Church Goers - I don't get it.

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I also had trouble with religion for a very long time. I tried many different places and felt so shunned that it began manifesting as an anger at God. One day I was at a tiny episcopal church and something changed in my thinking. I can't say all episcopal churches are like this, but this one is perfect for me. One of the fathers is also an aspie and we actually have several aspie youth I am priveleged to work with weekly.

I was visiting relatives in a small town and they went to this Evangelical church. I cooperated while I was there because I was only thirteen so I went to the youth group meeting like they wanted me to. While I was there, I said some compliment about the pastor because I thought it would make everybody happy. It did. I said that he was a great public speaker and very easy to listen to. Everybody smiled and agreed. Then, that Sunday, the pastor proceeded to do an entire sermon on how you should never say what I said about a pastor because it's God speaking through them. He didn't name me, but c'mon. Obviously they'd all talked about what I said and somehow it ended up turning into a bad thing that he had to lecture about. This makes me believe that pastors singling out people it happens A LOT in churches with these types of backstabby people.

Welcome to the Episcopal Church!

One thing that I have learned, is that despite our negative or positive experiences with churches, the fact is that churches are businesses. It is all about gathering a large flock to pay out regular contributions. It has never been about the religion. I was saddened to learn this.

As for singling out stories, I once got invited to this mostly black church. The minister, (a woman) called several women up to the front of the congregation and started putting one of the women down for wearing her hair naturally instead of chemically straightened like the other women in the room. I was horrified. I couldn't understand what humiliating others had to do with God?

Yes, there is something wrong somewhere any and every time an assembly of believers is actually a corporation:


As few as there might actually be, there are assemblies of believers that do not ask for anything from others ... and their members willing pay their taxes.

I joined Student Venture back in high school (if you know what SV is) knowing that there was going to be some people within the churches who were going to b*****s and hypocritical and I tried not to let it get to me. The worst one I found was my ex boyfriend's mom who called me a slut and never apologized to my face for it despite the fact that she was formally a teen mom and high school dropout...two things that I never aspired to.

Well anyway, the thing that really bothered me about Student Venture wasn't the rules or the interpretation of the Bible...but rather it was the constant pressure of converting others. Every meeting was treated like a contest to see who could convert the most people in a week and my poor social skills made it impossible for me to do any of this. I also felt it was discourteous to pressure people into changing especially if they're already technically good people. They seriously made it sound like "it's great if you believe in God but if you don't convert other people, it doesn't mean s**t to him." And rarely were these people interested in hanging out with me outside of Bible Study and meetings. Anyway after I was diagnosed with AS, everything became clear to me why I was such a failure at converting people. I didn't let it get to me since the cause was something far beyond my own control.

I believe that if a church or religion is great, people will naturally flock to it, because they see the people who go to that church doing good and loving others. Pressuring only turns people away.

Do you have to go to church? I ask because you said that you don't need church to believe, so I'm wondering why you keep bothering with it with all those bad experiences.

I don't "keep bothering with it". Meaning, that stuff happened to me a long time ago. The last bit was ten years ago. I bring it up now, because, as a maturing adult different needs are developing and one of those involves my spirituality. Plus, since I moved to the South a few years ago, I've had more people pressuring me, which irks me - hence the post.

Christianity is meant to be a community religion where people gather to worship as a body. So, maybe people don't need a church but they do need a community. Wanting that fellowship is natural as a person and as a christian. Good luck to you. I hope you do find a proper church community to worship with.

Well, from my point of view...
I am a "church-goer", and I am christian, but I am Mormon.
While I know that there is practically 0 Mormon's on here, and that mostly everyone thinks we are bad.....I can explain why we go to church.....and maybe that can help?

I go every Sunday, and while sometimes I don't get it, I think it is the rig thing to do.....here's why.
Why do the majority of people go to church, aside from an image, they want to do the right thing.
Why is it the right thing?
Because, there is a god, and he is watching.
He see's your heart, your actions, your character, your life.
That doesn't mean that you can beat your kid, go to church, and be fine.
I don't condone that, and neither should anyone else.
But for the majority of well-meaning people, it is a way to improve.
Think about it, there are billions of self-help books out on the market.
Then there is church.
It is free.
Most of the self help books cost money.
Ahhhhh.
But then there are misinformed people.
Who think you are wrong for not going.
While it may be holding you back, you aren't a bad person.
They are either misinformed, or misintended.
Either way, they are wrong.
It is totally up to you to go to church.
Believe me, I've had my moments, I've wanted to stay home and just read my scriptures and have that "count", but I realize that God isn't up there counting your church records.
He is counting on your character, and your actions, your heart.
While you can be a good person outside of church, he knows that if you truly internalize the DOCTRINE (not shouting, emphasizing) you can be better and more happy.

That's my 2 cents.
(Oh, and we believe the bible to be true as far as it is translated correctly, and the Book of Mormon is the most correct book on earth, and that is my reply to your bible statement.)
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I am not going to pretend to know it all, I am just going to try as hard as I can to learn as much as I can.

I don't think Mormons are bad. I know a Mormon. He's a good guy.

We have theological differences but I can keep my opinion to myself out of respect for your beliefs. I think it's great that you have found your path and are living with your whole heart on that path. I have to believe God honors that sincerity, passion and commitment.

I usually get Jehovah's Witnesses at my door but the one time I got Mormons, I was pretty excited. "You're my first Mormons!" I excitedly told them when I saw their Book of Mormon in their hands. I'm still pretty upfront that I'm Episcopalian and have no interest in converting so good luck and good bye. I like that they didn't argue with me like the JWs usually do... as if the JW's were really just there to chit-chat with me and I'm misunderstanding their intent. *shakes head*

Am a Mormon, a less active one.

When I was active I have three church callings at the same time (two Ward & one Stake) very stressful plus a very bad experience with a former friend in the Celestial Room (no less!) in the temple, that's how I became less active.

Yes the church is perfect tho the people that's another story.
It rings true why Wards are called Wards as there the home of the spiritually sick.

Almost all the Mormons I have ever met are/were some of the finest (most friendly and considerate) people I have ever met.

First of all, I really don't believe I have the right to declare who is bad or good, but I will say that I don't think I can point at anyone else, Mormon or not, and say they are any worse than I am. I hope you understand the sense in which I mean that; it is not intended as a merely lukewarm endorsement of Mormons. My personal opinion of those few Mormons I've known is actually very favourable. I simply don't believe I have the right to say any individual is good or bad. I can only say I'm no better than anyone else.

And, even when it comes to specific actions that I do believe I can identify as wrong, or unjust, or evil, I haven't ever noticed any Mormons doing the things I'd feel I had to speak out against. I do know there is prejudice against Mormons, but I really don't understand the basis for it. Well, if it comes to that, I guess the very definition of prejudice is that it has no basis.

To sum up, all I'm really trying to say is, please count me among the people who can happily read your statement that you are Mormon without feeling the slightest urge to beat up on you.

If you don't mind, I do have a question, though. I've formed the impression - although I was never told this in so many words - that Mormon tended to be a pejorative, and that most members prefer to call themselves LDS or Latter Day Saints instead. I only used the term because that is how you referred to yourself, but I'm wondering if it is an acceptable term to use generally or not.

Yes the term Mormons from the LDS point of view is an unfair label of church members, as Mormon is the name of the man who compiled the text that forms the Book of Mormon.