Suggestions wanted to stop feeling lonely

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Every morning I have contact with my email buddies. Keeps me cheered up for the morning. I write them back, and hope that they write back to me too. Lately though, it seems like I get lonely in the afternoons. Since I'm on Pacific Coast Time, and they'd be getting off work about the same time I'm feeling lonely, I know why I do feel lonely.

- the question is -

How do I keep myself from feeling lonely, especially in the afternoons when I still have three hours of work to go? I'm not going to be able to focus on my special interests... I'm at work and should be working. Work doesn't distract me from the fact that I miss the people I want to be talking to.

I think about them and what they might be doing and it makes it worse.

I make sure that I write them back as many times as they write me, but I still have this sinking feeling around 2pm each weekday.

I take my lunch at 1 so that I can hopefully sign back on when I get back to see if any emails have arrived to keep me from feeling lonely in the afternoon.

Keeping friends is hard and it would make it harder if I demanded they write to me everyday by 2 and start having conversations with me for the next 3 hours until I go home.

What do you do to stop feeling so alone? I fear the only thing that would cure this for me would be to have an afternoon email buddy but want to hear suggestions that are productive and that I can do while at work without getting fired.

Thanks in advance.

Mikka - almost 33 and discovered this morning she has 18 grey hair. EEK!!

I know how you feel, and I know how difficult it is. At one point I too got happiness from getting messages from people far away, while I was at work. The only way I was able to cope with not being able to talk to people in the form of messages, was actually to start talking and getting along more with the people at work. I don't know what kind of work you do, but when I started talking to them more and realizing that they weren't the as*holes I thought them to be, then things went a lot better for me at the workplace. My productivity and my mood improved dramatically as a result of it. I'm not sure if that helps at all, but it's just what happened in my case, so maybe something like that would work for you too? I don't know. Good luck!

Thanks. I guess I must be considered the office snob because when I'm at work, I really only like to talk about work unless I'm emailing someone outside of work. So I attempted to talk to two of my co-workers about something I'm working on, and in turn asking what they are working on, since we're in the same department. The conversation fell flat pretty quickly and I ended up feeling awkward. (Typical) I will continue to try even though today wasn't what I'd call a success.

I am curious though why there weren't more suggestions. I've noticed this often happens when I post.

Interesting observation.

Yeah I was usually working non-stop and had no time to be lonely at work. If I did get
a break I would rather just be by myself. After I learned to drive I would want to
go places but really had no place to go. The concept of being lonely during parts of
a 24 hour period are gone for me (I'm 36). If I knew it would take a month to hear from a person again I could wait it out. I contacted this girl on myspace that I meet in
real life before. And she has not logged on Myspace in a few months now.

I was considered the Workplace Snob, at the factory that I've worked at, many years ago. I was one of the fastest workers and people didn't think I was interested in them, because of that. The people who did show interest, were bullies. I've felt very lonely at that place.

Hugs and kisses from Ruby and me.

I think you should talk to them!

I am in a similar situation with my online friends. Both of my online friends were always there for me in high school but now that they are off to college, they are always either hanging with their new college friends or doing homework, so we dont get much time to talk anymore. I feel so lonely and like i've been left behind to rot. Maybe I need new online friends.

Sometimes getting email messages can be like a little drug. You expect your 'fix' waiting for you in the mailbox each day. When you don't get them in the afternoon, its like having a craving for another fix. Kind of like smoking cigarettes. Perhaps, cutting down on the emails may lesson your dependance on them, or, learning how to accept the fact that you won't get them in the afternoon, like a smoker learns to handle his cravings during the work hours. I know its hard, and frankly, I would rather have email conversations and crave them, then be okay without them, but you'll always want more and more emails the more you depend on them for a little shot of happiness.

I would like to talk more, but I spend too much time here as it is.

Also, I've found that when I REALLY need to talk, because I'm upset or depressed, I find it hard to find the enthusiasm to write everything down.

Mikka, I would love to help but I'd probably end up getting sacked and/or having a completely disorganised life if I spent any more time online. A shame, as you sound like a nice person to talk to.

Could you save some of the emails until the afternoon? Probably not, if you're anything like me you want to read them as soon as possible. Would it be possible for you to talk on messenger with some of your friends in the afternoon? (Would this be allowed where you work?)

Sorry, not much help really, just a few thoughts.

You could pass the time by talking to yourself. I have had some very interesting conversations that way.

Mikka -

I am sorry that there aren't more positive posts here.

I too feel very lonely at the moment, but I also find that I am very busy. Writing too many e-mails and posts simply makes this worse. However I could probably send a message every so often and you could reply during the times when you feel isolated and bored? I wouldn't normally be able to reply straight away, so it wouldn't be a Messenger-style conversation like you'd hoped, but it would be something to do when nothing else is happening. Maybe if a few people did this it would provide the support and entertainment that you need?

That fellow Werbert seems to have far too much time on his hands, for a start, so there's another candidate straight away!

Actually, Werbs made me giggle even though he's probably making fun of me.

Thanks to those of you who reached out.

I've been working this week to try to find something to do in the 2 o'clock hour to keep me as focused as possible instead of relying on others to "entertain me". I cringe at the thought that I need to be entertained, but it certainly looks as though I am requesting that by this post.

The actual job that I do is great. I think because in person, I appear more focused than I actually am (some people think they should only approach me if I'm smiling - otherwise I'm told I look like I'm deep in thought all the time) I prefer email contact because I don't get declined based on looking like I'm deep in thought... heh heh heh not that I look weird when I'm deep in thought. I guess I just look like I don't want to be bothered.

I've been reaching out to a few coworkers. I will not reach out to more than a few though. That's just not in my nature. Thanks for that suggestion, SP.

Mr. S Hermit, as much as I'd love to use a messenger at work, my boss would kill me if he saw me using one so that's probably out, that's why email is the best option. However, when I get home from work, I'm usually signed into messenger, sure.

I can still check in here though.

Thanks for reading.