Anxious about school ... and always getting fixated on thing

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I feel worthless. I am in fourth year and should be graduating by next May, but because of extenuating circumstances my second year was a dud because of family issues and chronic depression, so because of that bad year my average is not where it should be and I don't feel confident that if I applied to law school I would be accepted, so I am going to take a fifth year to boost my average and get the fullness out of my education.

I haven't really volunteered at all these last three years (2008-present). I want to start writing again for the school newspaper which I did back in 2009. I only have 8,829 dollars in my bank account and I am stressing about ending up broke.

I usually ignore most people in my surroundings but if a girl comes up and talks to me sometimes I get fixated about that girl. There is this pretty blonde lady who used to come round all the time who one day said hi to me and used my name but yet before I had seen her and think I never remembered her before she started using my name and now I am fixated on her. I am not a stalker, though, don't get me wrong but I just happen to ignore everyone in my surroundings until someone introduces themselves to me then I get fixated with them. Why is this?

I feel like I will be a failure and continue to work my part time job forever as I see people getting together, getting married, getting cool jobs, and making a life for themselves and I am where in my life, no where.

It's never too late to start volunteer work. You've got a whole year left. If you have some choices try and pick a place that is likely to give you contacts that can help you get a job. In my experience most people don't even do volunteer work. Many that do only do it for a short amount of time. Most importantly for you I think, the more recent the volunteer work the better. No one's going to care if you did volunteer work 3 years ago.

What can you do about getting fixated on people? Well, maybe not a lot. Ask yourself if you really want to change it. Does it get in the way of anything? If it really does there may be a way be things you can do about it... I don't know if these will work but the way I see it you can try to things. You can try deliberately to forget about the person or you can try to be more involved with other people. You tend to ignore other people... try not ignoring them? Maybe if you get used to talking to people the whole thing will stop being so novel and perhaps you won't get as fixated as you used to. I guess a third thing you could do is actually go talk to the girl you like (unless the fixation is something other than interest/admiration).

Interesting people catch my attention all the time... I wouldn't say it's a bad thing.

Financially... I can see why you'd be worried. Your future depends on you getting a job after your education and it's normal to be concerned about it. After all, what guarantee is there that you will find one?

My suggestion is to monitor these things closely as you come out of university or wherever it is you're studying. When you inevitably finish school it may be worthwhile seeking more hours at work or finding a second part time job while you search for a fulltime job in your field. If you really start to get worried, find ways to live spending as little money as possible so that it lasts a long time.

If you feel like you are falling behind your peers it may be worthwhile to evaluate whether this is actually true. For example, of the people you grew up with that are still studying, how many of those are getting married and finding these jobs you're talking about? You may find that you're sitting at roughly the same position as them, minus the extra year you'll be doing.

Maybe they're miles ahead of you, but maybe they're not. If the only difference is that you've fallen behind a bit in your studies then I wouldn't worry too much. What real difference is a year going to make in the long run?


The way I see it you've still got some options. What do you think?