I am in such a mess and don't know what to do.

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Ok, So it's difficult to decide in what order to post this so I'll just start with today.

I walked out of a placement today in a charity shop because of feeling oppressed and patronised and being made to do pointless things. I only had to do it for a few weeks until my dad came back from China to apparently help me sort things out.

A bit of history: I moved with my dad to Sri Lanka when I was about 10 because apparently I couldn't stand the tests at the hospital (which I didn't find out were for diagnosing Aspergers until I was 18). Went to International schools, moved around a lot, lived in Cambodia and then China later, came to England when I as 18 to go to university, hated it, made no friends, did not enjoy course, got depressed, fled back to China and wasted a year there. Came back to England to attempt to get a job, impossible giving that I have no qualifications or experience and now its been 12 months and I'm still on the dole and housing benefits, I'm being shifted around all the time on the dole to different “courses” that are supposed to help me get work and obviously to no avail. CSV (working with the dole) put me on a placement in a charity shop.

I have a social worker and a mental health team specialist that come occasionally but now I'm planning to move back to China again to attempt to start up a business or something. My parents just don't really understand, I have had no friends at all in 12 months, I'm living in a miserable isolated town, so hard to socialise and explain what I'm thinking to people, depressed, no motivation and a complete sense of pointless hopelessness. I have no idea what I'm going to do.

Hi, spl89

Sometimes you have to do things you don't like. If you have no income you would have to do a job you don't like if there wasn't any other. You can look for another/better job in the meantime.

However those schemes your in are usually underestimating their clients abilities, they should have giving you a more appropriate job.

Have you actually handed in your notice, or did you just walk out one day. If the latter, you could probably go back and apologise and continue your placement...

Is there any chance you could go back to university and pick a different course?

I used to walk away and get very upset as well when I was your age. Had to do with me not liking authority figures.

Hi, I’m not really qualified to give any advice but I can share my own experience.

I used to walk out of jobs all the time. The ‘noise’ of my own thoughts and feelings in my head would become overwhelming and I’d run. I’d leave wherever I was and I’d seek refuge in some behaviour or another; alcohol, sex, sugar, shopping, food and even caffeine lol

One of the ways I used to act out was to just go somewhere far away in the hope things would be better there. It never has been yet; wherever I go my head comes with me.

I’ve made progress in life. Things aren’t perfect by any means but I’ve started to come to terms with the fact that there’s really nowhere to run and hide. The only solution to my head problem really is to face and accept reality.
And I’m not on my own. I know other people who think and act a lot like me, and I can talk to them. I read books which help me, and I pray. Others may or may not believe in God/prayer; I just know things work better for me when I work on the premise that I’m not in control. I’m pants at life and need help to manage things.

One other thing, on a good day at least, I try to be kind to myself and be patient with myself. My relationship with the world can only be right when my relationship with myself is right. Hope this helps.

This thread belongs in The Haven, not General Autism Issues.

This thread is necrobumped. The last of the users 8 posts was in 2009.

Thanks for spotting that APOM. Locked!