Scarecrow, I know where you're coming from. All my life I've lied to everyone about my many problems and it wasn't until a few years ago when I learned what AS was that I realized I wasn't the only person in the world dealing with this. Since then I've opened up to a few people (by few I mean 3) about some of my problems such as social difficulties, sensory issues, anxiety, depression and self-destuctive behaviors, but I've merely scratched the surface of these issues with those people, and I've never been completely honest with anyone. I'm not a virgin but I haven't had many girlfriends. I desire a meaningful relatioship with a girl but I screw up a lot and it's extremely frustrating and adds to my depression and hoplessness. I truley feel like I'm alone in this world and I have a hard time asking for help when I need it. I've always gone the route of working out my problems by myself. I guess what I'm trying to say is you're not the only one who's "going it alone" and feels like they just can't do it anymore. I hope my words have been helpful in some way, and hope that seeing a psychologist is beneficial for you.