To med or not to med

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I'm currently taking Lexipro for my anxiety. It works wonders and allows me to be myself around others, but I'm afraid I have to little control over myself with my medication. Before the Lexipro, I watched myself constantly for any abnormal or flambuoyantly odd behavior. Now the medication doesn't let me dwell on those things. The problem is that now that I don't watch myself in the moment, my aftter analysis of the situation reveals some unacceptable behavior. I don't want to make people uncomfortable. If I'm not on the Lerxipro my constant watching doesn't allow me to speak to people because I'm so overshadowed by anxiety. When I'm medicated I allow more of myself to peak through. The self that I usually don't allow into public. The self that when it gets excited tend to hop around and giggle hysterically. I don't want that self to embarrass me. I don't want to embarrass myself or make anyone uncomfortable, but I don't want to go back to that shadow person.

I think you should try the lexipro for a bit longer. There's nothing wrong with letting a bit of yourself show through and not over-analysing everything. You may find that people like the new 'giggly' you

I agree! How long have you been on it?

urm since the beginning of the schoolyear. Around that time, I had to start taking it because being around this certain teacher stressed me out and I couldn't switch out of her class. It takes away a little of my impulse control. I think it's freaking people out. I have been silent for so long.

Maybe you could decrease the dose a bit?

I have a high tolerance to medication. I'm afraid if I messed with it all that anxiety could come flowing back. I'm not sure if I should experiment with it during school time. I think other people believe that I'm "coming out of my shell". (as if) The only person really bothered by it is my mom. She doesn't know what to make of me. She doesn't like the habits that it's creating but I don't see any problem with them. She's afraid that people will view me as odd and that I will be ostracized from society. She's very afraid for me. This medicine takes away some of the rigid control that I have over myself thus allowing my true nature to peek through to public surroundings. I can act EXTREMELY odd. I want to keep this medication but I don't know what it will do to me if I take it over an extended period of time. I don't care if people like me but I do care if they go out of their way to not like me (bully me). I can't take the stress, I fold like a wet piece of paper. TOO MUCH PRESSURE! AH! Also, she doesn't know if I'm me, the medication, or me + medication. For some reason it doesn't really bother me one way or another. Which is odd you think it would bug me a tad. I'm still able to act like myself but myself with a little less control. I don't feel any different but I've been told that I am different. I know I'm different but I don't feel as if I've ever been any different from how I am now. It's odd. I'm truly at a loss for words on how to explain this.

Talk to your doctor.

Apart from that, on principle, I'd say "No." I'm not a fan of medication at all.

Don't worry about what your mum thinks about you taking the medication. All that matters is what you think of it. Are you doing better in general now with it or were you doing better without it? If it's helping then you should stick with it. All medications have their side effects and letting people see your true self might not be a bad thing. It shouldn't matter if you giggle or act odd. It's better than being alone and anxious all day.

Thanks.

As a general rule, if people are alarmed by how you act on a medication that's a pretty good sign to get off of it. Last time I ignored warning signs like that I wound up so messed up that I was holding a pair of rusty scissors to my wrist thinking, "I don't have a reason not to." It doesn't sound like an emergency situation, but you should talk to your doctor about it ASAP. You might need to try something else. I'll be honest, I'm pretty anti-med because I was put on EVERYTHING between the time I was 7 and the time I was 18 and it was bad for me. If you need meds for depression or anxiety or whatever, that's cool. It's good for some people. But they can be really dangerous and you need to watch yourself for strange feelings or behavior when you're on them. Good luck.

I was on meds myself for a while (first ritalin, then dexedrine and paxil). At first it was okay, but I think it was the dexedrine that started to make me feel depressed. Lexipro, on the other hand, sounds like a completely different bundle of problems entirely.

Maybe you should ask yourself: would you rather be a giggly, exciteable person, or would you rather be falling into nervous anxiety over every little thing? You really need to consider which i the lesser of two undesireable personality traits here.

Is Lexipro something you wont need after a while? I know that was the case with my meds.