I get punished for being autistic

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petitesouris
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25 Feb 2010, 2:46 pm

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I think your Mum may be the one who has the problem. If she doesn't realise that your college work is more important than doing some gardening for her she has her priorities seriously screwwed up.


i would try to finish college since you seemed to have worked so hard at getting a scholarship and keeping it. getting a more academic kind of job means that you are less likely to wind up in a career that places a premium on social skills. perhaps you should ask yourself what is most stressful and then divide and conquer those stressers. maybe moving out of your mom's house and living in a dorm will take care of most of it, unless you cannot afford a dorm or do not want a roomate. i was able to apply through the disability service office at my college for a single dorm since i would have never survived with a roomate. if you really cannot stand living with her than maybe your girlfriend will let you live at her house. i know how it feels for being blamed for ruining your family's perfect little life for not being the stereotypical perfect child even after trying very hard to please everyone so as not to be ridiculed. its like every time some minute, pointless, obscure social rule is broken, the trivial infraction is treated like a sin. it does not seem to matter to anyone if the social failures are unintended and no one seems to care how the life of the person on the spectrum is affected. all they care about is how embarrassed and ashamed they are that their family member is such a social reject. in other words, your relationship with your mom sounds very negative and it sounds like it is creating a lot of unnecessary stress. negative relations like that will only distract you from other things. the fact that your parents refuse to pay your tuition shows that they do not wish for the best for you and that they do not trust you. perhaps you should try to prove them wrong. well, good luck with everything.



Christophe
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25 Feb 2010, 3:49 pm

From a personal point of view, GET OUT OF THERE AND GET OUT NOW BEFORE YOU LOSE YOUR GIRLFRIEND! It is obvious that your mother is using this as an excuse to get you out of the house so that she won't have to wrry about her own little world opening up to someone else. If she truly cared enough about the situation and you, then she would put more effort into it. As for the college, ARE YOU NUTS! I gave up on even trying to get into college as a dropout that got a GED, and now I find myself in an army I never wanted to be in, in a country I wish didn't exist. If you are like most of us, you are higgly intelligent and need to be in college so that you are able to further your intellectual development. There is still hope for your classes if you start busting butt now. I plan on going to college when I get out of the Army. It is something that I should have done in the first place. DO NOT GIVE UP ON YOURSELF, or your relationship. The college will be so worth it in the end. Just don't do anything that might make you wonder "What If," years from now.



SectorStar
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01 Mar 2010, 11:09 am

Well last night my parents had a discussion with me about what kinds of classes to take next term, and I'm happy to know that how much things cost is more important then my mentality and well being! Apparently if I were to stop going to college, it'd be WAY to expensive to pay for my health insurance or whatever the hell it was they're talking about, so apparently me being there is just a convenience to them. And my mom even stated that even though I more then likely may loose my scholarship after June, that "I'll still be going to college because we can't afford to pay insurance and stuff without you being there full time, and thats how the real world works :)" How the hell she thinks I'm going to be going to college without a scholarship is beyond me, maybe I'm just not seeing that with me being autistic, I asked my girl friend last night on the phone if I'm just maybe missing something, and she said no. As long as I'm in my house I can't get financial aide because technically my dad would make enough, they're just not gona pay for it. I can't move out till I get a job and get money, and if I'm forced to be in stupid college and get depressed for the the next 5 years or so, I probably won't be getting a very good one, or one that'll pay me enough to where I can move out sooner, and with my crappy grades and bad GPA I can't see many other scholarships wanting to give me more money after looking at my transcripts and grades and what not. My mom said something about how I just need to get some random degree even if its for something I may never use or would help me in a job because employers will see that I started and completed something. I don't see it that way! I've been here for nearly 3 years now, and I'm about ready to loose my mind! I don't see any benefit of staying here and getting depressed and upset every morning over a stupid piece of paper with my name on it that says I completed something even though I'll probably never end up using it. Honestly, I'd much rather be working minimum wage for the rest of my life then putting myself through this even more. I was telling my girl friend last week about how despite the fact that I'm 21, I don't really feel that way or even independent for the matter speaking. I can't be on the computer past 10 on school nights, I got yelled at for talking to my girl friend till 10:57 on a school night, even though we're about to get off 11 like we had been for the last 2 or 3 days because she knows I need to be up early, so apparently I can't talk on the phone past 10 on school nights either. I also told her how the only "grown up" things that I think I've done are drive a car, and use a credit card here and there. Other then that, I still feel and might as well feel like I'm still 7 for the next 5 years or so.



CockneyRebel
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03 Mar 2010, 1:26 am

I was getting punished for being autistic, until I've moved out. Some times I feel I get punished for being autistic, here. I feel that I get punished for being obsessed with The Kinks, mainly by younger members. I'm not giving up on WP, and I hope that you don't give up on life.


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pseudomodo
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03 Mar 2010, 2:58 am

SectorStar wrote:
she doesn't even make contact with me half the time because shes a mod on the Sims 3 forum and litterly does nothing but sit in front of the computer and answer peoples computer problems about the game all day long,


Just a quick guess: She's also aspie.

SectorStar wrote:
I got into an argument with her about it, and then goes on about how I don't understand facial features and volume when talking correctly and then threatens to send me to some care home if I don't do it right


Yup.

Might need counseling support to keep mother-son aspies under same roof.



SectorStar
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03 Mar 2010, 11:02 am

I don't know if shes aspie, but I know she does have some form of adult ADHD.



pseudomodo
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03 Mar 2010, 12:17 pm

SectorStar wrote:
I don't know if shes aspie, but I know she does have some form of adult ADHD.


ADHD & ADD are often comorbid with ASDs.

I'm sure others can speak to this better than I, but consider whether it'd be in both your interests to broach this with your mom.

FWIW I'm a 47 YO dad.



SectorStar
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03 Mar 2010, 12:59 pm

I've read things about that as well, so I've wondered it too.

Well apparently my mom got sick of the phone ringing from my girl friend calling me. So she decided that beings my 15 year old sister who isn't allowed to have many "rights" either nor talk on the phone a lot decides that I don't need to be talking on the phone a lot either and then says I can only be on for 30 mins a day. I asked yesterday if it was ok if we talked for more then 30 mins in the evening. She says ok. So she called me a little after I get home from college, we talk for 30 mins. Then at 7 she calls again and my mom comes storming into my room telling me how I've already been on for 30 mins. I repeated what it was I asked her and what she told me and her reply was "No, I said you could talk for 30 mins! You can hang up now! :)" and walked away with that damn smile on her face that I wana keep smacking until its gone forever. So now my girl friend doesn't even wana call me anymore for fear of getting me in trouble for something else.



ottorocketforever
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03 Mar 2010, 6:31 pm

Your mom is a control freak, plain and simple. It is sad that she won't allow you to better yourself, if you can, I would get out of that situation.



Tory_canuck
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04 Mar 2010, 3:57 am

If I was in that situation, I'd choose being homeless and on the street instead of the status quo (even in Canada where it can get to -35 degrees celcius in the winter).Sleeping in the bitter cold of Canadian Prairie winters sounds more inviting than your mother.


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