentioned in other posts is getting a Master's degree. He will be a multi-millionaire while I struggle (especially if I live alone if something happens to my family) just with Social Security. I know 70% of classic autistics don't work. Asperger's Syndrome people do such as my dad. I am classic autism, based on my speech delay. I didn't start speaking until I was 7. A dark, depressing "future" lies ahead of me.

((((((((((everyone))))))))))

gosh, its soooo hard!! ! and I am aspie


gonna be okay???


Are you talking about meanies from another aspie site coming here? I left a site because of bulling of just a few people, but they were nasty. It would be nice if they just evaporated once I forgot about them.


Hooters??? What f**k - Is he 12?

I am happy its friday. I cancelled my weekend and will just enjoy my-stressfree-self! As long as no one but my dogs is anywhere near me, I am a terrific person!!

Hooters??? What f**k - Is he 12?
LOL no he's 32 and it's for a going away for one of the guys that works for him. I got jake calm and surfing the web with plate of cookies. So I'm in alot better place then I was when he walked out the door but thanks for the suport .

Last edited by CRD on 27 Jun 2009, 9:49 am, edited 1 time in total.

+5 had a lot of fun at a convention today

I think today is a +8. Had some super-good news last night, and I'm feeling it today, for sure. Awesome.

Okay, guys, stop teasing and give it up!!

What's the news and tell me more about your convention

I hit the lottery!

OMG

How much

Just a +2. Every day has been a positive number since quitting my job two weeks ago. After nearly 3 years of continuous work, I finally have a real 'vacation' and I'm enjoying all the free time I have. Not much to be stressed about when I don't have to go to work and have the entire day to spend as I see fit.

I wonder if it's possible to truly be bored when you're on the autism spectrum. My roommate mentioned to me that she was "feeling bored" and asked if I was too, I simply said 'no'. I have a ton of books to read, TV shows and movies to watch, games to play, plus the endless void of the interwebs.... I never have enough hours in the day to do the things I want... if only I were lucky enough to be bored...

I can't say, but it might be quite a bit to handle.