scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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((((((((everyone))))))))

a 5. Filled with an inexplicable feeling of wellbeing, despite my life not being in that great a shape. I think it might have something to do with the exercise I am doing. I totally recommend it to others. I am trying to get some hobbies and interests together too, so that somehow I can turn things around.

Boyfriend is at work at his new job, he will be looking adorable in his chef's outfit and kneading dough as this is being typed. I kind of wish I had a job though. I dont know how long it will be before I will be able to work again...

I have an appointment with the psychiatrist in a few weeks! Right now I have quite a bit of paperwork to fill out. This man seems to be unusual because he does his psychiatric assessments largely through paperwork, it totally saves me money though. I have to fill out some questionaires and write him a letter outlining why I am seeing him etc.

Anyway sky is grey but at least power tools dont seem to be going. Perhaps the neighbours have finally finished the extension to their house, and their Missionary friends are on their way. I will soon perhaps be hearing choruses of Hallelujahs coming from that house, which I am far happier about than the cacophony of various construction machines.

-2 (and counting).

So tired. Of living with. Idiots.

*Deep breath*
At least he'll be going to school in a bit...

+5

No more homework...ever!! !

Following the title; -10, because I'm living with idiots. I have an extremely low tolerence for people who don't understand me, and especially if everyone tries to prohibit my freedom in doing what I find meaningful and interesting. I tell some of them how much I hate the current situation, how much I would love to change it, but it seems as if it goes one ear in, one ear out. Like no-one cares about how I feel about life, or what seems to be very important, education. Although I go to a school for children with autism, or high-functioning autism, it looks like they don't pay much attention to either the autism or the high-functioning part. When someone does something wrong, the teacher acts as if they're completely idiotic and sort of turns the class on them. Teachers are more of the almighty rulers of the classroom, like they are the smartest person ever to walk the earth, and as if they only place you could get the information is from them. Worse is, that when I try to complain about these things, I'm put in the box of 'angsty teens' which is very insulting. The rest of my family is literally welded to the television, and I barely have time to talk about these things to my mother. It's like the only place I can find people who could possibly understand me is on the internet.

-3.

The world is full of stupid, and a nice quiet morning in this house is always expecting too much.

-2. Have had better days.

I realized that at the age of 7.

I'm good, but I'm just not feeling like a person as of late, more of a...fake thing that can only recite words that get across how I feel; feelings that I want to be "real", as in something tangible I can hold before me, and learn its life better than I can my own.

I can hold a rifle, but not a hand. It seems sad, but it feels somehow right at the same time.

3. Scared, and worried, and overwhelmed, and I did the biggest thing that was forbidden by my OCD the other day, which was to hurt myself, and now I'm worried that I will lose everyone and everything that I care about.

X

My feelings are in limbo. Listening to happy music to balance my mood but I feel like as soon as I stop listening to it I'll probably feel like s**t. On a side note I just finished Dragon Age: Origins, makes me wish I had an important purpose in this life, also makes me wish I could live in another reality >.>

God I hate feeling emotions.

-1.

5 at the moment as its peaceful and quiet, but that will probably become -5 once i wake b/f and we start bickering about the decorating again, or he percieves my impatience with him as 'attitude' again.

-5. The reality that I don't have a life can be tough to handle.

-8. I wish I had the courage to kill myself. I feel like I don't have anything to live for anymore.

I don't want to be a man anymore, but there's nothing I can do about it.

-7. I really hate myself right now.

-1

The thread I got my neck torn in has been unlocked for nearly a year! Yet other threads get locked quikly. I'll leave it at that!

Isn't my turkey avie CUTE, by the way?

Hmm... 4.
I'm not really feeling much at the moment, but I don't really have anything to complain about, except that I'm starting to get hungry.