I can't go it alone anymore

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Scarecrow, I know where you're coming from. All my life I've lied to everyone about my many problems and it wasn't until a few years ago when I learned what AS was that I realized I wasn't the only person in the world dealing with this. Since then I've opened up to a few people (by few I mean 3) about some of my problems such as social difficulties, sensory issues, anxiety, depression and self-destuctive behaviors, but I've merely scratched the surface of these issues with those people, and I've never been completely honest with anyone. I'm not a virgin but I haven't had many girlfriends. I desire a meaningful relatioship with a girl but I screw up a lot and it's extremely frustrating and adds to my depression and hoplessness. I truley feel like I'm alone in this world and I have a hard time asking for help when I need it. I've always gone the route of working out my problems by myself. I guess what I'm trying to say is you're not the only one who's "going it alone" and feels like they just can't do it anymore. I hope my words have been helpful in some way, and hope that seeing a psychologist is beneficial for you.

I was like this until you meet a dumbass girl who treats you like s**t and wants you to open up and share every single feeling you have or she won't be happy and from being around jackasses. oh you don't talk anymore, you changed. My reputation is ruined. My life has been nothing but trying to find me again. I hate me.

yep we were both disdained by different ladies.