Negative people, how do you deal with them?
I would love for negative comments not to bother me but they do, I am a sensitive Aspie after all.
Is there a way in which I can learn to be around people who can be negative and then enjoy the positive aspects of their personality?
I did find this online:
"Whenever the negative tirade starts just smile and don’t say anything. Remain completely detached from it and don’t get involved in it. Leave the room if you can. The negative person is simply seeking to get a reaction from you. That’s what they feed on. Don't let them catch you in their web of negativity because as soon as you do, that’s when they start draining your energy."
Do all of you simply avoid all negative situations or have you figured out a way to let it roll off. I have a close friend who can be so critical and negative but then incredibly cool and fun. Do I put up with the bad, which drains me in order to reap the good?
Thanks much.
A
Yes I agree with the quote, the very difficult part however being to "remain completely detached" especially when peoples comment become personal. I get this almost on a daily basis and still even to this day, it's not easy to take these comments personally. All I can really say is that you have understand the mind of the person who puts you down. Don't try and reason with it, especially if it shows that it has no propensity to reason. Ignore the remarks and realise that is has nothing to do you with you. If it was another person in your place the same thing would happen to them. So they are the common factor, not you. I hope this helps.
Thanks much.
![Wink ;-)](./images/smilies/icon_wink.gif)
A
From my experience people treat others the way they treat themselves, so in the case of being severely critical towards others, it's either that they expect too much of themselves and subsequently others, or that they're narcissistic. In any way whatever said person says better not take it personally, since it more speaks of him/her than it does of you. You could accept him/her the way s/he is - warts and everything, or could decide that the negative outweighs the positive - it's your call. You could also address this matter (if you really care about this friendship) and say honestly and directly that said behaviour is causing you distress.
Personally - if I can't be myself with someone, can't be completely relaxed and feel as if I might expect some rebuke all the time - I don't consider such person a friend. People should not be treated like punch-bags, that's what gym is for.
Wishing all the best.
![Smile :)](./images/smilies/icon_smile.gif)
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