Please don't be so hard on Mutate. He's trying to sort things out.
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I dont even like having sex itself that much (without love)
I think that's something a lot of women are looking for and would value, men have a reputation for being out for the easy lay.
It's to be expected that a person who does not have a firm handle on these social interactions would be frustrated and have negative feelings.
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I know thats a sick and wrong way to think but i cant help it.
Putting Mutate down as if he has actually done any of those things, or would really do them if it became possible, is counterproductive and unhelpful. I vaguely remember in the book, One Flew Over the Cukoo's nest, there was a large powerfully built character called the Chief, who described the central character Randle as bigger than himself although he was smaller, because he had greater inner strength. I think that's the kind of thing he's talking about, the inner power rather than outside appearance. A relatively small, weak woman, does have
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DO NOT EVER use your Aspergers as an excuse for your behavior.
I don't believe it was offered as an excuse, but as an explanation. We all know how that can affect one's perceptions of what is going on and not usually in a useful way! the power to make a man feel inadequate and pathetic, or a man may feel so with her even though she is not actually perceiving him that way. I found that I had a hard time as a young woman with (undiagnosed) Asperger's drawing boundaries and saying no, because I had come to rely on other people having a better idea than I did in general about what was appropriate. So I got a little more experience than I really needed. People who brag about their many encounters probably have been dealing with that same issue of boundaries and appropriateness.
Over the years I have always tried to treat fellow humans, including men, in a non-hurtful way. I have not always succeeded. Some of the times I failed is because of my own Asperger's factoring in.
Mutate, remember that what people say they have done is not always what they have really done! Remember that what is good for someone else is all wrong for you, sometimes. Sexual conquest is not what defines the kind of relationship most of us want. Be patient. You can always lie about your experiences like everyone else does!
I suspect you will come across someone who you like as a friend first, before sex comes into it, and that will be a more rewarding experience for you--even if it is not permanent, you will know what it is like and what to look for. And expect it to take time. Most of us who are in relationships took rather longer than average to find them.
Thanks Polgara. To be honest though no women i knew really "braged" to me about their exes, they just tell me about them. Often their stories are horrible and they had relationships they hated. It doesnt stop me feeling jealous though as i think "it made them so wise and clever how do i catch up".