meh...

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Nothing is interesting to me anymore. All of my hobbies and things I once found fun now just seem mundane and boring. I don't know what to do. I'm too demotivated to kill myself and to apathetic to bother trying new things. Any suggestions?

You have depressed... I think.
Me too. And I'm angry with my mother also...

Have you been treated for depression previously? Your symptoms seem pretty classic. A google search will provide lots of information.

Try to force yourself to get some daily exercise, and go outside for at least a half-hour each day. And there are meds, of course. Best wishes.

I get plenty of exercise both at work and elsewhere. As for medication, they generally prescribe amphetamines.... I refuse to take amphetamines for any reason. as for other medication... I'd rather just smoke pot then take some random drug I know nothing about. But I can't really afford that anyways so... I dunno... whatever. Maybe if I sit around and mope long enough I'll snap out of it.

Try taking something like St. John's Wort yet? I take SJW 300 Mg 3 times a day as the bottle says and it has worked pretty well for me. I feel great. I also have started taking Multivitamin. Careful though with this stuff as SJW + certain medications = very bad. I take only Multivitamin + SJW right now and it gives me good effect. It doesn't clear it all away, but after a few weeks you do feel better on it and happier. It did kinda make the sun a little brighter after awhile for me, but that has gone away I think for me.

Could also try getting into some online mini-games or something like on pogo.com or cybernations.net or something to that extent. They can help keep you doing things and entertain yourself.

Try to take a terapy with a psycologist, don't try only with medication...
And try to stay in more illuminated places during day.

psychologists are expensive and I work graveyard shifts... I'll look into St. John's Wort.

Wow... its been less then a year, but the road I've traveled since I started this thread has been so intense and life changing. So, since this thread, here's the series of events that followed in chronological order.

1. I tried St. Johns Wort. It didn't help me at all in the first week. After that I stopped taking it because I just didn't care enough.

2. Eventually the depression drove me to the brink of insanity and I tried to kill myself via 5000mg of diphenhydramine combined with about 1800mg of dextromethorphan.

3. Ended up being confined to a "voluntary" in-patient treatment program at the hospital. (again, wont bother to go into the details of how I arrived there, but needless to say I was a little disgruntled by the fact I was still alive)

4. They eventually let me out, upon which I realized that everything was even shittier than before.

5. I became homeless.(Wont even bother going into the details about why this happened. Its a whole story in itself)

6. The increasingly worse circumstances eventually made me too unstable to hold a job, so eventually I lost it.

7. I met some other people with no jobs and no homes who were squatting at an abandoned house. I started staying with them. One of them was prescribed all sorts of things for this and that. I ended up trying 3 different types of medication over the course of 3 months. Zoloft, clonazepam, and something else. Only the clonazepam helped my depression, but it made me too tired to bother going out and fix my situation. I also ended up getting hooked on cocaine while in this situation which certainly didn't help.

8. Eventually one of the people I was staying with went to prison for an attempted home invasion robbery of a medical marijuana dispensary provider. 2 people were shot, but luckily nobody died(although one of them had part of his leg amputated and was shot in the heart. Apparently a certain doctor needs a raise. lol). Afterwards, all of us at that house were questioned and let go but told not to go back to the house(we still try to keep in touch though, because of a special bond between us that can't really be accurately explained in words). Oh, this is also the moment I quit doing cocaine. Haven't touched the stuff since. Easier to quit then cigarettes, that's for damn sure.

9. I went back to couch surfing at friend's houses. When the mother of one of my friends figured out what the deal was, she agreed to let me stay there free of charge as long as I try to get my act together and help out around the house. That's where I currently reside to this day.

10. I applied for various different types of benefits at DSHS. I now have food stamps(which means I'll never go hungry again) and on the 29th I'll find out whether I qualify for SSI due to having various different psychological disorders. If I don't qualify, I'll get a random minimum wage job to hold me over until I complete my portfolio which hopefully will help me get a job as a programmer.

I don't know why I bothered posting this other then to give people an example of how NOT to handle things in a similar situation. Here's what I've learned from everything.

1. Drugs make a bad situation worse, causing emotional instability and making money vanish.
2. If you let things get worse, THEY WILL!!
3. The worse your situation is, the harder it is to get out.
4. Depression doesn't magically get better one day. Only YOU can deal with it. Prescriptions will help you put it on the back-burner, but you'll have to deal with it with using willpower one day if you really want it to go away. The gym is ridiculously useful for battling depression.

I hope that anyone in a similar situation to what I was in back when I first posted doesn't let things escalate the way I did.

Listen to music. It works for me.