Dear "You"...From "Me"-Letters Unsent

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Dear fungus, I wish when I scratch the itch you cause, it stayed scratched.And why of all the places to be, do you decide to be on the rudest part to scratch?

...To (never mind)

Nice job not grasping s**t! Go read a bit of reality, before you justify the doorway! Better yet, study about the cultures that accept it, and look real good at where that got everyone!

Dear AFJN,

If you HACK my new computer like you HIJACKED my BlackBerry and cause problems for me while I'm online again, I'm coming after you, no matter where you are, I'll find you and then... and then I don't know what, but I'll think of something. Maybe a good slap would do you some good. You know, it wasn't difficult finding out who you are, what you look like, what you do and where you've been, I doubt it will be difficult finding you in person. You should count your blessings that I have forgiven you, like always, one day I may not. I still want to know how you have managed to have control of my BlackBerry without having physical access to it to download spyware. Some day you will have to tell me. Often I think, you are too intelligent for your own good. You really should try to stay the Hell out of trouble before you find yourself behind bars with no access to the Internet. I know, you will do what you want regardless of any risks. And that's all I have to say about it.

Love, TAH

Dear blue_bean,

Good luck on your quest to find new love and closeness. You deserve these things no matter what anyone says, but it's more difficult for you to find these things than it is for others. You have trouble opening up to people. Relationships are built upon sharing and really knowing someone. I know opening up and exposing yourself is dangerous to you now in reflection of the past year, but you have to try. You'll feel empty if the relationship isn't truly fulfilling in the emotional way you wish it to be. You think you can only have relationships with people you will be obsessed with. Will potential gents understand you? Who knows. Anyway, chin up. You will find what you wish for one day.

Regards,
That other person with the same name as you

dear you
now everything starts to make sense this is the only closure i needed.
bye.

Dear bastard ex,
I'm glad I dumped your stupid ass and I know that you'll get what's coming to you. I've seen your actions for what they were - selfish manipulation. I will never forgive you or your family for what you and those bastards did to me. Your manipulation and their abuse coupled by all the other stuff I had to deal with at the same time nearly destroyed me. I'm glad that my friends, a couple of my cousins, my counselor and my autistic nature helped me to get rid of you, see you for your real self and get over caring for you. You never truly cared for me, only for the person you wanted me to be and the things that were convenient for you. I wish you a life of misery coupled by a slow and painful death.
C

Dear older male friend 1,
You have been the older sibling figure that I always wanted and needed. You've guided me through the practicalities of my various situations this year, you've listened to me discuss my problems and have treated me as an equal, even with the age gap and my strongly suspected ASD. You've done so much for me and without it I would not be here. You're one of the few decent guys out there and I hope you'll eventually find a girl who truly deserves you. And I;m really glad that you're here to help me while waiting for a dx appointment.
C

Dear mother,
Why the hell did you not notice the signs? Lack of friends at school. Only friend not at my school and only because you befriended her mother. Never could get along with any of my siblings. Daydreams. Out of it so often. Next to no coordination. Bullying, and having to go to a counselor and getting told to use eye contact. Then the move. Unable to make friends with anyone in the youth group. Suddenly failing my second language when the format changed from in school to a parent run ethnic school. Rages and crying fits. Only friend in the primary school after we moved was a "bad influence".

High school: had only one friend or no friend at all. Teachers commented on my "unusual way of thinking". They even got worried. Was never at any party. The parties I had were screw ups - even on my scale. Obsessions with things. Always being by myself. Being so smart yet getting so crappy grades. It makes me depressed to think about it, but I guess you always concentrated on your NT children without realizing why I might be different.

No, buying me stuff wont solve anything. I want my long overdue diagnosis and the help I'll get through it. I also need a decent mother. Someone who isn't manipulative, self centered and abusive. Only now that others are aware of the problems are you actually acknowledging it and trying to help me get this one thing that's long overdue. Guess who's the real failure now.
C

Dear God (if your even there),

Hey hows it going? We havent talked for a couple years, have we? I guess that's partially my fault, but you know, you could've called or sent a letter yourself. But you're a busy guy so I won't hold that against you.

I kinda miss you right now. I remember the good old days when the thought of you comforted me instantly. I would pray to you all the time, and of course you always were just sitting right next to me, being all powerful and forgiving and such.

Whatever happened? Why can't you be there for me? Where did you go? Are you still right next to me? Did you finally leave me? Yeah I know I went through some weird phases, but I really need someone who gives a damn if I live or die. But now it's like I won't even allow myself the comfort of your presence. I must suffer. If I don't, I'm gonna miss something important. That's why I can't take anxiety medication. It seems right, even though I can tell that's not the logical thing.

I want to believe. I want to be loved and forgiven, I want to love and forgive. But (no offense) your so iilogical! Just the concept of you is impossible. On one hand I am pleased with my critical eye, on the other, I need someone. I need anyone. I need you.

Love and Understand Me,
A. Guin

PS- Tell Jesus I said hi, or just forward him this message. Thanks.

Dear #4,

I don't know what possessed you that time ago to start developing a small following of young women, but you know I want to make sure it stops here and that another girl doesn't get hurt by you, although it seems like it's too late. I'm starting to see a pattern here of you getting them close and attached to you, then ripping out the rug from under them when a better opportunity comes back along in the form of romance. Us girls were just toys to you, something to give you what you needed when you couldn't have anything deeper. I myself feel incredibly emotionally used. You're probably denying responsibility for and don't give a single s**t about how a certain someone is feeling right now due to being abandoned. And I certainly hope you don't expect to come back and have us welcome you with open arms, opening ourselves up to be reeled in too close to you and being cut off and abandoned once again (well you might think I deserve the abandonment but your other female friend certainly doesn't. I'm typing this for her more than myself). We're not objects you can put back down and pick back up when it suits you whenever you're feeling sociable. Is it too much to ask to let people know you still care every now and then? Surely a short message once a week or so isn't too overwhelming to send to whatsherface? No I most definately DO NOT want your love back EVER. I fear it now, and I know I must avoid it for the sake of my health. I think everyone else should too for the sake of theirs. It's confusing and inappropriate anyway. Friendships aren't supposed to be that close. Stop getting people obsessed with you!!

Cherie

To the man who molested me

You did it because you thought I was weak. You did it because i was vulnerable. You did it because you thought no one would know. That I would always be quiet, that I needed your help, that I would always be too ashamed to speak out.

I'm stronger than you. You are weak and worthless, not me. You will have to answer for what you have done. Eventually.

Dear Dad,
I hate you. To many times you have tore my down when you were on your druggie rage. Well, I just wanted to tell you, I am better then you. I'm only 22; and I am better the you. And you couldn't make a patch on my ass.

Dear Ex-Boyfriend,
I'm sorry. I should have told you I loved you more often. I should have read up on what AS was to better understand you. At lease we talk and we are friendly. I would give anything to have you back. And when you told me that I have some traits of AS because my brother was diagnosed; well that scared the hell out me.

Dear colleague,

On this otherwise rather crappy day you made me laugh and forget my troubles for a minute. Thank you.

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Dear clouds,

Thank you for obscuring the sun so it's no longer blinding me when I'm trying to work. You are very nice weather phenomena and I love you.

- Rachel

Dear me,

Surely it shouldn't be that difficult to figure out how to operate venetian blinds

Dear God

When can we leave?

Dear bus driver who told me that all buses through that platform go through the Cultural Centre bus station,

f**k you and your misinformation. Thanks to you, I ended up on a bus that went express to Mt Gravatt, which is some way away from South Bank, and ended up wasting an hour. Which is exactly what I wanted to do, because I really enjoy sitting on crowded buses with people who won't GET OUT OF MY f*****g SPACE even though I'm virtually climbing the walls to get away from them, when I have work that I need to do that I need to be ON MY OWN f*****g CAMPUS TO DO!!

Dear software,

For the love of God, stop freezing. I do not have enough tracks to slow you down enough so that the scroll bar won't work. You and the bus ride this morning are about to make me meltdown.

Dear sensory system,

You're not helping. Calm the hell down and stop sending out alarm signals every time my hair touches my face, or my clothes touch my body, or any other PERFECTLY INNOCUOUS INPUT. Jesus Christ.

- Rachel is very pissed off

Dear Spouse,

If you want me to NOT think you are a controlling a-hole, here's a tip. Next time you have errands, take that nice little 2-seater toy of a sports car you just HAD to have (despite the fact that we have children, busy lives and limited income).

Still can't manage that because the damn thing needs to get to the shop again? I can dig it. However, be so gracious as to NOT take the ONLY set of keys with you when you go, effectively trapping me and your offspring in the house until you can once again grace us with your presence and the keys to the outside. Pleasant offers to "get us anything we might need" while you are 'out' do not excuse the lock up, mister--especially when you did not specify that you were taking MY vehicle and gave me no opportunity to have an opinion about that.

Again, these are just tips. Since you can't seem to manage common sense on your own, I offer these nuggets we can avoid that whole dance where I have to tell you how to be and act (something I completely abhor, by the way, but will do out of complete desperation). Also, I offer this advice since you seem to be so sensitive to being called a controlling a-hole when--in fact--it seems as though you work pretty damn hard to be just that.

Yours in eternal wedlock and unending hell,

-The b***h