Board index › Coping in life › The Haven

My dad is getting married this weekend :(

Page 1 of 1 [ 4 posts ] 

Previous topic | Next topic

thissux
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

User avatar

Joined: 3 Jun 2010
Age: 60
Gender: Female
Posts: 8

07 Feb 2011, 12:37 pm

So this coming Saturday, my dad is getting married to the woman that he cheated on my mom with. Ever since my dad left home ( when I was 1) 14 years ago, he has been with this woman. Up until only about 2 years ago, my dad wwas not very involved in my life. His new life with this woman was more important that me and my sister. Although we did see him mybe every couple years it felt to me like I was seeing a total stranger. Anyway my dad lives nearly 3 hours away and is trying to get me to go to the wedding, as lately we have been talking more. I am really upset with him though, I guess maybe I had hoped he would come back to my mom. My mom did remarry after my dad divorced her but my "step-dad"did some things ( to me ) that werent right and we ended up moving. Its been rough the last 1-2 years but my mom is doing her very best. As a single mother with one job and 2 teens im sure its not easy! Any way thaks for letting me vent :!: :D



raisedbyignorance
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Apr 2009
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,225
Location: Indiana

07 Feb 2011, 8:15 pm

Oh wow...that is messed up. I think I can fill the blanks in pretty clear.

Anyway as for the wedding, it should be your decision alone whether or not you want to go to it. Don't let your dad manipulate you if you feel strongly against what he is doing. Let him know how you feel about it. That is the most important thing.



Titangeek
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Aug 2010
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,696
Location: somewhere in the vicinity of betelgeuse

08 Feb 2011, 1:26 am

Go if you won't to, don't go if you don't wont to.


_________________
Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it.
- Bruce Lee


Lene
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Nov 2007
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,452
Location: East China Sea

08 Feb 2011, 2:04 pm

thissux wrote:
So this coming Saturday, my dad is getting married to the woman that he cheated on my mom with. Ever since my dad left home ( when I was 1) 14 years ago, he has been with this woman. Up until only about 2 years ago, my dad wwas not very involved in my life. His new life with this woman was more important that me and my sister. Although we did see him mybe every couple years it felt to me like I was seeing a total stranger. Anyway my dad lives nearly 3 hours away and is trying to get me to go to the wedding, as lately we have been talking more. I am really upset with him though, I guess maybe I had hoped he would come back to my mom. My mom did remarry after my dad divorced her but my "step-dad"did some things ( to me ) that werent right and we ended up moving. Its been rough the last 1-2 years but my mom is doing her very best. As a single mother with one job and 2 teens im sure its not easy! Any way thaks for letting me vent :!: :D


Wow. Yeah, that does kinda suck. I don't think there's a rock-solid etiquette rule for this sort of thing, so as others have pointed out, it's your call.

I mean, if you're close to your dad now and want to get along with his new family, then it might be a good PR move to turn up.

The 'mature' thing is probably to go, but maybe ask for your own mum's permission/blessing first (depending on your relationship with her). If she looks like she's about to burst into tears, then maybe give it a miss and explain to your dad why.

Go with your own gut feeling in the end; if you decide you can't go, then your dad's an adult, he can deal with disappointment (and hell, considering he ditched you guys for so long, it'd be a bit rich if he tried to guilt you into it).