I've lost my way u_u

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I've been thinking about this for a while now. Life doesn't seem to get better does it, once you reach adulthood? Once life screws you six ways to Sunday, you get that certain 'feeling.' You try to hide from it, hoping it will go away but it always finds you in the end.

I'm caught in a bind right now. That line between being a child and being and adult. I'm stuck right in the middle. I think like a kid, act like a kid, and feel like a kid, but I have the body of an adult. Once you reach that magical age of 18, life begins to spill all over you. Employment is a problem for me because I can't drive yet and I have a lot of trouble dealing with authority, especially if my boss is mean. Plus, I really don't like working for others. My life has more meaning than working at McDonald's as a burger-flipper. I feel an obligation to show the world that I can produce something, which is why I chose writing as a career option. There are so many ideas I have for video games, stories, a show on TV, but I keep getting the same response from my dad, "it's a pipe dream."

Lately, life seems to be getting less bearable by the day. It's causing me a great deal of stress. I wake up in the afternoon all the time. I go to bed at 1-3 AM. I do this because I want a break from the chaos in my life. I wake up with aches and pains and often fall back to sleep because I don't have any energy. I get mad at my parents a LOT. I get defensive all the time when mom and dad talk to me. I'm resorting to talking with my online friends about my problems because nobody else will listen to me, even when I'm depressed (which seems to be happening a lot, lately). I've even had suicidal thoughts in the past that keep coming back whenever mom and dad give me a hard time.

Try as I might to confront mom and dad about the way they're treating me, the words won't come out. They never have. I can't seem to write much these days because my emotions keep stopping me.

I need help. I can't go on like this. I need someone to talk to when I have problems. Back when I was still in school, at least I had my psychologist to talk to whenever I had problems. Now, I don't even have that. All I have are my sister, my arrogant dad, and my mom who's too absorbed in what she's doing to even attempt to have a conversation with me. My emotions are becoming very hard to control, and I'm starting to get desperate. No one will help me, which is why I'm asking you guys.

If anyone can help me with this, I would appreciate it. I don't have many friends.

I can tell you this, honestly I don't have many friends and don't need them.

Life is what you make it and if your parents are to stupid and absorbed then you should just ignore them knowing that every person is different and some can't be changed to understand.

You seem like a passionate person who is being trampled by those around him and that is the life story of every great man or woman.
Overcome your conflicts internal and external and you will see that pain is only temporarily, and it is your emotional side that causes you so much trouble.
With this I mean that you should know on what to invest your emotions and energy, and clearly it is not in your parents but your creativity.

Again,... pain in any form is temporary, life is forever. And if you become great even death cannot halt you for you will live on as any great person who has given back to man kind through their work.

When life throws you brick walls you smash those f*****g obstacles to rubble and dust.

Period. And good luck.

Don't stress it too much. You sound pretty typical teen. You will move on and your family will not be in your face so much. Life does not 'get better'. It does go up and down. It is the yin and the yang. You learn to cope the best you can.
Dreams of writing can be a pipe dream, but if you are good, then it is a job. As with a lot of art as a career, you need talent and luck and competition is fierce. I would say learn a skill and if the writing is slow to kick in, then you have something to fall back on. My nephew was in the same spot you are. Now at thirty he works in a library and has published a handful of articles. His parents are frustrated he is not doing 'more', but l love him dearly and think he is at least holding his own. So, start writing and submitting your work and ideas or you will get no where.
I too had trouble working for people so start thinking in terms of doing a business of your own. It can be anything from having a lunch cart down town (if you live in a city), landscaping, wedding videos, designing, dog sitting. It takes work to get clientele but you can pay bills on your own.

Watch and relate:





[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ME27Mntt3Ro&feature=related[/youtube]

I worked in a factory, for three years, and it felt that my life didn't have any meaning, when I was 23. Taping zippers and cutting threads, was what I went to college for two years, for. I hope that things will get better for you, soon.