I may be ready to give up.

Post Reply New Topic

I don't know what to do. It's really hard having to wake up every morning.
My best friend won't talk to me, the people at my school think I'm crazy, and I'm lying to my family and telling them nothing is wrong.
Every morning before school I drink an 8oz bottle of cough syrup to get high. I can't go to school without drinking it. I've been doing it for a while now, and I'm feeling the negative affects of it.
I don't have any money to buy some for tomorrow, and I'm really scared to go without it. I need it to forget that my only chance for a happy life is gone. I can't stop.
I'm hopeless, and I feel stupid for relying on cough medicine to keep me from crying or hurting myself.
I had a great friend to talk to, and now he's ignoring me because I probably did something stupid to upset him. I think I know what I did. I don't know what I'll do without him. I want to kill myself, and I feel horrible for thinking about it again.
I don't even know why I'm writing this, I don't feel any better.

Go to your school's heath center and ask for therapy, they should do it for free.

Whats in the cough syrup? I used 8 oz over a 2 week period for my cold so I'm
concern. My bottle says:
(5 ml)
Dextromethorphan HBr 10 mg
Guaifensin 100 mg
phenylephedrine 5 mg

237/ 5 = 47.4 teaspoon doses.

474 mg dextromethorphan HBr (thats alot)

If your taking a formula with acetoaminophen thats putting your liver through hell.
If you have high blood pressure avoiding high doses of phenylephedrine is wise.

Have you tried a drug like Buspar for anxiety?

What will happen if you tell your parents the truth?Are they open to the idea of you getting in patient therapy?Do they have good medical insurance?Please let me know some more details and maybe I can help.I have been through similar situation.

I can't ge to sleap I athinngk I''m going toi die.

Please, don't. You have so much to live for.

***

If you can't turn to your parents or any responsible adults contact these people:

San Francisco Suicide Prevention
PO Box 191350
CA 94119-1350
SAN FRANCISCO
California
Contact by: - Phone
Helpline 1: (415) 781-0500
Helpline 2: Linea Nocturna, Spanish: 1-800-303-SIDA
Helpline 3: Linea Nocturna, Spanish: (415) 989-5212
Website: www.sfsuicide.org
24 Hour service:

Here are some more resources:
# Call 1-800-SUICIDE in the U.S.
# Teenagers, call Covenant House NineLine, 1-800-999-9999
# Look in the front of your phone book for a crisis line

http://www.befrienders.org/helplines/helplines.asp?c2=USA

My first response was in case you need immediate help, please don't hesitate to call those numbers before you do anything harmful to yourself. Even if you don't think you are going to do something, call those numbers if you can't find a way beyond your bad feelings/experiences.

Try not to worry about what the people at school think. When you leave there you'll find that there are a whole lot of other ways of thinking and being than the people at school know. When they are the major people you see it's really hard to know that. You really have to know that if they don't have compassion, they are limited in their thinking, feeling and knowledge of life.

As far as cough syrup, don't feel bad that you used that to help yourself feel better. You feel beyond bad and need to do something. That's ok. It's not unnormal when you're feeling that bad to try anything you can. Please find someone who can help you find the right way to get beyond your pain. There are ways that people can help you with.

In this life there are times we can have more pain emotional and/or physical than we can handle, that's when it's time to go for help. It's natural that you can't find the help you need from a friend or parents. If you break your leg, your friends or parents aren't the ones who will set it and give you medication or surgery. You have to go to a doctor. The same thing for serious emotional pain. You need to find external help when your problems reach the level you described.

I'm wishing you love and light.

Yes, definitely get help. What's your doc like? It might help to have a chat with him/her. Depression can make you feel horrible and that things will never get better, but they can and they will. You have your whole life ahead of you and it won't be long until you leave school.
Hang in there Star, and please talk to someone about it, we all need a little help from time to time.

I feel that way, for a different reason.

I have gone through similar experiences Starbuline. The best advice I can give is to focus on the positive things in your life, rather than the negative things.

College or highschool?

I might try the health center. Also, do you have a regular dr. you can go to? I have really severely abused drugs in the past (illegally obtained prescription drugs) for sleep and for weight loss. When I go to my regular dr. she gives me something less destructive for the problem at hand and I usually end up feeling better without needing to go to a shrink (hate 'em).

Is there a clergy member that you can talk to? I know that those are hit or miss as well, but there is one local rabbi that I feel comfortable talking to - I'm not Jewish but my husband is. He is very articulate and very profound in most of the advice he gives. I don't know about your religious affiliation, but I can PM you his contact info if you feel it applies to you and you want it.

Starbuline, you have to find a way to stop drinking cough syrup like that; in amounts like that it's poisonous, you're causing tremendous damage to your body that could follow you for life. If you trust the doctor your family takes you to even the smallest amount, go to him/ her and tell them what you've been doing. You should tell your parents the truth too, even if they are not nice people (I don't know if they are or not).

Do you have a therapist? I'm sorry, I can't remember from your posts if you do or not.

If this friend is a true friend, he'll forgive you.