Help with making friends

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Ailynn213
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Age: 32
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29 Sep 2010, 4:09 pm

I am a college student with diagnosed Aspergers and I have always had a terrible time making friends. I have really only had one friend in my life and we knew each other since we were babies and she always helped me when other kids would make fun of me. She was my only friend but when we were 8 she became popular and had lots of friends and I was forgotten and she didn't want to be my friend anymore because I was weird. I am now 18 and I have not had a single friend since then. I have either been invisible in school or badly bullied. People that I thought were my friends simply used me to get a good laugh and then shoved me in the dirt and ignored me. This has happened every time I have tried to make friends. I can just never seem to get close to people and I just get shoved away and forgotten.
I have been really lonely for most of my life and now that I am living far away from my parents I am extremely lonely and I so badly want a friend. After being bullied so badly all of my life I also am afraid to really trust people and some days I even struggle to leave my apartment. When I am not in class I am alone in my apartment with my dog (at least I have him). I desperately want a friend yet I am afraid of people and being used and bullied like I always have been. Every attempt I have made at friendship has failed and ended badly. I have tried to get involved in different organizations at school but I just get shoved away and forgotten like I always have been. I have thought about trying to start an Aspergers Support group at my university but I am not sure how to start.
I just don't know what to do. I don't think I can make it through college and living alone without a friend. If I can't find a friend I feel I will need to move back home so I will at least have the support of my parents. I want a friend so badly but someone I can trust that won't just forget about me when I am not needed anymore. Any help? Sorry for such a long post.



emlion
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29 Sep 2010, 5:42 pm

Perhaps try making friends online first, to help your confidence.
If you have higher confidence people may be more drawn to you?



sluice
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29 Sep 2010, 9:52 pm

Yeah, I don't make a lot of friends either. I haven't really been trying all that much these days. Most of my friendships never last that long once you get past a certain age when you are moving around and others have major changes in their lives. You are likely at a much better stage in life to learn to make friends since you are surrounded by like-minded people.

Maybe take some interpersonal communication courses since you're in a college. Join some activity based things where you don't have to do a lot of talking but share an experience- hiking or outdoor sports come to mind. The AS group sounds pretty good if you think it is a good thing for the area you're in. If you have school based insurance, you can get some help working through the bullying memories- that stuff tends to stick with you. It is cool you have a dog, maybe find a park where you can walk and meet some other people there.