I don't know where else to turn.

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emlion
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12 Nov 2010, 7:15 pm

I went out tonight with some people who aren't really friends, more like aquaintences. I wouldn't usually do this, but i've been feeling happy lately so I thought i'd try and be social and make some new friends. We went to a club and had a few drinks, they left one club at about 11pm and I was tired so I told them I was going home and they should keep on clubbing. They asked me if I was getting a cab and I told them i'd walk because it's only a 10 minute walk, so they said okay and left.

Stupidly, I took a shortcut through an alley without any lights - but i've walked down there a million times during the day so I thought it'd be okay. It wasn't. This drunk man stumbled up to me and told me to give him my phone, money etc. I told him I wouldn't, so he hit me, repeatedly. In the end of course I gave him my things and kind of walked home in a daze.

My boyfriend is out with his friends, and I can't call him, because I don't have a phone and I can't call anyone else either. Now i'm just scared and upset and I don't know what to do. My boyfriend will not be home until tomorrow night because he'll crash at a friends, then go straight to work. And I don't even want him to see me at all, because he'll make me report it, and I don't want to.

I don't even know what the point in posting this was.



colinthejanitor
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12 Nov 2010, 7:37 pm

*hug*

I hate drunk people, also people. I hope this internet hug makes you feel a little better after this terrible experience, you are braver than i for trying new things.



emlion
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12 Nov 2010, 7:50 pm

I've just been sitting here for an hour, crying and trying to not hurt myself.



Aimless
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12 Nov 2010, 8:01 pm

I know you're feeling a lot of frustrated rage. You might feel better if you make a report. It may take away your feelings of powerlessness a bit. I had a small incident once. I was cutting up a side street at night and see a guy coming towards me. As he got closer I could see he was masturbating. I started to cross to the other side and he ran up and grabbed my breast and ran off. I felt like chasing him down and pounding him.



colinthejanitor
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12 Nov 2010, 8:03 pm

You been through one of the worst experiences I can possibly imagine so the fact that you haven't already hurt yourself proves that you are stronger than that tonight. If you need someone to talk to ill keep this thread open for you.



emlion
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12 Nov 2010, 8:04 pm

Aimless wrote:
I know you're feeling a lot of frustrated rage. You might feel better if you make a report. It may take away your feelings of powerlessness a bit. I had a small incident once. I was cutting up a side street at night and see a guy coming towards me. As he got closer I could see he was masturbating. I started to cross to the other side and he ran up and grabbed my breast and ran off. I felt like chasing him down and pounding him.


I'm not angry.
It's my fault, I shouldn't try and better my life, i'm not worth it.
All the bad things happen BECAUSE i'm a bad person.



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12 Nov 2010, 8:29 pm

Self esteem is such a big subject. I battle with it myself. I've learned a little to look at those kinds of thoughts dispassionately and to reason if they are really true. You don't have to be perfect to have value in this world. You didn't deserve what happened. Those thoughts of self loathing are like an old tape that plays in your head out of habit. You can change it but it takes work. You can't just decide not to feel what you feel. Just try to separate from the thoughts and look at them analytically. Moog could probably express it better.



ari_
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12 Nov 2010, 8:34 pm

It's not your fault he was drunk and that he decided to rob you, no matter what you may have done in the past. It may not have been the wisest choice to go through a dark alley, but it was still his responsibility to do such a thing. So again, his fault and not yours.

Besides, you are worth it to live a good life: you're young (as young as me), you have your life in front of you and you have a boyfriend. To be honest, you're doing better than me at the moment.

All I can say is to file a report with the police. You can tell what happened and they can get you help if you need it. I understand that you hesitate to do this, however it is the best thing you can do.



John_Browning
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12 Nov 2010, 10:18 pm

Please don't hurt yourself. That will eventually cause more problems than it will solve. Trust me, I've done it so I know. :(

Since you have been drinking, please wait until the morning to make any decisions.

This situation won't feel so bad in a few days. :)


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CockneyRebel
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12 Nov 2010, 10:20 pm

Don't hurt yourself. hang in there.


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13 Nov 2010, 12:39 am

emlion wrote:
I'm not angry.
It's my fault, I shouldn't try and better my life, i'm not worth it.
All the bad things happen BECAUSE i'm a bad person.


I hope you know that's not true. I imagine that all of us here have felt that way at some point. I've only been here a short time, but you're one of my favorites in this community. You seem to often have positive things to say, which isn't the easiest thing for any Aspie. No one on the internet really knows anyone, but I can tell that you are indeed a good person. This detestible person who robbed you is the bad person.
There is no such thing as karma. Good things don't always happen to good people and, unfortunately, bad things don't always happen to bad people. Some day the s**thead you encountered tonight will screw with the wrong person and get what's coming to him because he put himself in a position to.
Keep trying, keep going. You are worth it.


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emlion
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13 Nov 2010, 7:16 am

Update: I feel a little better this morning emotionally. Thank you for your nice words.



The_Face_of_Boo
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13 Nov 2010, 8:48 am

You have to report.



and buy something like this:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Electroshock_weapon

all girls should buy such weapons.



emlion
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13 Nov 2010, 8:52 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
You have to report.


What's the point?

I hate being at a police station and I don't know who it was, can't even remember what he looked like.
They'll probably just think i'm a stupid little girl who got drunk and couldn't look after herself and deserved what she got.



TheWeirdPig
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13 Nov 2010, 9:45 am

I'm sorry you had to go through this. The world can be a cruel place.

emlion wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
You have to report.


What's the point?

I hate being at a police station and I don't know who it was, can't even remember what he looked like.
They'll probably just think i'm a stupid little girl who got drunk and couldn't look after herself and deserved what she got.


Even if you made a mistake and used poor judgment, you cannot take any more than 50% of the blame here. He was a jerk who CHOSE to take advantage of the situation. Therefore, he made poor judgment too. That's worth at least 50% to him, if not more.

If you report it, you might at least get your belongings back.

I wish I was there to advocate for you, or help you advocate for yourself.

Take care of yourself today.



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13 Nov 2010, 10:17 am

TheWeirdPig wrote:
I'm sorry you had to go through this. The world can be a cruel place.

emlion wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
You have to report.


What's the point?

I hate being at a police station and I don't know who it was, can't even remember what he looked like.
They'll probably just think i'm a stupid little girl who got drunk and couldn't look after herself and deserved what she got.


Even if you made a mistake and used poor judgment, you cannot take any more than 50% of the blame here. He was a jerk who CHOSE to take advantage of the situation. Therefore, he made poor judgment too. That's worth at least 50% to him, if not more.

If you report it, you might at least get your belongings back.

I wish I was there to advocate for you, or help you advocate for yourself.

Take care of yourself today.


I think the blame is 100% on the thief. Theft and violence is wrong and doesn't become any less wrong simply because of where the victim chose to walk before it happened.


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