OK lets clear up what depression is...

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All of the self help threads are really patronising and way off mark. I'll describe real depression for you all.
Clinically diagnosed depression, not just sadness, never goes away. I was first diagnosed and medicated when i was 14, i was depressed ever since i can remember though. At as young as 4 years old i would scream and cry and tell my mother i wanted to die, in complete seriousness. I'm constantly struggling to find more ways to press through, and sometimes it will work, for a little while, but the depression is always there in the back of my mind waiting to completely take over again. The worst thing has been medication, it just hides the problem and prevents you finding your own ways to get by, ways that will last when medication won't. You grow immune to meds eventually, and all anti-depressants cause heart problems.
Watching something funny when i'm feeling down always makes me feel worse. I feel jealous that others don't have to go through what i do, that no-one understands and that everyone else is having a great life when i can't because of the way i was born. I did nothing to deserve feeling this way. Trying to think of things i'm good at, doing things i'd normaly enjoy all just seem to emphasize the way i am, the way i feel, and it further depresses me.
This isn't uncommon. My ex-girlfriend was the same way, but far worse. Her medication had to be applied for out of state before she could get it from the chemist, her father was a cardiologist and mother a pharmacist but still the dosage was so high it had to be done that way.
Very few people know what its like to have to pretend to be happy day in and day out. It wouldn't matter if i won millions on the lottery, i just *can't* feel happiness.
The only advice that has really stuck in my mind was a self realisation, that for living even for just 1 week with the way i am, I have gone through more hardship than anyone else would normally in a lifetime, and that i am stronger than them because of it, even if I don't really feel stronger.
I hope this is helpful to the people who are truly depressed. You are in my heart always.

I also feel that way. I´m so jealous of people here on wrongplanet because they can accomplish things and live their lives. I´m heavily depressed for one year for now. I stay most of the time at home, feel too tired to go for a walk or go outside alone, I don´t drive anymore. I feel a terrible angst most of the day. I don´t go out with friends anymore, I feel I´m not in the mood. I can´t read or concentrate, it is difficult even to watch a movie or a tv show (that is the worst part since reading was one of the things I most enjoyed doing). I´m not able to do any activity. I flunked out of college, quit the gym, and stopped doing my courses. I stay home all day doing nothing and that is killing me because I´m bored to the bones! Therapy does not seems to work so I´m waiting for the medicine to do its magic... It is a sad thing I´m that way because I actually had a good life before all this (friends, studied, had plans to the future).

Relying only on the medicine for your depression might not be a good thing. Sometimes complementary psychotherapy also helps. I go to group therapy and it helps me a lot. It changed my life in so many ways (before I got depressed). Group therapy was good for me because of my socialization problems.

I facepalm your post.

You got sad. You weren't born with a brain malfunction that prevents seretonin ever seeping into your head. At least you have hope.

No I didn´t get sad. Aren´t you being too pessimistic? It is not true that "clinically diagnosed depression never goes away". It is also not true that "you grow immune to meds eventually" or that "all anti-depressants cause heart problems". Where did you get that info? I was just trying to help a little by talking to you but if you don´t want anybody to talk to that is ok with me...

A. Clinically diagnosed depression never goes away, because all of the people i've met who truly relate to what i say know it to be so, and that is my experience. Everyone from my friends to family to my highschool media teacher (she's 54).
B. Everyone becomes immune to meds, thats why long term medication gradually gets increased! JEZUZ FKS SAKE MAN!
C. Heart problems, remember what i said about my ex? Her father is a CARDIOLOGIST and mother a PHARMACIST? THAT would be my source.

I wouldn't be so quick to "facepalm" Wedge's post. Depression can lie dormant for quite some time and hit later in life. And while your depression may be far deeper and more pervasive, that doesn't mean that another person's depression is just getting "sad" I understand your need to communicate the difficulty you deal with in your own depression, but simply because your depression is worse, doesn't mean another person's depression is insignificant.

I have dealt with depression all my life. Definitely not as deep as yours, but I have enough experience with it to recognize that it takes many forms. Some DO come from just getting sad. Others fall on you and engulf you for no apparent reason. Some depressions are mostly emotional while others consume you physically. I do consider myself lucky that the depression I deal with is mostly manageable.

It sounds to me like you are trying to communicate what it feels like to have the kind of depression you have, but you feel no one can hear or understand you. I think it would be valuable for many on this site to hear what you have to say, but for us to understand, I think you need to go into more specific detail about your experience. I don't believe that it is helpful to yourself or others to attack the moment another person responds with their own experiences. What I think would be helpful is for you to describe more fully the depth and nature of your depression and the strategies you use in combating it. We can only understand what you have to say from the combination of our own experiences and the quality of your communication. Express yourself better and we may understand more.

Lars

and the thing is, after everything i just wrote you come on and start being patronising! 'heavily depressed for 1 year now...' yeah well i'll be coming up to 21 years in about a month, and u say you relate so well...

No, i'm trying to help people differentiate between temporary sadness and a mental illness you're born with.


Thats the thing. Psychologists don't understand, people don't understand, there are no coping methods other than you pushing through regardless of what happens or how you feel. I don't really know how i keep going. i just do.

I was not properly diagnosed and treated until 35. They estimate now that I have suffered from some level of depression since I was 2. I've been told that since I was untreated for so long I will never feel great. I don't know, I have nothing to compare it to. I'm just glad to feel so so with meds. I hear what you're saying about meds but without them I feel sure I would have lost the battle eventually. You just get to the point where it's just too hard to go on. When I was your age I would sit and think critically "How much longer do I have to be alive?" This is not situation based, it's just who I am.That being said, there's no reason for hostility to people who are trying to share their experiences with you.

Hi

yeah, i have depression as well, but things have been pretty good since i started taking medication

i don't mean to be rude or anything, but you sound like you've fallen into the trap of feeling sorry for yourself
i mean, calling other peoples posts "patronizing" because you believe that they suffer less than you; that they don't deserve sympathy
i'm sorry, but that seems a little self-absorbed

thats okay, i used to be exactly like you. But when i stopped feeling sorry for myself and started focusing my attention on other people, I started to feel A little better about myself

or maybe i'm just being over analytical (i tend to do that)

again, i'm sorry if i sound confrontational or rude.
i'm really just trying to help

anyway, I hope things work out for you in the future and i'm sure it will get better for you
i know feeling depressed is awful but hang in there

good luck!

I wasn't making any comment on how he feels. In fact I'm sure its possible for him to feel just as depressed as I, the major difference is that he has hope. This thread was about lifelong depression, so for him to come along and ignore that and to say things like is horrible. What, it's not sad for be because i've never known any different?


THAT is *incredibly* patronising.

Let us see what Wikipedia tells us about clinical depression.

So it may very well be either once or more times.
But what characterizes a major depressive episode?

Also

Therefore, your non-verbal gesture "facepalm" is not very justified.

Last edited by ursaminor on 03 Apr 2010, 11:28 am, edited 1 time in total.

I guess where I'm coming from on this point is that we all can only speak of our own experiences. I can discuss mine and I can bring in information and evidence that I have learned to back up my conclusions. You can discuss the experiences you have had, backed up with information you have learned from books or from others. But you cannot describe what I or another person experiences. Because your experiences are more painful and devastating than mine does not mean that my experiences are a subset of your experiences. The depression that I experience or what Wedge experiences may have an entirely different character from what you experience.

To characterize the experience of a person who is hit with depression later in life as "just getting sad" seems grossly at odds with my own experience or what I have read about other's. You say in your subject line that you want to clear up what depression is and I believe you honestly feel that you have a greater understanding of the issue than others. I suspect you DO know more about the issue than most. Maybe my misunderstanding comes just from your wording because I can assure you that some of the depression I have experienced doesn't even really have an emotional component and could not be described as "just getting sad."

I think it is important to point out that there are biochemical changes that occur as one gets older. I have been lucky in that the depression that has been with me since childhood has eased somewhat in the past ten years. I hope you experience something similar and find that your depression changes and becomes less debilitating as you age. But you have to understand that another person who has only had minor bouts of depression may find themselves falling into a deeper form of depression as their body chemistry changes.

You readily insist that "Psychologists don't understand, people don't understand," but you seem to not recognize that you may be one of the people who do not understand. You understand your own situation but you seem unwilling to recognize that another person's situation may be incomprehensible to you. I freely admit that I do not understand what you experience. If you can describe it in an effective way, I might understand it a little. I can only look at my own experience and make guesses at what you may be experiencing. By the same token, you can look at what another person experiences and make your own guesses. But you do not KNOW.

I agree that there is a distinctly different experience in a person who has lived an entire life with a deep, unrelenting depression from a person who happens to be sad. I guess the point I am trying to make is that you seem to be characterizing a person who is hit with a different kind of depression as not actually having a problem with depression. Depression, like autism, is a spectrum of complex issues.

In order to "differentiate between temporary sadness and a mental illness" we need to look at the issue scientifically and dismissing another person's experience as "just being sad" is not a particularly scientific way of addressing the problem.

As a last point, it seems to me that "pushing through regardless of what happens or how you feel" is a coping strategy. It is probably the hardest route to take and requires a courage most people might not understand. I think your experiences are potentially very valuable to others here on this forum.

Best wishes,

Lars

i just believe your being self-absorbed
and thats fine
Alot of people feel like that at our age

i mean, it seems you want sympathy from both us and yourself by making these statements
There are better way's of dealing with depression

you might get upset with what i'm about to say but...

do you want to feel depressed? Is that why you didn't like what i said before? because you want to always be depressed? So you can feel sorry for yourself.

i mean, of course there's the neurological aspect to it, but maybe part of it is you convincing yourself that your feeling so awful

You might find what i'm saying to be disgustingly ignorant
and thats fine. i'm probably wrong. i'm not not a psychiatrist, i'm only 18!

Please know that i'm not trying to bring you down or upset you. I'm just trying to help

Lets see what Wikipedia tells us about Wikipedia



Lets see what Joel tells us about clinical depression

THEN WHY THE f**k WOULD YOU BE SAYING IT YOU DESPICABLE b***h!

Last edited by JoelsufBass on 03 Apr 2010, 12:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.