Fear of being discovered as an outsider

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So, I know this complaint is far more Avoidant Personality Disorder in its origin than Aspergian, but it seems like any place where I "join" (Such as the work-place, or a bus-line that's waiting for a particular bus at a particular time everyday, or the classroom or whatever), there's this pervasive sense that I'm going to be identified as an outsider and treated accordingly. Why? Because it's happened many times in the past in just about every social context (Even my "friends" sometimes avoid me, lol, or get a little squirmy.) and the past is usually the best indicator of the future!

So, I'm currently applying for this job at this fast-food burger joint and, somewhat surprisingly considering the state of the economy and the suggestion this place had already hired all the employees they needed according to a female employee I previously spoke with, they granted me an interview right away. (I'm thinking my "professional value" might be higher than I suspect, so I probably should be applying a little higher up on the job food-chain, which I will be.). However, I get this feeling I'm going to be identified as an "outsider" at the job interview and I can't help but notice that my somewhat slower, methodical and "not as cheery" personality probably would stand out against the fast-paced upbeat atmosphere that I could detect, so maybe even such an identification would actually help me because it isn't a good fit and I could work elsewhere given my presumably high "professional value"?

Yeah, I'm kind of mixed feelings right now. One part of me is afraid of being identified as an outsider, another part of me is the thinking I wouldn't be a good fit for the job and there's better opportunities elsewhere and so such an identification wouldn't matter (Until I start applying elsewhere, lol), but another part is thinking I might not have a better chance elsewhere any time soon and any other place is just as likely to identify me as an outsider, so better try hard!

Ultimately, I'm trying to determine whether I should "try to get the job" as much as possible, and in the event that I get an offer, whether I should accept it or reject it, or if I should just purposely bomb the interview.

I'm going through the same thing.

My plan is to use a methodology that's worked well for me in the past - I won't give a flying rat's azz what happens. It's not confidence, it's self assuredness derived from past performance and it's a forced disregard for those things that are out of my control. Experience has shown me that I will approach most any job for which I'm qualified with a faster adaptability and more comprehensive learn-ability than most competitors. I have mastered numerous blue collar and professional skill sets and I've done so quickly, efficiently and productively. What's more I don't usually make an effort to be sociable, I focus on working and understanding what the boss wants, attention to which has typically paid off in supervisory or management opportunities because it's obvious my mind and heart are where the company wants and needs them to be. I fret over the small stuff constantly but through discipline and prioritizing I can put those things to the back of my mind, disallowing them from overtly distracting me. That part isn't easy but it's made more easy when I'm succeeding in the important areas.

Play to the strengths that Aspergers or HFA might provide you, get to know them and use them to your advantage. Also get to know where you're vulnerable as that will come into play eventually as well. My strengths are in organization, skill accumulation, process streamlining, productivity, work ethic, pride in workmanship and several other areas. My weaknesses are in not maintaining my long term motivation + focus (some of which is due to not 'pacing myself' properly), not operating effectively in office politics (something of little real importance to a grunt but all too important to a supervisor), not keeping personal obsessive behavior under control, not recovering quickly enough from major setbacks, failing to restrict personal issues from influencing workplace performance (I start out well but over time it becomes a factor) and other issues.

One reason I've had the chance to accumulate so many skills is that I've cycled through more jobs than I'd like to have over my lifetime. My pattern is to rise quickly (2 - 6 months) but then burn out relatively quickly as well (2-5 years), more quickly then one would anticipate based on initial projections and my strong qualifications. That is a pattern I hope to avoid in the future as I come to understand myself more and learn how to more effectively manage the strengths/weaknesses that manifest in me. That is where I'm thinking a professional diagnosis will help, not just as a verification of self diagnosis but I also believe it will help me more fully complete the process of personal assessment and optimization. I'm fairly certain I have an ASD, there are far too many reasons to believe so. However, there are other conditions that I've been less able to get a handle on identifying or addressing adequately and they also factor prominently in their effect on my life in and out of work.

I don't know you or your situation, but I know it's not good to bomb the interview on purpose. I've cancelled interviews before, though. It's better than wasting their time. How badly do you need a job?

I was going through the same problem until last week. Don't worry about being discovered: you most surely will anyway. For this reason, you should apply for more jobs: if you don't pass the current interview, there'll always be the next one.

As for your "professional value", you should enter your resume at an employment agency. I did that and the results were much better than I expected. If you do that and discover your resume is good enough, you could try applying for better jobs.

After trying for 2 months (actually, little more than one month, if you take into account the ridiculous ammount of holidays we have here in Brazil during the first trimester of the year), I went though 5 interviews for 3 corporations, received calls from other 3 corporations which I wasn't really interested in and, after getting to the last interview of both corporations I was interested in (a heavy construction company responsible for some big projects around the world - i.e. the preparation for the Olympic games in Rio de Janeiro - and the biggest bank in the country), I was finally hired by the bank. I'll begin this Monday and, while it's only an internship of one year, I'm very excited about how great it'll be on my resume after I've finished my accounting education.

Anyway, I wish you good luck. They will probably see that you are an "outsider", as they saw through me, but you'll be all right as long as you can show them that you are up to the job. But honestly, you seem to be capable of better things than fast-food: if you really need the money, accept the job, but don't stop looking for better opportunities. As my teacher said to me: the best time to look for a job is when you're already working.