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Why couldn't I have been born a boy?

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slashfrehley42
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10 Jun 2011, 11:43 am

You know, being born with a penis doesn't give you a better life automatically. We gentlemen have our own set of problems to deal with, which are just as trying as the more feminine ones.

For example...

1. Constant competition. All men are competing with other men all the time for dominance. The structure of male social groups is highly hierarchical, and there's a constant struggle to become the alpha male. Most of it's unconscious, so we don't even know we're doing it.
2. Any sign of weakness will be exploited, due to the above.
3. You're not allowed to cry. Men can't cry. It's the most awkward thing in the world to watch a man cry.
4. Try being a heterosexual white male university student. See how much s**t you cop from feminists, gay rights activists and people of other ethnicities. I'm not racist, but if I so much as tell an Indian off for something - like smoking near children - I am branded as such. And don't get me started on dealing with feminists. Chivalry is equal to misogyny these days, apparently.
5. I'm sure that being on your period is awful, but I can't imagine anything worse than being on the receiving end of PMS.



Erisad
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10 Jun 2011, 11:49 am

slashfrehley42 wrote:
You know, being born with a penis doesn't give you a better life automatically. We gentlemen have our own set of problems to deal with, which are just as trying as the more feminine ones.

For example...

1. Constant competition. All men are competing with other men all the time for dominance. The structure of male social groups is highly hierarchical, and there's a constant struggle to become the alpha male. Most of it's unconscious, so we don't even know we're doing it.
2. Any sign of weakness will be exploited, due to the above.
3. You're not allowed to cry. Men can't cry. It's the most awkward thing in the world to watch a man cry.
4. Try being a heterosexual white male university student. See how much sh** you cop from feminists, gay rights activists and people of other ethnicities. I'm not racist, but if I so much as tell an Indian off for something - like smoking near children - I am branded as such. And don't get me started on dealing with feminists. Chivalry is equal to misogyny these days, apparently.
5. I'm sure that being on your period is awful, but I can't imagine anything worse than being on the receiving end of PMS.


Don't be an as*hole, then feminists and gay rights activists and everyone else will leave you alone. I can't help but feel that you're belittling how hard being a woman is just because a woman yells at you once a month. You try bleeding for five days and still live as if nothing is happening. :/



slashfrehley42
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10 Jun 2011, 11:56 am

Erisad wrote:
slashfrehley42 wrote:
You know, being born with a penis doesn't give you a better life automatically. We gentlemen have our own set of problems to deal with, which are just as trying as the more feminine ones.

For example...

1. Constant competition. All men are competing with other men all the time for dominance. The structure of male social groups is highly hierarchical, and there's a constant struggle to become the alpha male. Most of it's unconscious, so we don't even know we're doing it.
2. Any sign of weakness will be exploited, due to the above.
3. You're not allowed to cry. Men can't cry. It's the most awkward thing in the world to watch a man cry.
4. Try being a heterosexual white male university student. See how much sh** you cop from feminists, gay rights activists and people of other ethnicities. I'm not racist, but if I so much as tell an Indian off for something - like smoking near children - I am branded as such. And don't get me started on dealing with feminists. Chivalry is equal to misogyny these days, apparently.
5. I'm sure that being on your period is awful, but I can't imagine anything worse than being on the receiving end of PMS.


Don't be an as*hole, then feminists and gay rights activists and everyone else will leave you alone. I can't help but feel that you're belittling how hard being a woman is just because a woman yells at you once a month. You try bleeding for five days and still live as if nothing is happening. :/


I'm sorry, I didn't mean to belittle what you're dealing with, just saying that there's trouble on both sides of the fence.

Point about feminism still stands. I will open a door for you or give you my seat or coat. It's the gentlemanly thing to do and it does not warrant a diatribe about equal rights.



cdfox7
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10 Jun 2011, 12:46 pm

Erisad wrote:
Okay. I have no idea how to break of society's expectations of my appearance without running away to live as a hermit in the woods and I wouldn't like that very much. Any ideas as to how I can resist this then? >.<


I do have a few ideas, the key here is your choice to accept them or reject them expectations. You what to reject them, don't you?
To break free and reject them expectations, you need to work on your self-confidence and self-esteem.

You know that I too have issues with my self image, what I found very useful was to challenge my negative self talk and my negative thinking plus doing some mirror work with myself (I need to keep on up of it as I do sound like a bit of a hypocrite giving you this advice) Please remember this when life getting too much for you, you have a best friend that always been with you since you where born, that best friend is YOU!! You just need to work on the relationship you have with you, I need to do the same.

slashfrehley42 are you forgetting that us males experience PMS too, we get it a lot more often than women do!!



Erisad
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10 Jun 2011, 1:16 pm

slashfrehley42 wrote:

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to belittle what you're dealing with, just saying that there's trouble on both sides of the fence.

Point about feminism still stands. I will open a door for you or give you my seat or coat. It's the gentlemanly thing to do and it does not warrant a diatribe about equal rights.


Those are feminazis. That's different. Most feminists don't care if you open the door for us because we know you're doing it to be polite. Most of us just want equal rights, that's all. Not to exterminate all men from the planet. :/

cdfox7 - If self-confidence/esteem is the answer, then you're going to be seeing a lot of these threads in the next few years because that's how long it's going to take to recover from being emotionally abused most of my life.

Oh really? So men bleed out of their nethers too? My brother never told me this or I would let him borrow my pads. :lol:



cdfox7
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10 Jun 2011, 1:39 pm

If its going to take a few years then let it take that long, you set the pace of your recovery!
Now am sure that you what to get rid of that pain and misery that emotionally abuse creates now.
Do you what to hold on to those feelings?
The past is gone now its history, we can take our learning from it to help to move on
Getting good emotional support will help you in the recovery process.
At the end of the day your in the driving seat of your healing, you can take it when were you what it.

LOL About male PMS its called irritable male syndrome :wink:



Erisad
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10 Jun 2011, 1:47 pm

cdfox7 wrote:
If its going to take a few years then let it take that long, you set the pace of your recovery!
Now am sure that you what to get rid of that pain and misery that emotionally abuse creates now.
Do you what to hold on to those feelings?
The past is gone now its history, we can take our learning from it to help to move on
Getting good emotional support will help you in the recovery process.
At the end of the day your in the driving seat of your healing, you can take it when were you what it.

LOL About male PMS its called irritable male syndrome :wink:


Thanks. Tell that to the users who will get pissed off at me if I post about my problems again and don't recover immediately after they post something. There's some real as*holes on this site. :/

Sadly, the only place I can go for good emotional support is here but I also get a lot of jerks bringing me down at the same time. My family yells at me when I cry so they're no good and my friends live too far away. :(



cdfox7
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10 Jun 2011, 2:28 pm

Erisad wrote:
cdfox7 wrote:
If its going to take a few years then let it take that long, you set the pace of your recovery!
Now am sure that you what to get rid of that pain and misery that emotionally abuse creates now.
Do you what to hold on to those feelings?
The past is gone now its history, we can take our learning from it to help to move on
Getting good emotional support will help you in the recovery process.
At the end of the day your in the driving seat of your healing, you can take it when were you what it.

LOL About male PMS its called irritable male syndrome :wink:


Thanks. Tell that to the users who will get pissed off at me if I post about my problems again and don't recover immediately after they post something. There's some real as*holes on this site. :/

Sadly, the only place I can go for good emotional support is here but I also get a lot of jerks bringing me down at the same time. My family yells at me when I cry so they're no good and my friends live too far away. :(


I understand that, that was the reason that I read the riot act to those who didn't give you helpful support in this your thread.
If it happens again in haven then I'll deal with the as*holes myself for you.

You need people in your corner supporting you, please count me as one of those people in your corner supporting you.
If things get too much PM me ok. If the jerks get you down let me take care of them for you :wink:



Erisad
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10 Jun 2011, 2:35 pm

cdfox7 wrote:
Erisad wrote:
cdfox7 wrote:
If its going to take a few years then let it take that long, you set the pace of your recovery!
Now am sure that you what to get rid of that pain and misery that emotionally abuse creates now.
Do you what to hold on to those feelings?
The past is gone now its history, we can take our learning from it to help to move on
Getting good emotional support will help you in the recovery process.
At the end of the day your in the driving seat of your healing, you can take it when were you what it.

LOL About male PMS its called irritable male syndrome :wink:


Thanks. Tell that to the users who will get pissed off at me if I post about my problems again and don't recover immediately after they post something. There's some real as*holes on this site. :/

Sadly, the only place I can go for good emotional support is here but I also get a lot of jerks bringing me down at the same time. My family yells at me when I cry so they're no good and my friends live too far away. :(


I understand that, that was the reason that I read the riot act to those who didn't give you helpful support in this your thread.
If it happens again in haven then I'll deal with the as*holes myself for you.

You need people in your corner supporting you, please count me as one of those people in your corner supporting you.
If things get too much PM me ok. If the jerks get you down let me take care of them for you :wink:


Thanks a bunch. I'll try and get better about stuff, kay? :)



cdfox7
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10 Jun 2011, 3:00 pm

Erisad wrote:
cdfox7 wrote:
Erisad wrote:
cdfox7 wrote:
If its going to take a few years then let it take that long, you set the pace of your recovery!
Now am sure that you what to get rid of that pain and misery that emotionally abuse creates now.
Do you what to hold on to those feelings?
The past is gone now its history, we can take our learning from it to help to move on
Getting good emotional support will help you in the recovery process.
At the end of the day your in the driving seat of your healing, you can take it when were you what it.

LOL About male PMS its called irritable male syndrome :wink:


Thanks. Tell that to the users who will get pissed off at me if I post about my problems again and don't recover immediately after they post something. There's some real as*holes on this site. :/

Sadly, the only place I can go for good emotional support is here but I also get a lot of jerks bringing me down at the same time. My family yells at me when I cry so they're no good and my friends live too far away. :(


I understand that, that was the reason that I read the riot act to those who didn't give you helpful support in this your thread.
If it happens again in haven then I'll deal with the as*holes myself for you.

You need people in your corner supporting you, please count me as one of those people in your corner supporting you.
If things get too much PM me ok. If the jerks get you down let me take care of them for you :wink:


Thanks a bunch. I'll try and get better about stuff, kay? :)


YVW my friend, if you need any tip and resources for self help from the net and other places to help with you confidence, esteem and healing just PM me plus if need to talk privately about your issues again PM me :D



Sallamandrina
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10 Jun 2011, 3:34 pm

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