Someone please listen to me!

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No, your thread seems good and you are getting quite the discussion. You are not unlike other 20 year-olds that I have encountered. Yes, confused but trying. You are absolutely correct in saying good grades in school don't translate to good grades in life. I hope this is a safe place for you to talk too, but sometime people can be rude (either inadvertently or on purpose

If interested in Seattle, think also about Portland. It's smaller, but still very cosmopolitan with a good arts scene. If you want a small city, think about Madison. Public transportation is ok, but you can walk just about anywhere. Of course if your boyfriend from South Asia can handle the weather, I'm biased to Minneapolis. The University of Minnesota is excellent for science and medical education, and has a good psychology program too. Public transportation is getting better now with the introduction of light rail. Minneapolis/St. Paul is considered second only to New York as far as live theater goes.

Mostly, it sounds like you just need to get away. I don't blame you.

"Mostly, it sounds like you just need to get away. I don't blame you."

You are absolutely right. I need to get away from where I'm at. It's a 20-30 minute drive to the biggest town, and it's far from the nearest city. Even worse, I can't drive. I need to be somewhere...else.

This AS is h*! I wish I could be like normal people and have normal interests so I could be interested in a normal job. I wish I could read people's emotions accurately and not be so paranoid because I don't know what people want from me. I wish I could multitask so I could drive and handle any kind of job. I wish I could stand being around a lot of people and not be so emotionally unstable. I don't even know what I should be doing. What's the point of trying when I'm so disabled. There is no room in our society for people like me.

Me. Aparently it is less favorable to be a bilingual 19 y/o male in college than some foreigner that cant even speak his native tounge well let alone english.

Don't move to central IL. For the love of all you people, DON'T. MOVE. TO. CENTRAL. IL.

There are NO JOBS here. Unless you like generally rural areas, DON'T move here. I am wanting to LEAVE.

And rural areas are a terrible place for people who can't drive.

Be very careful what you tell people. If you tell them you're going to kill or hurt yourself, they can lock you away, and there would be nothing you could do about it.

Is there any particular reason why you cannot drive (physical disability, etc.)?

I'm terribly frightened of hurting someone, and I can't do the multitasking that driving requires.

Can you hear me scream in my mind? Do I depress you? Do my tears drive you away? If you can't bear the weight of my sorrow, then do you really want me around you?

My suggestion is to stay within Illinois and find a state school to go to. The in-state tuition is always a lot less and if you move out of state you would have to establish residency to get it. You should be able to get significant financial aid and cheap loans to go towards student housing. Student Works could provide you with a job on campus for extra money too.

I'm not really sure if IL is the best state for me to live in though...

I didn't think you would be eligible for ssi if you were receiving a student loan. If you are over 25 (I think?) you could probably get a lot in student loans depending on the school you go to and previous income etc. The loans can also cover living expenses. Talk to the financial aid dept. at the school you plan to go to.

If I say I'm gloomy, how many people would respond?

Maybe I'm just out to get attention on here. But not bad attention. I don't try to cause trouble. I just want people on here to respond when I say I'm sad. But why would anyone pay attention to me if I want attention? I'm just another person who says she's sad or gloomy or even depressed. Who cares?

I live in the South and no, I'm not offended. It's a common perception, and I'd have to say it depends...without being specific. I've lived in several southern states.

I live in Arkansas, don't know if you've heard of the Beverly Hillbillies, but was living overseas when asked how Granny and Jethro were doing. It was very funny.

I would think that Atlanta, or an equally large city, would be fine!

You guys are great for giving me suggestions! Thanks to you all.

I need more life help. I need to choose a career fast. I have a passion for theatre, film, and foreign languages, and I like to help people. However, I need to have a job that is not very stressful and that would actually make some money. My fiancee suggests that I be a nurse, web designer, farmer, accountant, school teacher, or a bakery. I need to drastically change my interests. (sigh) Just another things that proves to me that the world doesn't have a place for me. Does anyone else ever feel like the world doesn't need someone like you?