Me, Me, Me, Me!

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Anybody ever feel bad if/when they realize that they are turning out to be entirely self-absorbed? I know I am, and I feel bad about it. I am aware of my innate selfishness and at 15 I'm still a baby. I know. And I almost always think about only myself and my ego. Can't help it, really. I have a hard enough time being mindful to myself, much less other people. I try to take care of myself, but that usually means being a b***h to my family and pushing away my friends and being a baby and relying on others. Anything else becomes too uncomfortable, too difficult for my undiagnosed little brain. The day I stand on my own two feet, with confidence and stability and ability, seems to be an impossible dream, in a parallel world in a galaxy far, far away.

On another note, I do feel like a foolish idiot for making so many depressed, emo, self-absorbed threads. *scratches head* I so need to work out my issues. What sucks is that this is by far the most optimistic I've ever sounded on this site Do people get banned for just being an awful person to get along with?

This thread title is one of my life mottos . I feel bad about it sometimes, especially when I know it could be affecting someone, but sometimes I make fun of it too (acting like a princess to poke fun at myself). It's not so much a symptom of immaturity, but shows that I haven't had many other people to think about over the years besides myself.

I'm still going strong around here, so I wouldn't worry about it.

blue_bean,

That's because you are a princess.

You are 15 - you are supposed to feel like that
You are not a bad person, be kinder to yourself

I used to tear myself up about all my failings (and still do sometimes), I used to think terrible things would happen if I made the smallest mistake, but have learnt to forgive myself more. Bad things happen because other people choose to do them or just because .... not because I am a bad person.

I have no real friends and people at work hate me but I established it is not because I did anything wrong they just don't like me for their own various reasons. I am working on stopping wanting positive responses from other people thinking that will make me happy. You can't influence other people's actions/thoughts so I have to be happy with myself and my own actions. I am doing more voluntary/charity work and trying to be careful about how I treat others. I try to be a person I would want to be friends with, i.e. not deliberately hurt anyone.

I feel bad about the facts other people see me as being that way and that I am just now beginning to understand at 59. I have already dealt with much selfishness and self-centeredness at the level of personal character (consciousness), but now I see some inherent traits that present in ways that can be just as objectionable/harmful.



Agreed.

So, I'm wondering how you feel you are different from all other 15 yr olds on the planet - except maybe that you are being really harsh on yourself.

You are 15, this is the time to BE selfish, to figure yourself out, to go through all that pain and difficulty of self-discovery.
People expect that. Your parents have been expecting a 'difficult teen' since the day you were born. They aren't surprised when you act out. They'd be surprised if you didn't.

To get to that "impossible dream" you need only to keep on doing what you're doing. Stay alive. Stay off drugs. Don't get swallowed up by abusive people. Don't catch any diseases that will kill you before you've begun.
Learn yourself; your strengths and weaknesses, your interests and things you find boring, and as you figure these things out you'll be able to construct a future.
A future where, hopefully, you'll be satisfied with your life. Maybe even happy.

Being on your "own two feet, with confidence and stability and ability" is where you will be when you are an adult who has done all the work of being a teen.

PS- you are not emo, just a realist!

thanks all for being kind enough to reply~ I kind of get it, but my pessimistic, ever-hating heart won't let it sink it *pokes self*

It's not that Im self absorbed, just after learning, people wernt interested in talking about things i was into, I dedcided to pay them the save response