I sympathize with the original poster, to the extent that I felt quite spiteful of women up until I was 23, for two reasons.
First, it was my experience that women tended to be more political, devious and hypocritical than men, having no love for the truth and being obsessed with the trifles of social status; I admit that I have since encountered plenty of men who fit that description.
Second, I wanted to build a sane, happy family, and all the women I met were looking for a man who could provide them with fun and profit (whether material or illusory, i.e. social-status-based) rather than striving to build a sane, happy family themselves. There was always the implication that I, who had no interest in the things they wanted, was somehow inferior and unworthy of having a family. Their very existence was thus like a slap on the face for me.
Thankfully, I learned a few things in the meantime that rendered their slap imperceptible.
1. If a woman implies that she's "hot stuff" and that anyone has to "win her over" to be a man, she is nothing more than a con artist using herself as bait - and a very crude one at that.
2. If a woman implies that you're not a "real man" (whatever that is) because you don't have certain traits that she mistakenly regards as values, she also implies that you, and everyone else, should regard these "values" as universal, and that you should be ashamed of not living up to them. She is, in other words, an emotional bully.
3. If a woman launches a personal attack against you over your claims that she is attracted to wealth, prestige, intimidation etc, when the evidence is in plain sight and the logic of the arguments is flawless, she is probably also being an emotional bully.
4. If anyone tries to change the way you feel about yourself and others - in other words, to change your system of values - in a way that does not benefit you, that person is probably an emotional bully.
5. If a woman actually brags about sex, she is probably also willing to brag about the money, affection, prestige, safety and other benefits she receives in exchange for that sex. She is, in other words, a parasite.
I am not disputing the existence of exceptions, though I do think the above represents the norm.
These are just general ideas; I am not even going into the disgusting mess of women "choosing" a man among several they date, of wanting to dump a man for a better deal (while thinking you would feel flatter for being their "better deal" of the day), and of driving men to suicide via the institution of no-fault divorce.
Seriously, you're not inferior. To say otherwise is to claim that sleeping around is a mark of quality.
I think my own feelings of inferiority over not having sex came from the belief that because people thought me inferior for it, I had to persistently challenge them in my own mind. I knew they were wrong; I had the right thoughts in my mind, but I somehow couldn't put the right feelings alongside them. Once I realised that I should trust the way I felt about myself, and that it was perfectly reasonable to outright dismiss the attitudes of my peers, I found it easy to stop caring about sex, which was, after all, just another belief imposed from external sources.
When you think about it, sex is absolutely scary: here you have these sensations, such as the image of a woman's bare breast, that suddenly make you believe the woman in question is good - for having breasts - and that you are somehow good yourself - for being close to that breast. There's no thought involved, no logic and certainly no input from *you* in the decision. She could be a child rapist, and yet the presence of her breast completely hijacks your system of values, making it seem that her breast is a badge of honor entitling her to All Things Good. And it doesn't matter if she's lying through her teeth, because the sweet sound of her voice somehow makes it all innocent. There's absolutely no benefit in this.
22 Aug 2010, 6:49 pm
